Inescapable Human Emotion

I want to start this by saying that I have no father figure in my life. My father and I have no relationship because I have had to seperate myself from him because he is incredibly destructive to himself and those around him. Now in a later stage in my life, specifically, now that I am a man and not a boy, I can look back on my relationship with my father, on my father specifically, and understand that while he was there at some points, few points, and mainly when I was very young, and still not really then... I'm trying to be fair to the guy here, for the most part he wasn't there... So I can look back on his behaviors and realize that in my mind he was never really a healthy adult male figure.

Now, as a human, and as a member of the male gender, I have an innate desire in me to gain the respect of my father, so that I can feel like I am a man myself. I see this as an emotional thing that no human is born with out. This is what causes guys to have a strong desire to be an alpha male. This is what caused me in my younger years to try to defeat adult males that I had respect for. (yes you are one of the men decius) Essentially, I am talking about "daddy issues."

I asked myself the question, which is the question of this thread, can these things ever trully be escaped?

Because as a human, I am supposed to have a father who is respectful, loving, supporting, strong, wise and protective. My dad is none of those things. So I have this whole in my emotional outlook on the world that no matter how strong I become will always be there because when reality is percieved as reality, I have no father. I have no one who supports me in any of the ways that I father is meant to soppurt someone. So, as long as I remain honest with what is actually happening in my life, I will always have that emotional void, and it comes out all the time in ways that I can't see coming. And for all my efforts to get rid of this annoying thing, it isn't leaving.

Decius, I saw last night that you were reading the blind faith thread and an imidiate sense of pride hit me. I don't like that. I don't like that my mind is trying to find a father. Trying to find someone who will respect me so that I can feel I am worthy of respect. You have expressed many times that you have a problem feeling like you have enough money to feel secure and that you must rely on your parents for that sense of security, yet at the same time acknowledge that you've got plenty of cash and you can take care of yourself just fine.

I am wondering, as humans, are we destined to feel this way, simply because our parents, our fathers, are not in our lives? I know a lot of people in my life that refuse to acknowledge that their parents are bad for them and they do so in such a primitive emotional manner. Its like, another person takes over who they are and they begin acting in really bad ways. Are they prone to that behavior as an attempt to escape looking for that parental satisfaction in someone else? OR can it only trully be found in your parents.

And how many other things are there in our minds that we can not escape from because they are programmed requirements for emotional satisfaction?

This questions interest me very much. Has any one else explored these ideas?

My father could not be a father to me on our weekend visits. He's a good man, though. In our time together, he always offered/offers a friendly ear and has taught me much about how to use my hands to get work done (though I didn't always listen). We've had limited time together, but I love my father.

I don't see him as a man who "chose the bottle over us" the way my brother sees him. He's a man who lost his way. He now lives off of memories, memories of when he had a family, and he looks back fondly.

I, too, have had this same feeling you did. It's passed on for me now, though. I had always sought father figures, and I found them, for what I felt I lacked. As a man, I realized one day, I lacked nothing.

I had all the love I'd needed. All the guidance given to me (which we forget about most of it) helped take me in new and exciting directions. I have more in my mind and heart because of these people than I could have ever imagined some time ago. I owe my life, the part that counts most for me, to these people including my father.

Listen, Awakened, perhaps it would serve you well to reflect on just who has been instrumental in helping you to find who you are. Reeeeeaaaaaally focus in on it. If you feel you can't do it alone, talk with someone qualified in wandering the mind to join you in your journey to yesteryear.

I can almost guarantee you didn't come to be this intelligent (I've read your posts, more than you know buddy), on your own. Look back. And realize you've been given a lot and made good use of what you've been given.

You don't need to look up to anyone anymore if you're making who you'd like to be a reality. And if you can can see the progress you're making, and you can see others' actions for what they are/were, this thing that's been latched onto you will fall off and wither.

I appreciate the insight, but I think my point got missed in my example.

Can a set of circumstances where an individual is placed in a position where their mind function improperly prevent that mind from properly functioning, even if the circumstances are no longer valid to that minds survival?

Is there an emotional requirment for a natural functioning mind? And can circumstances prevent those requirments from ever being met? No matter how much you grow.

For instance, lets ssay you don't have issues with your dad cause you accept his love now, does your brother accept his love? Does he still have a void? If he does and you do not that would indicate that simply by having a father to look up to an emotional need is met.

See, I have no one to look up to, and never have. So I am naturally prone to feeling lost, because I have no guidance. Now, my question is, is the subconcious so aware of reality that it will place itself in an unnatural state in order to get someones personality to seek satisfaction in an emotional requirment not met...

Very abstract there... You get that?

No, I guess I'm not smart enough....

Or perhaps you missed MY point..

lol I doubt it, I'm just not being clear enough.

I understand wha tyou are saying about me and my particular emotional issues with my father. That makes sense to me.

But what I'm trying to theorize is that the subconcious mind could be so linked to reality that if there is an unnatural occurence in someones life, like being a 35 year old virgin, or having your testicals removed, or not having parents, that there is a possibility that under those circumstances the mind can not act natural. Therefor, those emotions are inescapable.

Obviously just a theory.

Believe me, I get what you're saying. For all the unnecessary intellectualizing, I dug into the main point. Again, perhaps you don't understand ME. It's okay, you don't have to be threatened.

When people cannot, or do not, give us what we need, it's nothing personal....

There, for all your words, that's it. THE message. Now move on in your life.

I mean, Im not inteluctaullizing this, Im just using my personal dialect.

And I dont feel threatened, im not sure why you think I do.

And its not about the pain of being hurt... Its about the mind healing and whether or not the mind has the capability of healing from certain things.

Like, what if something messed someones mind up so much tha tthey COULDNT heal?

And you're assuming I don't understand it. Me assuming you feel threatened has to do with the fact that you've stated I missed your point, when clearly, I've conveyed that I understand it quite well. I feel I'm not off topic, while you feel I am.

I will not compromise my position and give false admittance to a lack of understanding. While it is true, you were not clear in your statement for all the intellectualizing, I understand what you're saying.

Pain and healing define one another. Without healing, there is no pain. Without pain, no healing. Of course one can heal their psychological wounds. I'm living proof of that. What more proof do you need? There are many besides me.

And surely, under the right circumstances, anyone can remain in the wrong mindframe. Anyhow, I DO NOT mean this to offend you, but you're young yet. I realize I'm only a few years older than you are, but I've been where you are.

I've analyzed everything to death and then some (concepts, not facts/events/etc.), and I find it's given me the ability to become succinct and to the point in my thinking/communicating, whereas it was once quite the opposite.

"No, I guess I'm not smart enough...."

What?

How can you admit that I am unclear while simaltaneously stating that you understand me? How does that make any sense?

You dumbed down your initial post for me as though I didn't understand it. I replied with what seemed to be an affirmation in that. What SEEMED to be.

Anyhow, you had moved on from the subject of "I" to that of the comprehensive "We." Where exactly do you want to go with this?

I'm beginning to suspect you're here for verbal judo. Because if we're going from your specific case to the general, I'm not sure why that is. Because your shift to the population at large has no bearing on your particular conundrum. It's all in the circumstances of the individual whether or not they can heal.

You can look at some cases as inspiration to heal, and you can look to other cases for comfort in not healing. But they have no real bearing on who/where you are. If you wanna talk you, let me know.