Selflessness vs. Selfishness

It has always upset me for some reason when I hear or read about people who are selfless, and they have achieved happiness and utter gratification. But I have tried to do this, and as selfless as I tried to be I became less satisfied with everything I did and I felt a feeling of despair towards everything.

Why must I be selfless? Why is it so generally accepted to make everyone happy and to forget yourself in all situations? Why is it so wrong to think of only yourself?

When it comes down to it, I believe the most valuable trait one can possess is the knowledge of one's self.

Why is it looked down upon when someone seeks pleasures in order to complete their inner fulfillment?

What is happiness without self-gratification?

Thereupon, I would like to know:
Is it more beneficial to be a selfless or a selfish being? What about the balance between these two?

quote:

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Is it more beneficial to be a selfless or a selfish being? What about the balance between these two?

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If you wish to believe that you're the only conscious being in this entire universe, I would suggest being selfish. If you wish to see outside of yourself for the benifit of others in some situations, then I would suggest being selfless.

In some cases, yes I would take selfish acts over selfless ones... but there really does come a time when you just know what you feel is right.

What I believe is that the very act of selflessness has its own indirect way of self gratification. Even if you're not given a cash prize or even a thank you sometimes, you know inside yourself that you helped someone else in need, before you helped yourself. There are insignificant degrees of this action, but it you look at it, they still count.

I don't think it's possible to do a selfless act unless you yourself are fulfilled.

Extreme Selflessness is in my opinion higly self distructive, people dont take what they deserve, giving it over to undeserving ungrateful fools. I believe that we as human beings need to be both selfish and selfless dependant on the situation, if you become too selfish you may lose people, if you become too selfless you may not get what you deserve because you allowed others to take it. I, give up alot of what i want because of the happiness of other individuals, i do it as a sacrifice for all they have done for me, but i hate it inside, i wish i could just break free, not feel guilty and just do whatever makes me happy. Am i not selfless if i do it grudgingly?

I guess we dont live in a world where we can be centre of the universe and do everything for ourselves, i understand bantam's frustration.
I know that i have been taught, coming from a religious backround, to always do for people, live for people, it will give you peace and satisfaction, but i didnt feel it. I felt used and abused at the end of the day.

Also, society looks down upon selflessness,because its selfish.

In my view -

The Selfish are more trustworthy overall...

If someone is likely to sacrifice themselves they are possibly capable of rationalizing the sacrifice of another... maybe even against their will...

In contrast the Selfish person will preserve themselves so if our goals are linked in some way then my weaknesses are less likely to be compounded if we compliment one another...

This is probably why on some sub-conscious level women tend to choose men who appear to be self centered in their affection...

They will more likely be more successful... less timid more aggressive and at the head of the "table" of life...

Less likely to finish last... Not that "we" are incapable of poems or tender moments... just that these moments are placed in perspective... proper perspective and not blown out of proportion...

Bleeding hearts... don't support life

Circulation does... which implies organization... order and direction... leadership goal orientation...

Mousey and weak individuals are not selfless... or selfish... they hide behind such titles... they are in neither catagory...

The weak are the weak and hide everywhere under noble principles...

There is a time for cooperation... but that supports common goals which can also be seen as selfish...

Profit from one's losses... gain when you contribute... that's a principle of success..

One step backward for 2 steps forward.... whenever possible...

It's important to have a cause of some kind though... or you may find your "horse" hitched to anybody's wagon....

Perhaps, you might find my post as a interesting perspective on selflessness.

It is more socially accepted to be selfless because the majority of the world is selfish, we want to make ourselves happy and we want others to make us happy. But think about it, not very many so-called "selfless" people are true to the exact meaning of the word:

Selflessness:
the act of sacrificing ones own interest for the greater good.

Most acts of so-called "selflessness" are performed in the belief that one will obtain a sense of accomplishment, or will become honored or remembered. All of which are done for self gratification, otherwise known as being selfish. Therefore no one is truely able to be selfless, seeing as it can always be re-amounted to selfishness.

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ylliB

G.I. Gurdjieff said, "It is better to be selfish, than never to be just". For me it asks, who is it that is seeking to be selfless. Most of us know what is said of the "Road to hell" and how it is paved with good intentions. It also tells me that there is a territory of self with many places undiscovered. How then can we be said to be selfless and giving over any self interest? How can we truly know what is needed in all circumstances? Surely we must at times act. Hopefully we will also reflect and learn as we go.

In what context would you say Gurdjieff is using the word selfish?

And, remember, Gurdjieff said "temporarily selfish"--and he was speaking of a path to consciousness whereby one must learn to become selfish about focusing on the self first before the needs of others. Once consciousness is achieved, however, everything changes. And he was not speaking of giving in to all sorts of physical desires and needs. These things are to be "worked on," giving in and denying, and vice versa, in order to observe the inner workings of your psyche. Gurdjieff's teachings are very complex and purposeful.

being Selfless does not mean making everyone else happy. it means doing what is best for them. An example is taking a bologna edge strip piece thing (you guys know what im talking about) out of a childs mouth. The easiest way i find to do this, is by watching people/person(s) and discovering what it is they are trying to do. And then aiding them in it. There are both Positive selfless acts. and Negative selfless acts. So a selfless act can not be summed up as either just positive or negative. I've done "selfless" things. I sacrificed much...which in my eyes was noble. But it wasnt right. It niether benefited them or me. Perhaps me in that it became a learning experience. But It was something i did to benefit my ego i later found out. Be sure to Check your motive. and dont be afraid to be honest with yourself. And dont be scared to be genuine. It is better to be genuinely selfish, than deceptively selfless. dont let selfish or selfless be your aim. But rather the truth. And what is best for everyone.

To be selfless is not to be a vegetable, or a savior,just egoless.Its to understand that all sins are a product of your ego. And that everyone is innocent just as you are. To be selfish is to see only the ego and judge all depending on what is for your egos own best interest.

Selfishness is a nessary to a point inorder to act selfless when one has there selfish needs satified then one can do things that will benifit soicty.

Acts that are selfless arn't really selfless either when i do somthing like smile at children while walking down the street or pick up somthing for someone although i know it's only a small deed in and of its self it was selfless.

I do this in hopes i guess that, that person will do somthing for somone and maybe one day the deed will return its self. I guess selfness is my persnal attempt at karma sort of.

People do what they choose, and choose what they want. So doesn't that choice make all actions selfish by the definition selfish is holding one's self-interest as the standard for decision making; Regard for oneself above others' well-being.