Reciprocation

Reciprocation 'give and take'

One of the most widespread and most basic norm of human culture is embodies in the rule for reciprocation. This rule requires one person to repay, in kind, what another has provided.

I was think this rule is dangerous you are able to manipulate another with them out them even realizing. An example of this was when I decided to cover 10 min if a shifter fro a fellow associate at work. The next week I could not work a 9 hour shift and asked that same associate. Even though they where already working a 6 hour shift they said they would pick up mine.

I did not even realize it but I was using the rules of Reciprocation as a form of manipulation.

If you didnt relise what you were doing, how were you manipulating them?

Can one not be manipulative without intent?

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Did you know he/she had a 6 hour shift and ask them anyways? If you didn't then when you found out, what was your reaction?

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Now this is key, your response will dictate if you were taking advantage of the situation.

Please awnser truthfully....

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Did you know he/she had a 6 hour shift and ask them anyways? If you didn't then when you found out, what was your reaction?

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I did know they were already working, but did not realize it was six hour shift I thought this associate had a relatively short shift of an hour or two.

I thought about this rule of reciprocation in terms of our society. In today society we are obligated to return a favor or gesture and to not do so is culturally unacceptable. This sense of future obligation within the rule makes it possible to make future relationships, transactions, and exchanges which in turn will be beneficial to society.

So am I obligated to return the favor of my associate? Should I continue the cycle and feel indebt?

Obligation is irrelevant, unless you promised you would cover for them. I prefer to go with something more like:
'There is only choice and the full, clear recognition of a principle obscured by the notion of 'duty''

If you want to reciprocate, do so. That coworker didn't cover your shift without knowing that they were covering for you, and that they may or may not have the favor returned. If you must hold to some "duty", be true to the duty that's your word. Stand behind what you say you will do, not behind some purported social obligation.

I like this situation because depending on your relation to your co-worker would define the action.

It seems like taking hours and helping each other out when you need it is a very good way to exercise this reciprocation.

reminds me of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine"



the only problem I see when most people do favors for another, is that they are expecting that to be returned. If you can keep it in your mind to not expect something in return, more times than not the person will remember what you did for them and help you any way they can.

there may be an unwritten understanding that if you help someone in need with a sense of selflessness, more times than not, you'll have a helping hand when you need it.

you're only stuck in a cycle when you both start to believe you have to take turns to help each other and keep track of each others good deeds.


I say, you should keep helping him, but at YOUR convenience- and your co-worker should do the same.

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there may be an unwritten understanding that if you help someone in need with a sense of selflessness, more times than not, you'll have a helping hand when you need it.

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Selflessness - Can you really do something for someone without thinking of yourself? I mean, you have to think how it will affect you, or your schedule... And then if you put all that aside, you still obtain a feeling or moral high value because you've done something nice for someone else.

There is actually another important factor to think about in this situation: the attitude of the co-worker. In order to take advantage of someone that person must be an unwilling tool, used, if you will. If, on the other hand, the person would have helped out willingly even if they had not asked you first then even if you did what you did deliberately, it still would not constitute manipulation because the choice was always the co-workers. Intent on your part is only one factor in this scenario and manipulation may not have come into play at all.

That which you really possess cannot be taken away from you. You can only give it(if you want),but nobody can take it away. That which you don't possess,and by which you are possessed,you can never give-it can only be stolen or taken away,robbed.

That is the beauty of a favour. To be honest, how many of us do favours without expecting reciprocation? Personally speaking, if that favour does not inconvenience me too much, I don't mind doing it 'for free'. But right now, do we speak of favours as a kind of exchange? Then where is the spirit of helping, as favours were intended to portray? Are 'favours' a currency to be traded or bartered?

If we were to calculate our gains and losses even in favours, then it is quite sad. If that colleague got miffed at you, then you could always offer yet another return favour, (Because in this case the colleague calculates 'favour points' and it is only right to play along)

If that colleague doesn't, then I think he doesn't see it as a manipulation. It truly would be a 'favour' then. Loosen up, people are nice. After all, we're the only species capable of it.

In our society, it is looked down upon to not return a favor we are taught as infants to not take with out giving back. If I don't reciprocate I'm going against my moralities of gratitude, decency, responsibility, fairness, equality, and connection.

In my mind these make of the establishment of obligation and going against them is fundamentally wrong am I not?

I agree with the above.
But what I questioned was the intention when you do a favour for someone.

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But what I questioned was the intention when you do a favour for someone.

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The intentions when doing a favor is usually out of kindness or compassion. Sometime it is even unintentional, but I saying if you know how to manipulate the rule of Reciprocation you have ability to manipulate your fellow man.

Yes, but I was telling the thread starter that his/her colleague may not be the manipulative calculating type.
If we do a favour out of kindness or compassion, I highly doubt that the same person would manipulate his fellow man with it.
Reciprocating comes from thankfulness, rarely from obligations to live up to an expectation.