boyfriends that lie

ive posted this other places but i was engaged a few months ago. i understand that girls are generally more emotional than men are but why why why do guys cheat and then feel its ok not to tell you? is it so hard for a guy to say hun, we need time apart? i just will never get it. why dont guys break up with girls if theyre not ready to settle down?

if it was an acsident,the guy will try to spare your feelings,or he is trying to think of a way to tell you.if he did it without regret,then he is a man whore and should be castrated.

girls do it too

ew i know i did it too with my last bf. ( cheated) i was madly in love but i think part if it... or maybe most of it is that youre young and you need to experience many things b4 you can be satisfied with settling down and be cool with just that one person out of million for the rest of your life.

but what is a guys thinking process thats it ok to play a girl like that and hurt some1 u love?

Saying you are young and need to experience cheating makes no sense whatsoever. Cheating is wrong no matter the age and everyone knows this.

Why have you made this thread? You know the answer because it's within yourself. You cheated. If you honestly don't know why, then you either don't want to face your own reasoning or you are simply a crazy hypocrite.

Seeing as you are so judgmental of others for doing what you yourself have done, I'm guessing you must hate yourself quite a bit.

Men and women both cheat because they are not fully satisfied with themselves as individuals. Plus they are lazy so they always take the easy way out.

You just need to ask yourself these same questions in order to find the answers you are looking for.

uhm no i dont hate myself and i feel like if i didnt cheat in my last relationship i would have been more curious to in this one. maybe not for YOU wyote but i did need to cheat to realize the effects and how much it hurts and to kill my curiousity.
posting that i hate myself cause of this is ridiculous. im awesome.
im judgemental because i would never cheat on my fiance. i cheated on a boy who i was dating for 4 months and it wasnt serious at all... oh and i was only 17.

Alright, I wont assume I know anything about your circumstances. IF you cheated entirely out of curiosity's sake and nothing else, then hate is not the appropriate word here. Still, cheating is an act which is intended to harm another individual. You admit to cheating. You admit to harming another individual. Harming a person for the sake of curiosity means one of two things I think:

1. You do not respect other people's feelings, nor your own.
2. You do not properly think about consequences to your actions.

Lets hope you are(or were at the time) a number 2. Since you keep pressing the age and inexperience, I'm guessing 2 fits. Incidentally, these two issues are precisely why seemingly intelligent people cheat. I think it's usually a little of both of these in play when a person cheats though.

I mean you no disrespect pumpkinlove, I just feel very deeply within me that cheating is similar to mental rape. Most people don't appear to mind it these days though. Being mentally raped I mean.

So to get back to your first post. You say you would never ever cheat on a fiance. Perhaps in another person's mind they would never ever cheat on a wife/husband. And in another's it's more about number of months or years together rather then a piece of paper. It's impossible to say where people's lines of acceptability are if they all make them so equivocal. Which is why cheating under any circumstance is unacceptable... or should be anyway.

It is the mans animal instinct to try and have sex with as many women as he possibly can. Before the invention of birth control and abortion a man that had sex with more women would have more offspring which would mean they would have a better chance of their offspring surviving because there was more of them. So through natural selection it is in mens DNA to try and have sex with as many women as he possibly can

As well women, who potentially can have only so many children, would benefit from having a man around that would help her out. This would increase the well being of her children in that the man would bring resources to help out. Through natural selection women who choose one dependent mate would be naturally selected.

So women instinctively try and have one mate whereas men instinctively try and have many mates. If a man lies and cheats he can have sex with more women which is his ultimate goal. A women would get mad at this in that they are trying to pick one solid mate.

If you believe in evolution you would believe that theoretically this is probably true.

But, why do we not want to break up? Simple we can still have sex with you and her on the side ie more sex.

Can you honestly tell me that at the point you were either in the situation or decided im going to cheat you didn't think or feel it was wrong if the answer to this is yes then you're a sociopath.

I agree with wytoe and calling it mental rape is a beautiful illustration.

Why do men cheat well my personal opinion is most men are more and more emotionally challenged these days this is relative to them not really caring about the women they are with feelings they are but a possession to these cretonnes, and unless you are a cold shallow person why cheat rather just break up and fuck your lungs out then get into a relationship the person you cheat on is going to have all sorts of issues about themselves because of your self indulgent act.

Unfortunately Jacker Jones' description of why people cheat is pretty accurate.

That doesn't make it ok though. Its just the way we are as humans. Back when we had high mortality rates and needed to breed like crazy and half of our children never made it to 3 years of age it would have been a good characteristic to have.

But now we have over populated the world and we no longer need to do that any more. But we still have that "outdated DNA" or whatever you want to call it. Just like our vestigial tailbones. Useless, and a reminder of our primitive past.

It takes humans a long time to change, adapt and evolve. And sadly we are still at the phase of the men sowing their oats while the poor woman sits at home, barefoot and pregnant, lying to herself that "her man" would never cheat on her and that he means it when he says "he loves her and she's the only one for him."

I think also another complication to this dilema is we have created social norms that have made one of the most pure and beautiful acts on this planet into something it shouldn't be. Humans are very complex creatures, and as such we have created very complex and unnecessary rules for sexual conduct which only serve to hurt us in the long run.

While Jacker is correct about men needing to spread their seed and women needing a partner to help build the nest- we are not as base and low as the animals that rut in fields and paddocks.

Using that outdated philosophy is nothing but a rationalisation for a weak will and a personality that does not care about other human beings feelings.

If you did, you wouldn't cheat.

Its simple. If you want sex with someone and they want it with you- be open and up front and honest. Let them know you just want sex. No strings attached. Is that so hard?

And if you decide that you have more serous feelings for someone and want a longer more intimate relationship, define some boundaries and rules for that relationship. It may be that you will both be okay with sleeping around. (its weird, but some partners have that rule.)

But the main thing is: Do not lie or break the rules you have established. It shows you have no respect for the person you are with.

Have sex. Have a relationship. But set groundrules and stick to them to avoid PEOPLE GETTING HURT.

Yeah people should be more responsible in their relationships. However cheating will probably happen. People who have been together for like 2 or 3 years are bound to be tempted at least once. If you do cheat and you do not feel bad about it that does not make you a sociopath. It could have been a good life experience or maybe it will bring you closer to your women in that you realize how much you care about her. That she can not be replaced easily.

Honestly I think you guys are being oversensitive and insecure.

I wouldnt cheat on my girlfriend for a few reasons. One being that it is too much of a risk in that she might leave me. Another is that I am really REALLY happy with our sex life. We do it a lot and its good. Thats not to say that I love her so much I dont find other women attractive. We talk about other people we find attractive all the time. Its that I really do feel a big emotional bond after we have sex and its so powerful that it generaly turns me off to other girls. Now, if I was really really horny, which doesnt happen to much anymore because of all the sex I do have, and I wasnt afraid of Magen leaving and I didnt have the emotinal attachment, Im sure Id be more prown to cheat on her. If a partner cheats, they prolly think you wont find out and they prolly dont love you that much. Not that they dont love you, just not that much.

I have had my heartbroken by guys who cheat. I think they do not tell their girls why they cheat because just like a criminal, who would want to admit to the crimes they have committed?

the thing is, when a guy cheats, us girls must also be blamed because there must be a reason why he cheated. perhaps unconsciously we allow them to cheat on us.

let us not condemn our boyfriend/s (and exboyfriend/s) for cheating on us because partly, (whether we admit it or not), we are also to blame. Remember the saying "It takes two to tango?" ..

ayi hell no it has nothign to do w us
youre deranged

so pumpkinlove what your saying is that all women in every relationship out there completely faultless innocent and blameless when it comes to cheating?

i would not cheat on my girlfriend because
1. im not someone who needs to screw everything i see
2. i dont need anymore meaningless tag alongs in my life
3. i dont want or need more than my girlfriend
4. and what seems to be hard for most people to comprehend is that i love my girlfriend to much to hurt her in that way. i would jump from a bridge before i cheat.

i know i would not cheat on my girlfriend 1 because she is my best friend 2 she is not wroth giving up 3 i respect her and love her, 4 i could not see my self with out her. i would agree with every thing zyphon said. people just need to find love.