How do you handle it?

I've come to somewhat of a turning point in my life, I think. I'm beginning to realize just how much of a lie everything is. Like most of us, I've known it all along I suppose, but it's just now starting to "click." I'll do my best to explain what I'm trying to say, I just hope someone can make sense of my ramblings!

I'm wondering how you dealt with (or are dealing with) certain depressing realizations? That you can't truly trust anyone but yourself? That even if you have a simple conversation with someone they're probably lying to you, and you to them? And knowing that, we stretch our fake smiles wider, trying harder to hide it? Our socity is so shamelessly robotic. We've lost touch with ourselves, and with reality. We blame everything around us when something doesn't go our way, and we don't appreciate anything.

Maybe I'm just going through a phase, [X] knows it won't be the first one. But how do you keep from losing complete faith in everything? I've been thinking about far too much for too long, and I've noticed that I've withdrawn myself from things, because I truly just don't see the point anymore. I don't trust anyone, I find it hard to respect people, I don't confide in anyone (except strangers on the Internet of course). And I've never really "fit in" socially, and sometimes that really tore me apart. But now I just don't care, because in the end it means jack. All I really need is myself. Some of the things we concentrate on are so trivial.


Thanks for listening to me ramble! I hope to hear from some of you, maybe I won't feel so badly about how I'm handling this.

How you view society is how you'll feel society treats you. If you see it as a lying conniving country it certainitely will be. At this age most people are disgusted by the lack of innocence around them. It is a phase that certainitely passes quick at least in my experience. In reality all accomplishments don't really matter but it's something to do. All you can do is live and enjoy it. Being caught up with others' messes isn't a worthy task in my mind. You can't impose change on someone but you can nudge them, the more conspicuous the better. The last thing people want to hear is another preacher telling them how to live their life.

I know exactly what you mean. I suffer from clinical depression, mainly because I don't look anything like Brad Pitt, and I have the social abilities of a potato, and thus, suffered the wrath of the 'in people', then the 'cool people', and after leaving school, it just became 'people'.

People are arse munchers. It's very rare to find genuinely good hearted folks, mainly because most of them have been chased away to hide in their rooms for the rest of eternity by those 'people' I was talking about.

This social back stabbing and tom foolery will be one of the greatest burdens of your life, and there are only two ways to deal with it.

1. Surround yourself with those few good people you do find along the way, ignore the arse munchers, twat brains and other #%@&^%s you meet along the way. If you get depressed, talk openly about it to your family or friends. Maybe even seek professional help if it gets too much. But most of all... ENJOY YOURSELF in everything you do.

2. Run away, hide, pretend that there's nothing wrong. Surround yourself with temporary 'mates' that will abandon you if it becomes too hard to be friendly to you. Even do what I do, become a drug addict. I'm addicted to weed, or at least the fact that whenever I'm stoned, I forget how much my life sucks.

Of course, if like me, you go with option 2, you will end up dangling from a rope, choking on too many pills or just plain old hating yourself for the rest of your life.

In the end, only one thing matters in this world, and that's you. So don't lose faith in the world, just start living in the parts of it that don't suck, otherwise, you'll end up like me.

thi is exactly how i would solve the problem:

be honest all of the time. you will see the world differently and the world will see you diferently. if you dont want to smile, dont.

Thanks for the responses guys

I would love to be honest all of the time, but unfortunately I can't see myself doing that. I mentioned in my first post that "I just don't care," so I suppose I lied. No matter how much I hate to admit it, I do care what people think of me. I hate the system, but it seems I don't have much of a choice. It's either play the game and internalize my feelings, or throw it all on the table and be shunned. Rock, hard place, etc.

I guess I just needed to get these feelings off my chest. I'm hoping that time heals it, and maybe I'll get over this depression and learn to accept society for how it is. But it sure seems like a giant pain in the ass from where I'm standing.