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 59yrs • F •  A CTL of 1 means that spicesoup is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.  |
no. its not about being old.
its about feeling like i have everything i need. i am not shutting out anything nor am i being blind to the absence of my man. but i feel complete. and am anchored. i have a community of friends that i am very connected to. i have my extended family that are there - no matter what - tho' i am not too connected to them. and i have my kids and pets and a whole life that occupies me IF i choose to let it.
thru this relationship, i found myself being repulsed by 'male' attention from others becos of the devotion i felt for this man. i feel that even now. and i think i may feel this forever - so another romantic relationship does not seem likely.
there is some legend about "aristophanes" - its in some really obscure pages on google - and his twin or soulmate - i think this guy was my twin. the converse may not be true. but thats just too bad for me.
these kinds of experiences dont happen all the time. in my 41 years this is the first time i have felt so anchored and at peace. so i lwont let go of this story, even if the story lives only in my head !
and thank u for yr support zach.
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"live this day as if it were your last"
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