a society at eachother's throats.

How hard is it to NOT treat a person like shit? Could someone please tell me? Because I would really like to know the motivation behind revenge and constant self-glorification. Take down your boundries and throw down your guns. You don't have to belittle everyone around you to raise yourself up. In fact, I have the MOST respect for the people who never jump straight into defense-mode every time a phrase is aimed in their direction. It shows a low self-esteem and a lack of maturity. Try this: someone says somthing derogatory or unjust to your face. Rather than figuring out how to fuel their engine by one-upping them back, turn to someone else and converse with them instead. It isn't hard, trust me. I am willing to guarantee that the fact that you could care less what this person is talking about will annoy them the most. No one likes being ignored, especially know-it-alls who talk too much. Don't even look at them. Anyone who can go out of their way to make you feel vulnerable is not even worth your eye-contact.

I hate to admit it, but this unnecessary belittlement is apparent even amongst our forum population. Yeah yeah.. Opinionated people tend to be a bit snobby and competitive, and that is fine. It is when someone purposely critisizes another person FOR their opinions and beliefs that a line is being crossed. But this is really meant for another thread topic...

Here's my point:

I had to bribe someone ten dollars today to not do something so incredibly cruel in an act of revenge that it could have emotionally scarred a girl for the rest of her life. I wish I had not followed through with the bribe not because of the money, but because I shouldn't have had to.

I honestly am not trying to be sanctimonious, I guess I am just venting.

Why do people get defensive when insiulted?

They hold a high opinion of themselves, so if you call a hard-working person a lazy idiot, they're not going to be quiet about it because you're belittling their efforts.

Some people fear what a belittling term could do to their reputation (ex- being called a slut)

Some people are still stuck in the state of superficiality. Their image matters to them because that's how you're judged in the superficial world. So an insult is a threat to your superificial image.

We should be beyond all that on these threads when belittlement occurs here. But we all have egos. That's not an excuse, but a factor.

Very true, I do not deny that defending your own name is important. But, degrading another person's name is not a good way to defend your own. It in no way solves anything.

as long as theres other peopel that diss you then you have to be in defensive and attack mode or else theyl win over you and look at you like your worthless joke etc (depending on the case).. i can see this even by having uncondifent facial expressions in the subwaythe people will eat you alive.. so act confident and a bit cryel you might negatively effect some people suually in sutttle ways but sometimes bigger ways (as you being defensive/attacker).. and also it impresses other people to diss someone.. also we may want the same things and theres limtitation of the thing.. can realte that too gettting attenion from people.. peopel cant be focusing everyhweere so you can hog atn gettin people mad n shit

Name calling doesn't solve anything. It's an impulsive response due to insecurity. Too bad we don't think before we talk. Too bad we don't try to understand the other person before we insult them.

>"It's an impulsive response due to insecurity."

-Due to insecurity as well as a subconcious paranoia that I believe we set within ourselves early on (lower level school). It is almost like a modern example of human survival of the fittest...

When someone's giving you a long lecture, boring talk, making fun of you i got the perfect solution. Simply say "I'm sorry what did you say I wasn't listening" This simply just enrages the other person. Which i usually burst out laughing and have everyone look at me funny but it's worth it.

Hehe, exactly my point Jacker. People who like to hear themselves talk hate being ignored. Same goes for people who are addicted to anger. Not getting what fuels them, a defensive response or a look of embarrassment, leaves them high and dry. I try not to laugh. They don't even deserve that.

I was venting about this somewhere else and it sparked an interesting proverb from a friend. "Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal." - Dhammapada, 1.5 (Buddhist scripture) Even thousands of years ago this wisdom was being taught, it is no modern day belief. Even your enemies deserve the respect they refuse to give you.

This is just something you shouldn't beat yourself up about mindfields. Not because it's not important but because it's just what they want. As soon as you let something like this get to you they've won.

I don't know about giving them respect. If you hand out respect to anyone it sort of beats the purpose of it.

I guess I made a bigger deal about this than I wanted to orginally. At least I don't have to worry about these kinds of experiences myself. People tend to be rather nice to me . Of course, there are always the few outstanding *ssholes who seem to think they are better than everyone (myself included). It is just bothersome for ME, to have to listen to certain people in my social circle (wouldn't exactly call them friends) treat eachother like little kids or animals. It is really irritating!

I trace most conflicts to varying levels of ignorance.

And I am also bothered by the way people get fired up over trivial matters. And the way people talk viciously about each other and spread lies. And the ignorant people that cannot respect those that are different from themselves. The list continues....

but ultimately, I'm not going to let others prevent me from enjoying my short life.

Just my two cents: I think that people with tendencies toward being assholes and/or treating others like shit are usally (maybe not always) products of their environment - the whole idea that violence breeds more violence.
At some point in their lives, they simply become mentally locked into automatic response to frustrations in life. If they could be lead to believe - not just intellectually, but intrinsically - that they have other options, and that those other options will gain them positive social results, then the asshole reactions will be likely be replaced with less abrasive actions.

I like how you called it the "asshole reaction" tommy hahah.,

I understand that people have their own past and environments that affect the way they treat others. What I don't understand is why people seem to block out rational thought when they are angry. It is like they think that backing down during a confrontation shows lack of pride.

That may have large ties to a spiky little hormone called testosterone...