Fluid Karma

Look, green you dream...
Blue... in an hour you feel new.
And you can forget about mellow yellow and agent orange
Cause hey, I'm giving you blood red.
Do you bleed?
I said, DO YOU BLEED?

Yea... yeah dawg

Well then you take the blood train.
You talk to god.
Without even, without even seeing him.
You hear his voice, and you see his disciples.
They appear like... angels... under a sea of black umbrellas.
Angels, who can see through time.

I believe that there are many things to discuss as to the topic and reason of your poem. It seems creative, and looking at your picture, it pertains and sticks true to your heart.

But, I do also believe you crossed the line of "cliches" that have recently become a set of laws in Modern society. Try to avoid trite and overused ideas and phrases. For lack of a better way of putting this, and no offense intended (this is only constructive criticism), it sounds like your poem is directly from one of the "My Chemical Romance" songs - although I am sure due to the fact that you have so daringly posted it upon these forums that it is an original.

In conclusion, it is a decent poem, just study some grammar and rhyme scheme perhaps to improve your poem. I'm not so sure free verse is what you're looking for here.

Colours, the twisted mind, emotion, raw love. God.