I Hate Women - Page 2

You are your own problem, no one else can give you happiness.

They are their own problem, for the same rule applies.

Your expectations of them, and yourself, will cause dissappointment for both of you, and vice versa.

While either of you suffer from insecurities, these problems will occur.

Insecurities take time and healing and open hearted love to overcome, or at the very least to get control of, so that they do not control you.

You will probably say you don't have insecurities or some such nonsense, in which case, I would have to tell you to try talking on an alien forum because you wouldn't be human.

If you are getting continually treated like a jerk, and you are continually thinking you are not the problem, then you are definitely the problem.

If you are continually asking for advice or feedback as to why this is happenning, and you keep getting told that you are the problem, its because you are the problem.

Yes, these women play their part and have their own problems that they take out on you, but you are your own problem, and you probably do your part to cause strife in all relationships as well, it takes two to tango.

I still don't know if you can see your blatant hypocricy on the point of acknowledging women's cycles of seeking abusive relationships while denying that you are doing the same thing, you are in those relationships too, and you sought them.

They seek you for the same reason, because you let them abuse you, and you probably abuse them right back, in one way or another.

Like denial driven hypocritical self righteousness, perhaps you're passive aggressive, you are most definitely stuck in some form of denial, some of the worst I've ever seen actually.

The very reason you are getting responses you don't care for, except from those willing to get straight to the roots first like Decius, is because you are spreading, and therefore generating, ignorant hate.

Probably just like your relationships.

What more of us would bother telling you, if you were just willing to take your medicine and face up to reality, is that even you don't deserve sufferring.

But if you wish it upon others, you will receive it.

That at a base level, like everyone else you are eternal perfection made of love and deserving of love.

But your fearful ego has created layers of hateful spite that have willed a cycle of hateful spite in your life.

Just because you were happier before, does not mean you weren't weak and fearful of your insecurities, trained to react to them as negatively or as humorously as most of us do untill we truly tackle such issues.

I'm no where near perfect on that journey of soothing my pains, but I'm 300 times better than I used to be.

You need to stop asking questions if you don't want answers.

Its time you stop listening to the words you have become dependent upon that protect you from seeing who you really are, and perhaps listen to some from those who see who you are being.

Because who you are being isn't who you are, it is the person you are being that is keeping you from being yourself.

Because if you feel conflicted, if you feel you are living in some other emotional state than you believe you should or deserve, than you are, and you are causing it.

Women can't make you hurt, they can point out things that you are sufferring over already.

They can live their lives around you and you can choose to feel hurt by their actions, likely because you have expectations and demands upon them.

Likewise, they cannot make you happy, you can be happy and share it with others, but they cannot make you happy.

I don't know just how far down you will drag yourself before you are ready to look at yourself in the mirror again, some people need to be broken and hit bottom first, at least once.

But these journeys take time and I wish you the best.

But I will repeat, as long as you keep pointing the finger at everyone but you, everyone will treat you as they do.

You can't be perfect and point out others imperfections and expect them to love you, especially when you are not being perfect and everyone but you knows it.

Iron, spoken like someone who knows what he is talking about.

Sorry, but I don't buy it. If I see a woman, smile, and say, "Hello," and she replies with, "Get lost, you freaking loser asshole!" then how am I the one at fault? And yes, that happens to me daily.

ok two things decius... i kinda agree wit ya 'bout what you say......

second thing, what does "elitism" mean????

haha i have got a bad volcabulary sometimes

p.s why do i only get one post a day?????!!!!

Ok thank you for your replies. Ok, let me try to engage and not just vent. What frightens me is that I will never meet a woman who is not like that, and thus I will go the rest of my life with no love, no human contact, no sex, etc. That is a fate worse than death to me. What if there really are no women out there who would love mr for who I really am inside, inside of the defensive anger that I have used to build a wall around myself? I think what I really feel is fear and frustration, and I think my anger is only a bi-product of these.

No one can love you more freely and wholly than you can love yourself. Similarly, no one can know you more wholly and completely than you can know yourself.

If you can completely embrace this notion, you may eventually be able to gather the strength to show others a part of who you really are. And that my friend, is the only way to really experience love.

No, I am not gay, and no, I am not asking for someone to "love me more than I love myself." You know what I am saying: I want a WOMAN to love me, period. Please, less esoteric philosophy and more pragmatism.

It is not esoteric philosophy. It is highly pragmatic, though I apologize if my wording indicated otherwise.

When a person knows and loves themselves and is conscious of the knowledge and love they have for themselves, they do not create walls or emotional barriers. I was simply trying to help you see this facet of yourself for what it really is and what it may be doing to you. You aren't going to find a healthy relationship in your current state, unless by pure accident.

And if you want really pragmatic: Yes you've been hurt. Yes your anger is justified. If you wish to move forward, you must start by forgiving yourself and those who hurt you and rid yourself of all guilt and anger. And read Decius' first post a few more times.

Why don't we try to get a little more insight into this situation. Give us more details. You only gave us your point of veiw instead of giving us details. How about...

Do you think you are attractive(to others and yourself)?

How many times have you been married/ingaged/coupled?

What do you think might be causing women to dislike you? You have to have thought somewhere along the path of fun guy to cynical guy what you could be doing wrong.

And so on. Just anything you feel the need to share.

Come on man, details!

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Acknowledging that women are more aggressive than men from a visual point of view in society is not biased in the least - women themselves will tell you this.

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I don't even know what you mean by a visual perspective.

I'm more familiar with men visually attempting to flaunt agressiveness, both against men and in pursuit of women.

Women tend to visualize either a sense of superiority or a superoir humility through sensitivity, if they can't out beautify the "compitition".

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I really think you are overly aggressive towards his stance because you yourself have fought this same "fight" and now perceive that it was your fault for being weak and that the answer is to not be self-abusive.

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There is very likely a relatable context to my posistion. And that is why I probably know what I'm talking about.

However, my aggressiveness toward his posistion is primarily based on his aggressive denial ridden hypocricy that results in his spewing of ingorant hatred.

Its understandable to a degree, but if he wanted to truly find answers, he would shut the fuck up and listen to the cacaphony of repeated points about his obvious fault in the cause of his repetitive cycle of abuse, both seeking and receiving, as well as giving.

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Often when we remedy something in ourselves, or find some solution to an outside threat we find it easier to take the blame ourselves rather than acknowledge that we were actually genuinely weakened by the outside world.

You seem to really be against that point. I am not.

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No, these points are not mutually exclusive or in conflict.

I can be weakened and at blame.

An outside force is independent of me, how I stand up to it is all me.

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women are certainly a real threat based on the conditioning they receive on a daily basis from the world around them

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so are men

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Women are attacked, insulted, abused, and absolutely illogical expectations are placed upon them

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so are men

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This will create a reflection and they will become very aggressive and equally submissive to the men they perceive place these expectations on them.

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and vice versa

because...

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The world is a real threat a lot of the time

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which affects both sexes equally.

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The more angry you are, generally, the less you are attempting to victimize himself.

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Not true.

Anger is the more common "masculine" avenue of seeking sympathy.

If you are a woman you show how your sufferring is justified through your weakness, pain, and, tears.

A "man" shows sufferring, worthy of "unsought" sympathy, through self righteous vengence, often through violence.

Be it physical acts or words.

A manly man doesn't show weakness or emotion, unless that emotion is anger or some other form of dominance over himself or others.

Its the difference between the covert dominance of a woman and the overt of a man.

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I might be more prone to conclude that he is pursuing bad relationships but the fact that he came here only with anger, and as you pointed out, his nickname, he was looking for vent not gain sympathy.

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No, he was either looking for sympathetic agreement, or a gay lover.

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Anger is always childish because we don't know what to do with it. You're calling him childish for losing it. That's a reflection upon yourself - you think you were childish when you got angry for the same things.

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This is quite true.

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Your comments about my orignal post being somewhat irrelevant is probably true

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But I didn't do that, quite the opposite actually.

I said you got to the root of his issues, bypassing his fault in his continued cyclic nature to continue it.

Except for your addressing his anger and his missunderstanding of his incorrectness in directing all blame towards women rather than people.

But when you argue against my posistion, you simply exclude his part, and the fact that he is one of these people you make the point of being part of the problem.

Therefore, arguing against yourself. Like I said, we are in agreement more than you realize, it would seem.

None of which made your post irrelevant, just focused on a certain points, not all.

More accurately, incomplete rather than irrelevant.

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But even in doing so I sympathize - it isn't easy to overcome the overwhelming desire to abuse, control, and abuse oneself in the exchange in relationships.

You have to engage in some of the information being tossed around, otherwise you're just venting a frustration, looking for comraderie with other men, and trying to figure out a way to abuse the women back rather than overcome the whole cycle.

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Indeed, our agreement is based upon his actions, and he has shown that he doesn't want to hear anything to do with him having to take any personal responsibility his part in his own life's outcomes.

Therefore, he just wanted sympathy.

As evidenced here...

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Sorry, but I don't buy it

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and here...

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fI really do not think I am the problem

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and here...

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Women are the wrong ones, not me

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and here...

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that is the best answer I have ever gotten. Instead of blaming me

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If I see a woman, smile, and say, "Hello," and she replies with, "Get lost, you freaking loser asshole!" then how am I the one at fault?

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There are a lot of potential reasons as to why this could be your fault, and some that would even not be your fault.

If she senses your fear, insecurity, and or resulting aggressive or hateful nature, then bingo.

These combined concepts are the very definition of both "loser" and "asshole".

No rocket science needed to figure that out.

The second you made your first post, what did I think of you, potential loser asshole.

This does not mean that you are doomed to endless failure, unless you don't acknowledge and correct your own defensive behavior and listen to what others are telling you.

What have you got to lose, your way sure isn't working.

Thankfully you took the first step here...

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Ok thank you for your replies. Ok, let me try to engage and not just vent. What frightens me is that I will never meet a woman who is not like that, and thus I will go the rest of my life with no love, no human contact, no sex, etc. That is a fate worse than death to me. What if there really are no women out there who would love mr for who I really am inside, inside of the defensive anger that I have used to build a wall around myself? I think what I really feel is fear and frustration, and I think my anger is only a bi-product of these.

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Now, what I, decius, and wyote, and indeed others have been telling or alluding to is...

One, you need to love yourself for who you are first, before anyone else will ever have a chance to.

Two, you need to understand that women suffer that same fear and the built up protective walls as well as the lack of self love and appreciation that you do.

Three, therefore, you need to love them for who they are, beneath their walls, and in understanding of why their walls are there, just like yours. Not in hate of them for having their defenses.

That is if you ever hope them to love you in such a manner as you desire.

I suggest you take a crash course in the law of attraction and power of intention and the basic fundamentals of insecurities and defensiveness if you wish to understand your cycles and the way out of them.

Ask some of the oldest wisest people you know, trust, and respect these questions, then listen, don't ignore or deny, take their words to heart and listen.

Because if you can't listen to us, then you will have to seek help elsewhere, because our posistions aren't likely to change, whether you like them or not.

Unless we can be proven wrong.

Just know that we are here for you if you wish to truly teach and learn, and even vent.

I appreciate it, but I just cannot accept that somehow I am responsible for the evil actions of others (women). What if THEY really are the villains? Why can't you at least allow for that possibility?

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I just cannot accept that somehow I am responsible for the evil actions of others (women). What if THEY really are the villains? Why can't you at least allow for that possibility?

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Another point you will one day have to face is the paradox of reality.

You are both right and wrong in your feelings and conclusions on this matter.

It seems confusing and unexplained to you by us because you are missing some of what was said to you and mixing points.

First, their actions are not your blame, though you can have influence on them.

Their reactions to you have much more to do with you.

Your statements...

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If I see a woman, smile, and say, "Hello," and she replies with, "Get lost, you freaking loser asshole!" then how am I the one at fault? And yes, that happens to me daily

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who ha sbeen mistreated, abused, rejected, mocked, scorned, and hurt terrible by women all of his life...

...the abuse and misery and heartache I have suffered at the hands of women! And what gets me is that they LOVE torturing me like this.

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Are so devoid of detail and allow for so much possibility that your questions can't ever be fully answered.

There are so many scenarios available, again, some will be no fault of yours, but many will, and all pain you suffer will be your doing.

The sufferring point is the important one as it causes the cycle.

It is the point addressed about you being a strong person which is based on your perception of yourself, your ability to love yourself, AND to be a good person.

These are separate concepts that are getting mixed and causing confusion.

There are no evil actions taking place. This is a notion that jading you and your understanding.

There are weak, insecure, and scared people acting and reacting defensively and offensively.

There are people who are wanting and trying to be good people but are continually self destructing by giving into fears.

Fears that manifest as greed, hate, deception, etc.

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What if THEY really are the villains? Why can't you at least allow for that possibility?

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Because there is no villain here.



Something you will have to face is that you don't, can't, and never will own a woman.

Nor can you realistically expect or demand eternal sole commitment to you.

This is the flawed thinking of many who suffer relationship issues.

This is especially the case when you are obviously undeserving of any commitment while in the midst of your current destructive internal conflict that is resulting in fear based anger.

That is no way to be in a relationship.

And you can't expect them to put up with or fix you.

Again, your statements and posistions are so vague and vast that I could go on for hours giving hypotheticals and showing how your relationships crumble because of you, though not you alone.

Which was never argued.

One reason why you keep getting stuck on understanding my and our posistions here is that you keep assuming that when I say your incurred "abuse" is your fault, you think I am leaving out their part, I'm not.

Their part is next to irrelevant.

Its your part that matters for your growth and understanding of why these things occur.

Understanding their part will help you sure, but ultimately you will find that their part mirrors your own in all ways that matter.

So it still comes down to you.

Why they do what they do is irrelevant to why it hurts you and why you keep getting in those situations.

Understanding these things will be your first step to breaking the cycle.

So like Decius said, if you wish to grow and break this cycle, you need to stop hating and start understanding.

And like we all say, you need to be a better person, regardless of their actions, don't hate them for their weakness, be strong for them and a good example.

Even if that means standing up to them and not giving into your desire to coddle them for your own benefit through their "rewards" for appeasing them instead of actually helping them.

Feel free to elaborate or express agreement or disagreement and any desires for further introspective discussion.

These conversations help me as well by serving as reminders and clarifiers, as we all suffer relapse in our quests for truth and happiness.

I'll have to admit that there was a time when I thought that women were the bane of my existence, experiencing much of the cruelty and confusion you, IHW, may have endured from women. I realize now that I was putting to much into my relationships from women, expecting them to know and understand my feelings, expecting them to know what hurts me and what makes me happy. But it seems to me that women are just as ignorant about the inner workings of a man (beyond our basic natural instincts) as men are of the complex web of the female psyche. Right now I'm more inclined to enjoy new relationships with women as a learning experience, as well as guiding and training sessions without allowing myself to get too hurt emotionally when they seem to behave in ways that are undesirable to me. I simply become extremely curious in a sort of amusing way about why they behave the way they do and step back for a better and bigger understanding of what I'm dealing with. if what i finally discover is something I don't want to deal with I find another woman to explore. maybe someday I'll find one that will "work" for me. Of course, I think I've been experimenting with women way too young for me. It's not exactly by choice, though. I work around younger women, I look somewhat younger than I am and they seem to like me for some reason. Oh, well.

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Of course, I think I've been experimenting with women way too young for me. It's not exactly by choice, though. I work around younger women, I look somewhat younger than I am and they seem to like me for some reason. Oh, well.

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If it ain't broke don't fix it.

IM SORRY THAT U FEEL WOMEN ARE BAD AND THAT NONE US ARE GOOD BUT IF YOU NEVER GET OVER THE PAST YOU WILL NEVER FIND WHAT U ARE LOOKING 4