Exploiting emotional voids.

People rarely attempt to realise their own potential and happiness without holding or yearning to hold the hand of another. Individuals jump into relationships and proclaim love when really they have no real concept of the vast meaning of love. Love is preached, played and dreamt of yet rarely experienced.

As individuals go through the pains of losing innocence and make certain realisations about the world around them, their need to hold onto something increases and their awareness of their inner capabilities decreases.

The majority of people feel a void inside themselves and they allocate the filling of this void through emotional engagement with another. Individuals do not seek to question why the void exists, where it stems from and when it came into being. They simply attribute it to the lack of a subsequent other and for the length of their single lives search and seek to be fulfilled by another individual. The majority of people resort to settling for someone incompatible, incompatible even with their insecurities (i.e. different rather than similar insecurities, therefore one partner usually has power over the other), which usually leads to greater insecurities and also abuse. The void seems temporarily filled, before one realises that they are still unhappy. It is at this point where the individual is capable of realising that the void they felt before the relationship cannot be cured by a partner. Most individuals don't allow themselves to question why they still feel a void and therefore choose to reside in the same relationship for they prefer the stagnant environment to their previous lonely lifestyle. Anything is better than being alone.

Whether your single or in a relationship, making a conscious decision to step into your own awareness and explore the voids you feel is a challenging step. For those who seek to reach higher states of self-awareness and understanding, this is a necessary step. The best learning often takes place when you are emotionally free to explore and push the boundaries and limitations that exist within you. Usually the boundaries and limitations you have are created by society and a institutionalised set of norms. Being emotionally free from any anchors allows your focus to be completely centred on yourself. For those who have been anchored to the idea that the void within is a result of being single, this idea needs to be flushed out. The method to do this is by mentally changing your outlook. Every time that a thought tells you you need someone or that you would be happier with someone, you must attribute it to fear and insecurity. Fear of being alone and believing that you will feel secure about yourself with another. Do this consciously on a constant basis and it will become a sub-conscious practice. Then you can start investigating the origins of your void.

Once you begin unearthing your insecurities by reflecting on experiences that shaped you negatively or made you fear the world, you will begin to revert back to the idealistic notions and dreams that you buried. Almost all voids are attached to and affect your self-perception and confidence. Every void exploited and overcome is automatically compensated through increased levels in confidence. Any increase in confidence boosts the need to detect and destroy other voids.

What would be the results of exploiting the voids? Perhaps once exploited you no longer feel the need to be with another? Once you know why and how the emotional voids came into being you are able to correctly inform and fill yourself with positive thoughts rather than the insecurities that created it. This creates a more complete individual who has a strong self-image which will less likely be tarnished or skewed by external influences. Without the voids blocking your view you are able to see yourself without needing another to reflect an image of who you are. Your confidence grows, your potential increases, your awareness is heightened. You no longer need anyone. No longer can anyone have power over you. Rather than engaging in relationships based on insecurity, hence false neediness, you are able to experience love freely and at your will because you want to. It is then that you can begin to experience the true potential of love. Vast love without games, boundaries and without limitations.

Any comments?

first of all, i fully agree with what you are saying here. i have made attempts at getting at this with people but have failed to put it in the the correct wording in the past.

i started this thread a very long time ago...
http://www.captaincynic.com/thread.php3/thrdid=17401-u-frmid=12

a person must first rid themselves of voids in order to experience true love.

im too lazy to read that, anyone wanna sum it up?

lastresort> don't be lazy, reading is good for you

Wyote> "person must first rid themselves of voids in order to experience true love." Ditto. I read your previous thread. Have you gotten rid of the voids you felt? If so, how?

hah! i dont know a single person who has completely rid themselves of all voids. as you read more threads on here you start to realize how connected everything is. not just here, but in life in general. the "unlearning" process that Decius talks about is one major beginning step. from there you must learn to understand, to be empathetic, to be knowledgeable and humble(for lack of a better word). another step is to learn to love unconditionally, unbiasedly...ect ect. learn the nature of love, the source of love.... it is a very complicated process indeed.

i by no means claim to be an expert. id say i have not rid myself of voids, but i feel as if ive caught glimpses of being "voidless" and therefore completely filled with true love... if only for an instant.

this kind of thing takes a lifetime, perhaps longer. the important thing is to strive to obtain it, do not waiver, do not surrender. that is the difficult part, the part where most fail.

getting back to the original post...

when you understand your own vices, your own voids, it becomes much more clear what others are dealing with. generally those who reach this level choose not to exploit others, and instead of exploiting others they become more empathetic. a few do choose to exploit. these people can be some of the most manipulative people you encounter. they may even be able to manipulate on such a level that most would not even know they were being manipulated.