Amadore

Being a prostitute, I had never been loved by a man, never been touched that gentle touch of tenderness that I imagined came with care filled exchanges.

I remember the delusions I used to experience when I first started working in my... profession. I was young. Barely sixteen when I started using my body as a way to survive. It was do that or die. The only opportunity an invalid like me has. You don't choose this job. It's what you're given the day you're born.

I suppose it's natural for a sixteen year old to believe that this stranger whose suddenly inside you is going to see your soul. As though being in that intimate position will connect the two of you. That when he looks down at you or strokes your back or moans with gratitude that you're no longer two strangers, no longer a john with his whore, no longer a business transaction, that you're two souls connecting and that you'll always be connected from the on. There's no preparation for what comes next except experience. Reality breaking the delusion. Where afterwards you think you a new friend in your life, a companion, someone who cares and so you hold them, hug them only to be told to get the fuck away.

In retrospect those early experiences were far kinder to me. When you're younger you're in demand so money is easier. Young human girls are preferred over bots.

---to be continued

WOW!

I suck at making comments, but I try anyway.

Wonderful writing!

There's a lot of good writing here now!