Liberal Poopsy-Doddley-Do & Conservative Poopsy-Doodle-Dee

Liberal Poopsy-Doddley-Do & Conservative Poopsy-Doodle-Dee
a prose poem by Wolf Larsen

The President of the United States of America was shitting McDonald's hamburgers onto the assembly line while Ronald McDonald the clown was standing alongside of him and clapping and screaming out, "Doopsy-doodily-do! Doopsy-doodily-dee!"

Meanwhile, there were tens of thousands of predator drones above the skies of America blasting dissidents & other undesirables into dust and as the President of the United States was shitting McDonald's hamburgers onto the assembly line he was simultaneously giving a press conference to the news media and the president announced: "Hoorooooh-moorooooh-haaaaaa!"

So suddenly the headlines in the newspapers and on the Internet was "President Says Hoorooooh-Moorooooh-Haaaaaa!" And the American military was smashing down doors in the middle of the night across the USA and dragging Americans to Guantánamo Bay detention centers that had sprouted up like magical mushrooms across the land. And the liberal commentators said, "Pee-pee! Wee-wee! Vote Demopublican!" And the conservative commentators said, "ka-ka! Ha-ha! Vote Republicrat!"

And the police were beating up on veterans that were protesting yet another war and the political commentators denounced the veterans as "unpatriotic" and that's when Rush Limbaugh (who was as high as the cosmos above our heads) said, "Beeehop! Snarkie dock! Whhazzag?" And all the craZy-rAbid-tYpes who hadn't had their rabies shots ran out into the streets screaming the words of their hero:

"BEEEHOP! SNARKIE DOCK! WHHAZZAG?
BEEEHOP! SNARKIE DOCK! WHHAZZAG?
BEEEHOP! SNARKIE DOCK! WHHAZZAG?"

Meanwhile the President of the USA was pulling names of countries out of a hat and bombing them at random and the vice-president was pulling names of US citizens out of a hat and sending the army to disappear them in the middle of the night and the American president continued defecating McDonald's hamburgers unto the assembly lines and the right-wing commentators denounced the President's McDonald's hamburgers as being "too socialist and liberal" and the liberals complained about cruelty to animals while the police beat up on striking workers & protesters from Longview Washington to Wall Street New York and that's when the Association of Rabid Christian Warriors declared that God was too liberal and then coffee was declared illegal (because after all it was a drug) and then...

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

I was woken up by the alarm clock. It was time to wake up and go to work. I was one of the lucky ones. I still had a job! And my home hadn't even been confiscated by the banks yet! Lucky me!!

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen. Advance permission is given to anyone wishing to publish, distribute, and/or read out loud to an audience this work to do so as long as no alterations are made to the work, and credit is given to the author.

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