The waiting room effect...

You know there has always been one public location that I could never understand. The condition of your mood and those around you always seem to be a little worse once your inside the sliding doors. One of my ex-girlfriends and I used to go bowling periodically. Its a pretty boring sport overall but it was low key, close to home, inexpensive and the place was ours. Everyone there knew us and we knew it was somewhere that we could escape to and enjoy each others company. We usually spent the entire night laughing, this place brought us closer each time we went. On one particular night however I had a chance to visit the place I was talking of before. After we finished bowling we got in my car and drove to her home. It was a cold night, her parents were asleep and I was sleeping over. We both couldn't wait to get under the warm covers and watch a movie I can't remember the name of because I most likely fell asleep before it ended. I woke up in the morning to a frantic girlfriend with a swollen face. She had an allergic reaction to something last night that cause her entire face and throat to swell up. She was so upset, I felt terrible about what happened and after suggesting we drive to the hospitals emergency room I was spinning circles in my mind trying to figure out what caused this. She was too upset to talk and tried to sleep so the car ride was quiet and awkward. When we arrived at the hospital there we no parking spots of course so we had to drive around. It was about five in the morning at this point and somehow there were only a handful of parking spots available. Unreal. When I finally found a legal place to park we got out of the car and walked through those sliding doors. This is about the time I wanted to turn around and leave. If I had been there by myself I would have turned around and walked out upon entering. The room smelled of urine and commercial cleaners. Everyone there had their eyes on the floor and aside from the little scrolling letters on the vending machines the TV screen was the only other motion in the room. The TV may as well have been off, it was entertaining no one but itself. This was the strangest aspect of the waiting room to me. Lets be honest if you put a TV somewhere people will watch it. Store windows, dunking donuts, the end of your shopping cart. The people here were just stiff. All braced for the worst, not one positive emotion in the place. I found myself wondering what each individual was there for but only when the nurse comes through the single white door does anyone even look up. Its was like sitting in a room of manikins.

Just take the scenery for example: Cold, hard plastic chairs. Bleak neutral walls. TV playing nothing interesting at a ridiculous volume level. Nothing to read but magazines about disease and injury. Doors leading to big white highways that no one wants to travel on. How could anyone have even a breath of confidence or comfort? A seating arrangement that immediately dulls your senses when you see them. Placed together like a maze meant to confuse and unarm you so your not weary of what comes next.


Walk into a shopping mall and you see enchanting flowers, attractive lighting, wonderful scents and colors. How about a restaurant? Fireplace with a nice comfortable seating arrangement. Even a bank has a few chairs, pleasant decor and open space. Positive feeling and thoughts are projected because when your happy you spend more. Doesn't this same thought process happen at hospitals? If you feel positive your going to recover faster I would think right? There are highly respected and world renowned psychotherapist who have written books that teach you to be in a positive state of mind before your trip to the hospital so you heal faster.


Why are you immediately deflated of all happiness when you enter a hospital?


Why isn't there someone there waiting to greet you? I can go to walmart and buy a pack of gum for thirty cents and I'm sure I'll get a hello from some greeter after walking through the entrance. Yet I go to a hospital and between myself and the insurance company spend a months worth of rent without even a greeting. Its funny how hard people try to get your money when their service is not a necessity but when its something you need to live healthy you have to plan and coordinate to obtain it. Your inconvenience.


We sat there for almost an hour before she was taken through the white door. She went in and I followed behind a nurse who walked before us only turning her head enough for me to see the corner of her right eye as she as she attempted a generic conversation. The other side of that door did not bring any better news. There was a spider web of people walking with quick pace through the halls and circling the patients in the rooms. The walls remained neutral and boring. Everything in each room was exactly the same shade of off white. There was a constant mess of noise over the speaker system that I never saw anyone respond to let alone acknowledge.


She was given a couple of injections of some hormone we couldn't say the name of ( I turned away to prevent passing out) and after analyzing her pulse and other vital signs we waited patiently for the swelling to go down. Sitting in this room was difficult. Complete sensory deprivation. No smells, no sights besides the TV once again entertaining its self although this time only because it was tilted at such a ridiculous angle that no one could view it. I would have given anything to see what was on that screen at that moment. Everything around me was sterile and cold. Within five minutes I was pacing. In the four square feet of available floor space to walk I could see just hardly into the area poorly sectioned off via a bland sheet hanging from the ceiling. I wanted nothing more at that moment but for the swelling on her face to go down. It felt like the walls were closing in on me and I have never felt claustrophobic before then. When the nurse was satisfied with the regression of her swelling she wrote a prescription and sent us on our way. My stride was embarrassing I was taking two for everyone one of hers. By the time we reached the halfway mark I was piratically dragging her with me. Through the white door, the miserable waiting room, and the delayed sliding doors. It never made sense to me why they would have two sets of doors for you to pass through before entering the hospital. It would make sense if they opened simultaneously but I just can't see the need for a vestibule before the entrance of the emergency room. When I finally reached the oxygen rich air of the cold Saturday morning I was overcome with relief. The anxiety rolling off the small of my back sent a chill up my spine as we walked to the car. I can't remember another place I wanted to leave so badly.


Maybe waiting rooms are so bad so that you are actually motivated to live your life healthy in order to prevent going there often. Waiting in such a stagnant place is a form of punishment for getting sick. How about the dog collars that give the animal an electric pulse when they venture into an area they shouldn't? Both have the same conclusion. The dog won't want to go in the off limits area and you won't want to have to go to the hospital. Its amazing how the secretaries at the windows of the hospitals of the world are able to continue day after day. Imagine that as your job...all the pain and horror than comes before you each day with pain that you can do nothing for except prolong by telling them to fill out forms and wait. Makes our jobs look a little less dreary i suppose...

You have to consider the people that will be in the waiting room. Do you really want to buy nice furniture and such when people will be bleeding and puking on it? You need something that will clean up easily, thus the pastic or vinyl chairs and tile floors. You can't have real flowers due to patients with allergies. As for the TV, what do you expect them to show? You aren't going to please everybody no matter what you have on TV. And if you go in the middle of the night, there isn't much worth watching on TV anyway.

A greeter? What would they say? Greeter: "Hi! How are you today?" Me: "Not good...I'm at the damn hospital".

As for magazines, maybe they don't have better ones because people would keep stealing them. No one is going to steal the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Maybe you should bring a book or a laptop the next time you go to the hospital to keep yourself entertained.