Couple of dirty jokes - Page 2

Hot Dog-
Heaven-

This is getting good...

An 87 year old man got married to a 30 year old pretty woman. Every day they had sex in the morning, afternoon and night time. After thirty days the man went to his Dr. for a check up. After the old man told the Dr. about his getting married with all the sex he was having and after checking him and finding nothing out of the ordinary, the Dr. asked why he came to see him. The old man replied, "because I get light-headed after wacking off in betweeen having sex with my new bride."

Heaven- (only because I heard it before, but I can't bring back the humor.)
Wacking off-

old man-

what do cowboy hats and hemmoroids have in common?..................................................................
...............sooner or later every asshole gets one.

-asshole!

asshole

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts".

Nice short one

A guy walks into a bar and pulls out a 12" pianist.


ha ha ha

that's it, that's the joke.

It was the first day of kindgergarten and the teacher asked each child to stand up and say their name. When she got to one little girl she stood up and said Happy Hiney. The teacher said I know thats not your name when you come back tomorrow I expect you to tell me your real name

The next day the little girl stood up and said Happy Hiney. This time the teacher told the little girl to have her mother write her name down on a piece of paper and bring it to school the next day

The next day she came in with the paper and the teacher opened it up and read her name. Your mother says your name is Gladys thats a pretty name why do you call yourself Happy Hiney?

The little girl replied Happy Hiney Glad Ass what's the difference!

_Glad ass! he he hee

Well, try this one on for size. A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down, orders a drink and then lets his pet monkey go loose. First the monkey decided to go up on the counter. When he got there he took a martini olive and just slide that thing down his mouth without even lookin' at it. He figures next that he is still hungry so he climbed up onto the pool table and swallowed the cue ball, whole. The man saw what his naughty monkey did so he simply told the bartender, "I'm sorry about that cue-ball, I'll pay for it and the drink before I go." He does so and leaves. A couple of weeks later, the same man comes back to the same bar with the same monkey behind him. The man sits down, orders a drink and lets his monkey loose. This time when the monkey went onto the counter, he grabbed a marichino cherry, stuck it straight up his ass, pulled it out, and ate it. The barkeep sees this act and remarked, "Sir, I swear I could've seen your monkey put a cherry up his butt and eat it. The man responded, "Yes, ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first."

-monkey!

What is a lesbian dinasour called? A Lickalotapus

What can I say? I like your train of thought!