looking for love

This is the third fucking time I have tried making this post. I'm doing this with a ps3.

I cannot love myself and I can't be happy. I lie to and manipulate my partner even though he is completely loving and accepting. We discuss daily why I cannot be open and why I am insecure over everything and still I do not trust my partner. My parents didn't love me and I know it has to do with them but why can't I move on from the past and accept the love I have now? I am trying to pour my soul out here because I'm hoping someone will care but I'm loved already. I want to talk to a stranger. Why? When I have everything I need from my partner and why can I not love myself? Why can't I trust my partner?