The Big Orgy on Capitol Hill

The Orgy of Pigs & Elephants & Donkeys in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
part seven of a musical by Wolf Larsen

That's when the two political candidates (the ass & big fat elephant) begin dancing with human-sized pigs-in-suits who have lots of money bulging out of their pockets. And the pigs-in-suits are throwing money everywhere, while the ass & big fat elephant are picking up all the "campaign contributions".

Meanwhile the skunk of the liberal news network looks upon this and announces: "The liberal asses are triumphing over the forces of the reactionary-right-wing-evil-twiddle-dumbers! Soon, the affordable deodorant act will be mandatory for all to show that the ass in the White House really cares! Like the birds in the air the ass in the White House really cares! And with the Camelot of the Kennedys & Obamas it's like King Louis & Marie Antoinette having the Versailles orgy at the White House!"

The horns & woodwinds all blast out: "Orgyyyyy at the White House! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!"

The harp then plays: "Orgy! Orgy! Weeeeeeeeeee!"

Meanwhile, the elephant and donkey presidential candidates continue dancing with the pigs-in-suits who are throwing cash/campaign contributions everywhere, which the elephants & asses are picking up and putting in their pockets.

And now the rat of the right-wing news network looks upon the same scene and sings: "The great new beginning is here my fellow fat Americans! This is a great beginning of a new self-reliant tomorrow of cocaine for the bourgeoisie – and crack-cocaine and jail for the poor! The conservative forces of self-reliancy are prevailing like pigeon poop upon a heroic statue in the park!

"Pigeon poop! Pigeon poop!" blurts out the trumpet.

The rat continues singing: "Trickle-down! Trickle-down! The bourgeoisie are in their penthouses urinating trickle-down upon the plebeians walking on the sidewalks below!"

"Trickle-dOwn! Trickle-dOwn!" laugh the woodwinds all over the place.

Then a bunch of handsome men & beautiful women jump on stage and dance and prance around as they sing: "Buy buy buy! Buy some cornflakes with Ace Motor Oil for your dog! Buy the best whoopeeee ka-zackity high drugs you can get with a prescription! New prescription drugs with your chicken nuggets will make you as zippy as the zippiest zap! Happy zippy-zippy-zippity! Buy buy buy! Easy financing for your new car-potato chips-lawn care treatment available!"

Then the stage clears.

Now on stage there's a man in a wheelchair missing most of his limbs singing in a begging tone: "I signed up for the Army to get money for college. But instead of getting an education I got all my limbs got blown off. The government denied me benefits. The government says I can work. But nobody will hire me. Please help! Please help! Please help!"

As the man in the wheelchair begs all the donkeys & elephants & pigs-in-suits walk by ignoring him.

One of the pigs-in-suits stops in front of the begging man and faces the audience and sings: "Doppity-do do-WOW! I'm so rich! I'm so rich because God wants me to be rich! Moopity – hop hop – beep beep! All this war is good for business! Ka-blam ka-boom tat-tat-tat money money money! I stand on top of a mountain of bleeding corpses and money! God and money and war – ka-BOOM happy wappy! I'm RICH, and I deserve it! All these poor people deserve to be poor! All they do is work! What good is that? I pay my secretary in peanuts and the kid in her tummy is probably mine! But don't tell her husband that! Ha-ha ha-ha! Secretaries sure do come cheap! Ha-ha ha-ha!"

Then both the ass & the elephant get on either side of the pig in the suit and put their arms around him and together all three sing: "Money and politics and money and politics and money and politics –"

And while they sing the injured veteran continues singing in a begging tone: "Please help! Please help! Please please help!"

And now on one side of the stage with the flags of Iraq & Afghanistan & Vietnam we see people in Middle Eastern & Asian dress. They are being shot down by soldiers and bombs are falling on them and the whole while the pig & ass & elephant keep singing: "Money and politics and money and politics and money and politics!"

And now on the other side of the stage, which has the American flag, a bunch of poverty-stricken wretches wait in line at a soup kitchen for food. As the unemployed wretches are served meager rations the ass sings: "My fellow Americans! My fellow sheep waiting ever so patiently for World War III! Big changes are cumming! Can't you feel the wave of change?! Poverty – I mean prosperity – is just around the corner! Can't you feel my change of underwear! –"

And one of the unemployed wretches goes up to the big ass and sings: "Mister President, you got some spare change?! Some spare change Mister President?! I lost my job!–"

But the big ass, ignoring the beggar, continues singing: "Yes! The big change has cum! I'm cumming all my big change all over you! Oh change! I’m cumming! I’m cumming! Oh! Oh! – "

Meanwhile the beggar keeps interrupting the ass while he shakes his cup of coins: "You got any spare change Mister President?? I'm unemployed!"

And the ass continues singing: "Before white men in the Oval Office bombed other countries, attacked civil liberties, and presided over the biggest prison population found anywhere in the world! But now, the big change has cum! And now a black man in the White House bombs other countries, attacks civil liberties, and presides over the biggest prison population found anywhere in the world – "

And the beggar interrupts continuously as he shakes his cup of change: "You got any spare change, Mister President?!"

Then, the big fat elephant begins singing: "The Party-of-Asses give crumbs to the unemployed and they're so ungrateful! They're always demanding jobs! They're always whining ‘We’re unemployed! We’re unemployed!’ All they do is whine whine whine! They've got food in their stomachs today, what more do they want! We should just let the ungrateful wretches starve! Because God wants the poor to starve! This is what God tells me when I talk to him at night. We Republicans call God on our telephones every night and –"

Then, all the unemployed wretches sing together: "We lost our jobs and we lost our homes and now we're hungrrrrry! Capitalism is great, wouldn't youuuu?"

The elephant keeps singing: "You lost your jobs and you lost your homes and now you're hungrrrrrry! That's because, you deserve it!"

All the unemployed wretches sing: "We lost our jobs and we lost our homes and now we're hungrrrrry! If they take away our food stamps, we’ll just have to eat the rich!"

One of the beggars sings out: "Doesn't roasted pig sound delicious?"

And the trumpet & saxophone sing out: "RoAst pig! RoAst pig!"

And the clarinet plays: "Yummy yummy! Yummy yummy!"

And the ass sings: "The big change is here! More poverty is just around the corner! Just be patient! Big change! Big change! –"

And the beggar shaking his begging cup of coins sings: "Spare change Mister President?! Spare change?!"

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen

That is AWESOME!

I had to register for this site just so I could tell you that. I would love to see this play come to fruition in a viral way -- where it is done by amateur groups around the country.

BTW, I imagined giant caricature type heads/masks on the actors.

Thank you Ricky!