Relationships kill, slowly.

I've never known or seen a relationship where the male wasn't subsumed by the female. I have tried to be the domocile male but too much of me has to die in order to make it work. It feels like a good idea at the time, especially the first three months, because so much love and sex is there, and openess, and amazement, and interest...all the good stuff. But there's just something about living with each other that destroys the magic, little by little, every day.

No relationship lasts forever, I know. But I wonder now whether the pain of loss makes the joy worth it. I honestly don't think it does. Couples fall all too easily into roles, with extended family, and endless dinners with friends, cementing these roles. And all the sponteneity slips slowly away.

And then perhaps there's children. Women with an illusory sense of urgency that children will make them complete, trying every means possible to bring this urgency to the man in their lives, and then having to give their total attention over to a child, losing their vivacity overnight and leaving the man in their life subconsciously cheated out of the woman he fell in love with, as her attention must now be necessarily divided.

Now I seem to crave adventure. After having seen love for the illusion I suspect it is, especially in terms described by artistic yet sentimentalising men and women before me, perhaps out of a sense of wishful yearning and lonliness, I wish now to have the reality of a man and a woman. No longer seeking out half of me to fill the void. No longer believing in a 'soulmate'...as though there was, is, or ever could be such a thing.

maybe the women wont make you feel that they want children at that time but deep down it's really what they want. cause that child would make them brek free from you while having you inside of them. women are creepy, don't mess with them unless u really intend so

I've been with my wife for a year now, dating for 4, and that seems very true. Though she is far more organized and seemingly smarter than I am. I often wonder if this is common with other relationships.
The two of us are very synergistic. We think differently, tackle problems from different perspectives and look for different solutions to the same problem.
You can say the male is 'subsumed' but that's just saying that the two aren't in a partnership. Were together to benefit from each other.
We play WoW together, I must say having something we do together most certainly helps in the relationship.

I totally agree Ophion Roth. Because when you are in a relationship, you do have to submit to the other persons unsharp lifestyle. In my relationship, this is what I HAVE to do but I'm not. I'm a guy who thinks on his feet and I believe in quick thinking. Most women who love so very much seem to not be able to do that well enough. It's like they put all their hope, talent, and worth in the pot of love and use it to get everything they desire in life and that's not fair. I believe life is balance. Being able to have a sense of balance for everyone and everything to the point that no one feels pressured.

'soulmate' is something Hollywood sold you and you took it line, hook and sinker.

The sexual, romantic and exciting passion that was in the relationship will always die out. Anyway who says anything to the contrary to this is lying to you or one's self.

Probably this is why men have a secondary passion in their life to fill in when the passion for his wife diminishes. For most men it involves being a workaholic and zoning out of reality by watching sports on TV.

For the real men, the passion doesn't end when he marries. He always has a mistress to enjoy on the side which actually makes his marriage better. But then I'm talking about real men, not the popular putz who has been brainwashed to a feminine state of confinement--oops, i mean commitment--to a one woman his entire life.

That's like sticking to eating only one fruit your entire life because a woman and instutions like marriage dictated it to you.