Anger

When u experience ‘slighting' or ‘insult' at the hands of another, either for yourself or for another, the soul feels violated and its natural reaction is to revolt.

Feeling oneself disrespected and trampled upon, causes the soul to thrash around violently in reaction and this thrashing around breaks the shackles of civil social behavior. As a result, angry words and actions follow.

Like materazzi and zidane, it is always the person who is angry who is faulted. For, the disrespect or the insult may have gone unnoticed by the world, but the reactionary anger is a very visible. And ironically, though the anger is actually showcasing the damage caused to the disrespected soul, the perception that registers with the world is purely that of the venom of the anger. and sadly, a second round of victimisation occurs. zidane not only got to hear bad stuff, but also got the card. and unlike zidane's case where he played his last match, the rest of us continue to live more and more matches in the form of more and more interactions with the same people. and begin to carry the calcified anger as attitude and personality.

all because someone showed disrespect

Maybe the world frowns upon the theory, "An Eye for an Eye".

makes the whole world blind.' -Mahatma Ghandi.

Such insults should only stir anger if they are true and you are at odds with this reality.

In which case, you are angry with yourself, but choose to take it out on those who point it out, rudely or not.

Because only you can suffer internally from being out of sync with your own soul. Though this can affect the world around you.

Otherwise, such insults are just the exhaust of their own discontent with themselves.

what you say is absolutely true. but applies only when there are remarks that are insulting.

there could be instances when disrespect is shown thru behavior and the insult is covert saying ' i dont think u are important enuff for me'

examples :
when a person u have a great relationship with, hangs up on u, just to please someone else.

when someone does not keep commitments made - for a telephone call and then makes its look like u r begging or needy.

when u turn to them for help, based on a relationship commitment that is known and understood and they turn u away for reasons of other priorities

in these cases, there is not much being "said" overtly but when these recur then it is clearly saying 'i dont respect u and your presence in my life enuff'

and actually, what u say applies even here :

that thereality IS t odds with my perception of strong this bond is. if the bond were strong, these things would not recur. so maybe i am angry with myself for not having acknowledged the real picture. and my anger is then an exhaust for my discontent with myself - for first not accepting the truth and second not extricating myself from such a situation

Well, though you may be re-realizing that insecurities are always lurking (primarily through doubt of self worth in any area) and that people can suck, your noodle is obviously functioning well enough to have such insights as needed to start correcting the inner and outer circumstances and reactions that cause such feelings, or at least to keep them from interfering with self control and the ability to enjoy life.

Because we all know, or should, that negativity must exist and be experienced to allow for the coexistance and meaningful exposure to possitivity.

"Because we all know, or should, that negativity must exist and be experienced to allow for the coexistance and meaningful exposure to possitivity"

where's the need for negativity to exist ?

the only possible reasons for such negative experiences seems to be to grow through change; or to develop a capability to let go of things dear to you. or to appreciate the contrast if and when you experience positivity and then value the positive.

is that what u mean ?

i know that negative and postive DO exist. but dont know why they MUST exist as you say

on the other hand, negative experiences can leave permanent damage.

in my experience, the people who manage to retain their sweetness are usually those that have NOT let themselves out much and therefore have not been subject to either extreme of positive or negative. while those that do have a richer life thru going after every experience they can catch, also land up being more damaged and weary.

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where's the need for negativity to exist ?

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It's a probability based on the fact that it does and always has, as indeed an integral and cohesive structural component of the reality we percieve and judge.

Because surely you are not suggesting that something that is not "sweet" to you is not important on many levels not excluding your basic survival.

To rant, our opinion, judgement, and influenced subjective perspectives derived from limited personal experience and comprehension, suffered by all humans, is safe to say, questionable, in regards to our labeling of human acts as good or bad, possitive or negative, necessary or otherwise.

We can choose to make, follow, and judge by such standards, or base them on their affects for or against our chosen goals as a individuals and a species. But it will be forever skewed in bias and human intellectual limitation.

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or to appreciate the contrast if and when you experience positivity and then value the positive.

is that what u mean ?

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Pretty much, its just variance. It variety, its life spice. We can be a boring existance of nothing, or energy, or we can be people, planets, universes, and stuff.

Negative and possitive are not moral judgements they are statements of varied existance. Polar opposites. They can be made of the same exact materials, or not, be charged one way or another or simply taste different, whatever. They are just different forms of existance and natural reactive consequential behavior.

What you call damaged some call sensible. Some would call it enlightened, some would call it cat food.

But do not misunderstand me, I speak and write for the simple joy of shapes and sounds like any other good upright less hairy (not quite hairless) ape like thingy.

Because I know I don't know, and that our words are contradictory soup of meaningful meaninglessness, both right and wrong when infinite perspectives are available.

(To secretly continue rant) For example, if you and I were to wake up on an island devoid of any food save one carrot, who would deserve to eat it, what circumstances would define the eating of the carrot by any party as right or wrong, what would it matter once they both starve anyway?

These are just things I wonder at two in the morning, I apologize, feel free to make sense of them if there is any to be made.

now i do seewhy 2am is meant for sleep !!

anyway, the point that i see now is that that negative experience of feeling disrespect was indeed necessary.

because other wise i wud never have been jolted into seeing the disparity between my perception and reality. and possibly gone on to continue to make the same errors all my life, or make bigger ones in the future.

so it IS useful to see a bright red negative flag pop up !

I feel that you make a good point about verbal abuse cause anger and often violence. I agree that often it is only the violence that we see but that is because it is much more noticeable. Suppose you are sitting in a bank...someone passes the man sitting directly next to you a disrespectful, hateful, and insulting note. The man's temper soars and suddenly he lashes out punching the man who gave him the note repeatedly. You aren't going to know anything about the note or why the man did it and possibly wouldn't even care because it was done discretely and left no visible bruises. The man insulted was obviously hurt but we cannot see emotional hurt in a physical way and that is why our sympathy goes to he who is bruised and broken. I do agree that both are at fault but even when verbally abused we must keep ourselves under control. No matter how far the abuse may go, by lashing out we only progress our own pain. It is best to ignore and move on with our pain unnoticed than to be attacked for reacting with violence.

fireangel