What to do?

So I'm a hard worker and I've always pushed myself to do my best even though I procrastinate something awful. I'm a senior in high school with only five weeks left but I'm really stressing out. This year I'm taking four Advanced Placement classes, tutoring children in math, and working extra hard with chores at home because both of my parents were college drop-outs who now have to work long and late hours to get us enough money to get by. I'm exhausted all the time and I'm usually up until 4 am most nights just working on homework because I'm so busy with chores and other things at home. I'm also starting college next year and will have to get a job to help my parents pay for my education.

I'm contemplating suicide.

I realize it's selfish and people will look down on me for it, but is it selfish to want them to donate my body to science to help someone learn about anatomy and physiology? Is it selfish for me to ask them to use money they would have spent on me for my younger brothers college fund? Is it selfish of me to make it so they aren't nearly $20,000 in debt just so I can go to school? Is it careless of me to make it so my brother, always having walked in my shadow, can now be the sole recipient of my parents love and affection? Is it selfish of me to just want to rest and never have to get up again? Is it selfish of me to want to leave this hell-hole that we call the world? Is it selfish of me?

Donating your body to science is not selfish; however it is unnecessary. thousands of people die everyday that can provide viable cadavers, so it would be unnecessary. it is not selfish to save your parents from debt, and ask them to use the money for you on your younger brother, but you'd be committing suicide. They would be in so much grief there's a good chance they would have to spend that money on other things, like a funeral, headstone, psychiatrist to help cope with the grief of losing their oldest son.

You may think you're helping your little brother who has always looked up to you, but you are in fact hurting him. He's losing his role model, his older brother, his best friend throughout his life. He may get more attention from your parents, unless in their sorrow they go the other way and neglect him and themselves. By committing suicide, your little brother is statistically more likely to also attempt taking his life. So maybe not selfish, but a misguided intention.

Is it selfish for you to just want to rest and and want to leave this world? Yes! Selfishness can only be justified in our pursuit of happiness as long as it does not impede on others ability to be happy.

Suicide, regardless of intention, is always selfish, because despite whatever good may very rarely come of it, more times than not it does nothing more than cause a lot of people to experience depression and thoughts of their own about suicide.

I promise you that this isn't the way to solve your problems. It may end whatever suffering you may be feeling right now, but the grief, sorrow, pain, and problems it will cause for those around you, and those that love you, and have worked hard to give you the best life they could, will be far more substantial, and far more severe.

Things will get better Beskinzler. Billions upon billions of people throughout history have referred to life as a roller coaster with both ups and downs, and how can so many people be so wrong?

Life is tough right now, but suicide will not give you rest, it will not bring you happiness, and it will not bring to fruition all the good intentions you have proposed by committing such an act. You will not be happier, because you will not exist any longer (atheism), or if you do continue to exist you will either be in eternal suffering in hell (judeo-christian/muslim), or you'll be reincarnated in worse circumstances (hinduism/ buddhism).

I beg you to please stick around. Go to college, try a community college for two years and build up some more money, andif you want to continue, then venture to some university when you're ready and can afford it.

Senior year of high school is a very stressful time. There's a lot going on in your life, there are a lot of important decisions to be made, and a lot of crazy emotions, shifting values, changing ideals, and unclear desires. Push your way through this year, and let life happen on life's terms. Happiness will come! The sun always shines after the rain! Just keep on keeping on my friend.