....we have arrived to question our hype or die for our denials of its delusional nature...

The Thousand-Martyr Stretch


Aligned like fence posts, swaying in the breeze....and if one falls down are we all obligated to do the same, out of loyalty to a dead ideal of solidarity that makes genocide out of one,s inability to grasp what they keep groping for? The interdependence seems worse than hopeless, for sacrificial scapegoats like us....for how can I hold if I can only save you from my fate by letting go, how I justify the caress and touch if you feel duty-bound to follow me into limbless limbo? These red-rover lies need to learn to fold in on all they wish to protect....especially this precious insistence we've got to go to save the whole of humanity, when in fact we're afraid to be saved from our alienation and found worthy of redemption.

I don't have all the answers, let alone the phrases that lay the truly relevant questions bare for examination and inquiry....I only know the ache in my shoulders and the temptation to let go, to fall for any folly that could bring the peace of nothingness to this consciousness run haywire on empathy and alienation. I used to know how to be alone in my self-defeating convictions better than this...there was a time I knew better than to insist I deserved better than to be treated like a useful leper, existing only to be used and abused and disparaged for volunteering my caring without concern for what's made of me. Now I have little to nothing to give again...and no right to take without making an offering of myself, for however much or little I'm worth to any other. It's too tempting to kill the will to continue in this crucified position....and there's no one to save like this, it's all just another waste of precious blood on the indifferent earth as far as salvation and sin is concerned. Time to mistake myself for the devil you can never touch about it, I guess....until your fall reminds me we have to stand up for more than all we're eager to die for. Let me touch you if you can bear to...and if not,let me cut my hands off and make certain the sacrifice is as wasted as this way of being.


I'd rather tear my ligaments trying to reach you than assume I can only save you by sacrificing myself...Samuel Bear Davis...