My attempt at poetry.

Let me know what you think Mine probably aren't as good as some of the others but oh well, if you like this one I might put up some more...


Empty Eyes and a Broken Heart

I feel no pain,
I feel no hate,
I feel no happiness,
Nor the scars that you have left,
For I sit with empty eyes and a broken heart,
In the blackest nothingness,
Left behind in your wake,
As you left me, did you hear it break?
As you turned out to be a fake?

I feel no sorrow,
I feel no tomorrow,
I feel no kindness,
Nor the love you told me of,
For I sit with empty eyes and a broken heart,
Your absence tearing me apart,
Fears gone as we depart,
You took it without a second glance,
I see no reason to give you a second chance...

Poetry is not about impressing, it is about expressing. You know if you have expressed yourself. Don't let other people tell you if you are good enough or not.

True.... Thanks for that


Whisper

I am just a whisper,
Just a shadow,
Just a knife in the dark,
I leave no trace...

I am just the wind,
Just an echo,
Just the knife, in your back,
I leave no trace....

I am just as vague,
Just a plague,
Just the knife, that left that scar,
I wish I left no trace...

If those aren't ripped off song lyrics. You kick ass. Lol.

Haha no they aren't, at least no songs I've heard... Although after I wrote this one I thought it did sound a bit like song lyrics


One Tear

One tear for every body that's dropped,
One tear for every heart that's stopped,
Sat upon my throne with all doors locked,
All the memories in my head, blocked.

One tear for every blood drop,
One tear for every lifes fake prop,
Table infront, gun on top,
Lingering fears and shattered hopes float around,
Inevatablility strong in the air,
No locked door will stop this fear,
I sit and wait as it washes over me,
Like the tears I shed.

Empty Frame

I sat upon a field,
Underneath a tree of sorrow,
Wishing the pain to yield,
Wondering how I were to survive the morrow.

Morrow came,
With only shame,
I walked around, an empty frame...

Nice>>Empty Frame>>I quite like that. Simple, quite, yet says alot.

Thank you

Based on World War 2

Fake Faces

Read on their faces,
Like all the bombed out places,
Crying in the night,
Gone in the morning without any traces,
They walk the trenches,
Guns in hands,
Whereas the others walk the lands,
With their star-covered bands.

Both with the same expression,
Each without a confession,
Both fighting the oppression,
Leaving one expression,
Read on their faces,
Like all the bombed out places,
Leaving no traces....

Been up since 4am so I don't know if this one makes much sense....

Untitled

Behind these eyes,
Live a thousand lies,
Please don't sympathise,
I need to emphasize,
I need you to realize,
Everybody cries...
Every relationship has it's highs,
But to my demise,
This appears not to rise,
And if this dies,
Do not despise,
Another will arise.

Again, made while half asleep so I'm unsure of this one...


Untitled

Whispers float through the trees,
On a mid-summers breeze,
filled with awe.
I feel my heart soar,
As I see your long brown hair,
Glistening and floating in the air,
I think to myself 'are you really mine?'
tingles running up my spine,
A kiss so tender,
A hug so slender.

A thousand lies

A thousand lies,
Behind the desprate cries,
Of those that came before.

Sitting on the hills,
Looking at life as stills,
As everybody cries and takes their pills...

Left alone in a darkened room,
Broken and empty in the gloom,
Life gone past too, soon...

Far away on a cloudless night,
Everyone is out of sight,
I do not...Belong...

One mans happiness is another mans pain

One mans happiness is another mans pain,
That's what I thought,
When I saw you,
In his arms and not mine,
Laughing as he tells you a joke that was never even funny,
You told me I was the one,
Now it seems it was only for fun,
I was told you could never love another guy,
Now I see it was just another fucking lie,
You never gave me a reason why,
You took him with a sigh...

Ah if only it was this simple...

The Man and The Boy

There was a boy, sitting at a creek,
His mood somewhat bleak,
A travelling man pondered,
And over he wondered,
"Why do you sit and cry? in me you can confide."
"Lifes gone by." He replied.
"that's no reason to be so glum!"
"It is when you are nothing but scum."
The man pondered some more,
Then answered: "I am not your savior, nor mentor. But I can assure, you are not what you say."
"And how would you know,someone who says something so cliche?"
"Follow, young boy, I can prove what I say is true."
"And if what you say is eschew?"
"Then I'm afraid there is nothing I can do."
The boy followed, to a town,
Such a place so run down,
As they walked, the man looked down and asked: 'What do you see?"
"Nothing that benefits me."
"Then you are not looking hard enough."
"Well isn't that just tough?"
Ignoring the boys huff, He advised: "Look at the people, who live with no home no money nor shelter, can you honestly tell me you are not doing better?"
The boy turned bitter, "No." was his comment.
"Then I am right, to an extent."
The boy turned bitter to better, a frown no longer on his face in the town.
"You see, you have no reason to be bitter, there is always someone who you are better."
So the child walked away, a smile on his face as he went his fair way.

Forgottentruth -

"The Man and The Boy" - I think this is wonderfully written! Your rhyming scheme is awesome and in my opinion, flows very naturally. I think that is a hard thing to achieve when writing rhymed poetry, because a lot of people just use whatever word they can to make it rhyme, which often comes out as very cliche and/or rather non-sensical. But here, I think it seems you are able to use it in a manner where technique infuses naturally with your narrative. I genuinely really enjoyed reading this!