Philosophy Robbed My Love

Recently I've broken up with the only girl I'll ever have genuinely loved in my life. Admittedly, however, the break-up was somewhat one-sided.

She was one of those philosophers. I'm a Christian. I was never keen on straying into the vast fields of philosophy because I knew such behaviour had the power to manipulate people and their beliefs. And right now, it angers me to see it's done just that. Her beliefs were always very impressionable. She would spend a great deal of her time reading and posting on philosophy forums - searching for a truth that she could never obtain on her own due to a lack of faith in her own judgement. Finally after 11 months, philosophy has torn my love away from me as I'd always feared it would.

Yesterday we parked on a summer's afternoon. She raised an issue that had apparently been gnawing at her heart for quite some time. That is, our major differences and whether or not we should be together. She said she had been reading more and more theories on abortion, and all of a sudden, she seemed to believe now that one should listen to one's head, not one's heart or inner feelings. After all we've been through and everything I thought we shared, this shocked me beyond words.

Right now, all respect and admiration I ever had for her feels like it's gone up in flames. We used to talk on the beach about sticking to one's beliefs and educating the world with them out of a responsibility to ourselves and to the human race. We'd talk about our identical views on pro-life, and I could swear on my soul she was dead-set in her beliefs. This was such a wonderful support to have from someone so close, and it really did add to the trust I had placed in her over the months prior. This was someone I felt would stand by her beliefs for the rest of her days - someone whom I would share my core with until the day we died of old age. It was truly a wonderful notion. And now, to see her suddenly twisted around 180 degrees, and to see her wanting to leave me as a result, is unbearably painful and still impossible for me to fully comprehend. It angers me to realize that philosophy has effectively stripped me of the love of my life for reasons that I had always avoided it.

As I said in the beginning, the break-up was somewhat one-sided. My actions and words were fuelled by an anger towards what I knew was happening and why. Through complete lack of response to calls and messages, she has expressed a clear desire never to speak to me again. What I am to do now is a mystery. I'm overwhelmed with pain and the feeling of abandonment, and I know in my heart that I'm still in love with her. This is without a doubt going to be one of the most difficult parts of my life.

Right. I'm glad that this has happened to you while you're young.

We live by codes (or simple emotions). Women live by emotions which even a supercomputer with Stephen Hawkins talking behind the wheel couldn't operate. They just don't know what they want. Girls are cute but man they're strange.

Some will no doubt go into why - but experience from others tells me that's just wasting your time.

Quit moping after the girl. Go find mates or go get new mates, do competetive sports, go drinking and you'll see the answer to this yourself. If you fall off - get the f*** back up.

Thanks Jimbobby.

I went drinking last night with friends with a camera to interview everyone at a party about their thoughts on several issues that interest me. Somehow I think interviewing several film-makers around Perth over the past few months has inspired me to learn more about people's perspectives, not just with film-making but with all things.

It was great fun and it helped me forget the pain for a good few hours. When everyone crashed though, I was left alone on a bed in the middle of the night thinking back on the amazing year I've had with her. I couldn't help but gaze into the past at all the wonderful experiences we had, and how so very much I loved her and still do.

I looked back on the hundreds of nights we spent watching movies in each other's arms and feeling like we were destined to be with each other. I looked back on the first time we swam at the beach together. I looked back on the times we'd gaze into the future under the stars on the beach and wishfully think about marriage and children. I looked back on the countless amounts of times I gazed long into her eyes and saw nothing but bliss, love and destiny.

It hurts so badly. I fear the pain will last for as long as our relationship did. I'd do anything to have her back. She has left my life but she has not left my heart, and I thoroughly believe this will be one of the most depressing stages of my life. Neither my heart or my head are telling me this is right. It's not easy to forget a year you spent with a girl you heartedly felt was the love of your life. It frightens me to admit I've had suicidal thoughts over these past two days.

As much as my burning desire to spend the rest of my life with her rages on, I cannot be as selfish as to chain someone to me who no longer loves me. I have been blinded by devastation too much to realize this as of late, but it's time now to be a brave soldier with sword in hand and battle through the grief in hope that what hasn't lasted is truly not meant to be.

Philosophy didn't rob your love. What robbed your love was most likely education and spiritual starvation.

I hear you Nick.

I've heard time is a healer. What isn't asked - because most people that say this are as dumb as rocks in space - is 'are you going to take control of your time?'

23rd and yet no response. Let me take a wild stab in the dark at this one. You and her have gotten back together? Am i right?
She would claim to have never been serious about the breakup and you, being as needy as you are, would have taken her back with open arms?
Also by the clear desperation contained within your message, i would say that this girl of yours is of the rare kind... something not found to commonly, or something for which you have a fetish.
Looking at your profile, your picture and seeing your religious standpoint, i am going to have to say; she is young, perhaps the same age of yourself, or even younger, more than likely a virgin, had been with few other men and... i bet she would be of a different ethnicity to yourself... clearly, your white, and for white guys of your age... i would say she would have to be of Asian background.
Go on, tell me I'm wrong.
So which is the fetish part, Nick, the fact she is a virgin, or the fact she is Asian?