to hate a parent

i have posted once about this before....but i have never met my father. he stopped paying child support a few months ago, and he has refused to meet me since the day i was born.
i tried calling him, writing him, emailing him, and he always ignored me.
he is the only person in the world i truly hate. i have many enemies, but i don't hate them. they help me appreciate what i have more, and they give me something to compete against. but i hate my father with a fiery passion. i hate him more than i hate my enemies.
my mom says i shouldn't hate him. she says its wrong to hate a parent. but how can i hate a parent when he didn't care enough to even be a BAD parent. he isnt a parent to me.
my question is, am i really wrong for hating him? am i wrong for hating a stranger with my blood?

I would say you are wrong to think that you hate him you may feel have no positive feelings for him but in my experience it is hard to truly hate (or love) someone without knowing why they do what they do. I don't know if that answers your question but it's my opinion on the topic.

what if i said yes you are wrong? or what if i say youre right. theres no right or wrong ways to feel if you already feel it. if you are 'wrong' what were u planinng to do? change your emotions?

One can adapt one's way of thinking and then realign one's emotions to that mindset.

its not wrong to hate. Although the bastard does not even deserve your hate. No dead beat dad deserves his childrens hate they deserve nothing because they will end up wtih nothing. If he know you hate him he know you acknowledge just forget about him like he forgot about you .... thats what I did to the memory of the bastard who contributed to *my glorious creation* ..... So don't waste your energy on him he;s not worth it....and he never will be

good point neuterdbynature

and it does matter if it is wrong to hate him because my mom is making me feel like i'm the worst person on earth for feeling it. hating him is making her hate me. i can't talk to her about anything anymore with out her telling me i'm wrong. so i just wanted to know if i realy was terrible for hating him like she says i am, or if she is wrong herself.

you do have a reason to hate him, and i do think your mum is wrong to make you feel terrible for hating him. i dont know the ins and outs, and i know better than to to make judgements with all the information as it can lead to problems. but if its splitting you and your mum apart, try and put it behind you, i wont say forget about it, because it would be impossible to do right here and now, at the very least it would take some time, but try to concentrate on it less, make it less important in your life, concentrate on the bits that are happening now, and that you can do something about.

The question is whether or not it is worth it to lose connection with two parents over ones faults? If hating your dad causes trouble between you and your mom you should rethink your position unless you may lose both parents.

thats true but her mom should understand how she feels. she shouldnt try to change her feeling towards her deadbeat dad....But as I said before he's not worth your time and effort, he deserves nothing from u ....

her mom should understand how she feels?HA ha hahahaha

Both need to consider eachother's feelings. Communication is key in such a situation.

I find it interesting that your mom sticks up for him even after what he has done. Either you mother is a very forgiving person or maybe she hasn't told you everything. I wouldn't take this too seriously it's just a thought. People usually say i'm just paranoid about these kind of things.

is paranoia still paranoia if its true? (im not saying that you are neccessarily either pearanoid or right to be, but its a question that jsut occured to me.)

there does have to be work from both sides to sort the situation out. but it does seem strange that your mother holds no resentment towards him. unless she just doenst want you to, so pretends not to.

i just recently had an argument with a friend about paranoia. to me, paranoia is a medical condition. even if its true you can still be paranoid.

interesting theory, i suppose paranoia could be a mental condition, and porbably is. but if you appear to be paranoid but everything that you are afraid of is actually true, then i dont think you are paranoid, as paranoia is irrational fear, generally as the thing you fear is made up. if its true, its rational, and not made up.