Seasonal Affective Disorder?

I've been feeling bad for the past few months. I would say depressed...but I can't quite put my finger on the emotion, so to speak. I've felt like I've lost a lot of my ambition. I've been feeling hopeless even. But not in the seriously hopeless way. It's just lately, so many good things have been happening and it seems I just don't care anymore. And some bad things have happened too. But I don't really care about those either. I tend to just exist now. I sleep a lot now because it seems the only time I care, worry, stress or even emote at all is during my sleep; my dreams. I wake up and want to go to sleep again. I have to pretty much force myself to get up and go to school. And when I am at school, I often daydream and get lost in my thoughts. I shut myself off from people too. I dream about the old days. And I don't mean like years back, but even months. I dream about going back to being 'depressed' as I was a year or so back, just because I did care about something and I did worry and care and cry over things. I don't even care if I'm happy, I just want something. Anything. I want help. I want advice. Is this just a stage everyone goes through that will eventually pass? Is there anything I can do about it right now? The reason I ask is because I've become careless, hopeless, passionless. What I used to care about most has just become another...thing. Nothing great, nothing bad. Just there. And it has come that way with everything in my life, including just that. My life. My existence. And again...I just want help. I want my passion back, my ambition. I want to stop just existing and start living. You know...is this just a seasonal affective disorder? Or is that just bullshit? Hell I don't know. Anyways, if you have any advice, I'd love it. It'd be great for some help.

Lethargy...I've heard the word but never knew what it meant. So I looked it up and now I do. And yeah, that's how I'm feeling.

I understand what you're saying. I used to let myself get in the way and empower certain emotions of mine, but over time I realized it's better just to let them be and not question it that much. The only reason I suggested S.A.D is because I saw a commercial about it when I was writing it and just took it into consideration. I do tend to get this way around this time of year.

But a break from school has come up, I've got about two weeks off to clear my mind of all that. I'm sure after a long break and some thinking, I'll feel better when school rolls back around. I probably just need a break from school and all the stress along with it.

Anyways, thank you for your thoughts.

Much love,

~Tazzlyn