can you feel normal after heavy drug use?

Well im just another person dealing with addiction. im 22 years old and tried drugs for the first time in middle school. iv been outa school now for years and trying to start a healthy clean respectful life. But its been difficult. im not getting anywhere i feel at this point. i also feel depressed at times, social anxity(cause of self shame and low self esteem). i feel i have no joy in body, like no good feelings. Like cold and empty. no motivation, no drive whats so ever.

Im just now trying to get over a heroin addiction. its a battle but i know in my heart ill get through it. the thing i worry about is not feeling normal again. i used to be sooo out going and have alot of good friends. but now iv pushed people away. Iv even been thinking about leaving my gurlfriend cause she has a good head and has a plan in life. and i have nothing. i work at a store, live at my parents house and have no desire in being something great. well i should say i have no drive/motivation. cause i do desire it.

its pretty much im just not happy with me anymore and hate the way i feel. i hope i didnt damage my brain to the point of no recovery. iv done alot of mind altering drugs, iv done many types of drugs period.

For example: cannabis, xtc (also just mdma, mda and kbmdma) lsd (paper hits, micro dots, jell tabs) mushrooms (also just the main chemical in the shrooms) mesculin, cocain, heroin, pain pills of all kinds, crack, DMT, pcp, ketamine, 2c-e, 2c-i, 2c-p, 4-meo- pcp, 5-meo-pcp, 4-ho-mpt, mxe, amt.
and more i cant remmember. (sorry if i misspelled some of the RC's) iv gotting into the underground rc's a while back and tripped off so many things that i cant even recall.

So yea, does anyone have any opinions on what i have to look forward to? im really hoping i get this cloud from over my head. for the longest time i didnt even feel the sun shine on me and just recently im able to really see how bold and vibrint colors are. it was like everything was in a shadow. i hope my good feelings come back to me. i am tryn to be healthy, exercise and eat right (fyi)

any advice and experience's with this would be much loved.

thanks.

Sorry brother but in your adolescence and curiosity you seems to have crossed the line.
Most on your list are actually beneficial to most people. But you have taken the gruesome twosome " heroin and crack"
These two will literally destroy and consume your soul. Most on your list have little to no long term effect. Within time your mind will heal. The heroin and crack will have a devastating effect on your physical appearance.

Haha. well im not a criack head. i tried crack once. i struggled with heroin for around a year but recently got clean. (two weeks ago). im on a healthy diet and track now. i wont give up. i think ill bounce back.

What is normal? What is normal for you may not be normal for someone else. If you feel differently than you felt before, maybe you will feel the way you did before again, but maybe, this is your new normal or a variation of it.