Fed Up

Do you ever get fed up with life? with people? do things ever feel completely futile? we are all alone and cold in this world. friendships are a joke, love is a lie and life is nothing but a four letter word. nothing anyone says can change this feeling, you have to pull yourself out of it. yet all you want to do is curl up in the fetal position under a thousand blankets and never see the light of day again.

btw im not looking for sympathy. im doing quite well at the moment myself. im just wondering if others have been there like i have... so many times before. also any insight on triggers, remedies and preventative methods would be good.

yeah...actually, I feel that way right now. I was thinking about friendships, actually. My image of 'friendship' has very much crumbled down. I feel as if I don't belong, that no one understands me for who I really am. I mean, if you got nobody in the world, theres not much to live for. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, but sometimes I feel as if I'd rather have no friends at all then having a lot these superficial ones who just doesn't want understand. It's just doesn't feel...fulfilling. I don't know, I just feel so alone right now. Sorry about the sob story.

originally i had thought these "episodes" had something to do with pueberty. i think the episodes were a little more intense during that whole period, but i was sort of banking on them going away entirely by now. i dont think they ever go away though. that in itself sort of depresses me. i dont like being an emotional rollercoaster, and im not generally. but when i think about my life as a whole and how many extreme highs and lows i have... i donno, i just start to question things.

What I do is try to dwell in the intense emotional periods. If I'm feeling particularly down then I'll jam some sad depressing music. It makes the rollercoaster ride more enjoyable for me. What I have to try to avoid is controlling the feeling. I find it usually bites me in the arse if I do. So what I do is basically an exercise in losing control. Thankfully I have enough alone time to do it.

Now I still get lost from time to time and forget the tools I use to find myself but then I realize its all just silly and laugh at myself. Sillyness is my best remedy.

For those who try to control your emotions the next time you get down and mad at the world I would recommend slapping yourself real hard. After that maybe you'll realize you are human afterall and get over it.

Just a personnel question for Mr. Wyote. Do you feel a sense of peace after your episodes?

actually yes. that is a very interesting observation. its almost as if after going through so much emotion your body becomes incappable of anything else but peace. id even go so far as saying i feel somewhat invincible.

I feel like that quite a bit. Usually when I am alone and have to much time to think, which lately has been alot. I really don't have any way in particular that makes me feel better, I just sort of live with it. I try to figure out what it is that put me into that mood, and sometimes that helps. Other times I distract myself. I don't try to control the emotion to much though, I just let myself stay depressed till something makes me feel better dealing with the feeling along the way. I tend to think there is a reason why I feel like I do though, and that until I take care of whatever is bothering me I should feel like I do.

Before I used to feel as if I was too crowded which got me very frustrated and sometimes for no reason, so I'd spend many hours by myself, pushing away everybody out of my life. But during that time I just think...nothing in particuar, just think, and that helps. After that I just have a sense of happiness, even though things have gone like crap, I just feel happy.

i just dont see the point to anything.I ahve no trust in people, i dont believe hardley any thing i am told.This is not with out good cause.I got clean 5yrs ago, through narcotics anonymouse, i am so grate ful to them, but then they want to keep you for ever, even thou your not using(cult).I left and have had variouse jobs working in the field of addiction and mental health, as with been an ex user and remaining clean, your classd as been an expert through experience.I have had three jobs, that i have disliked becuse of the people i worked with been underhand and not really caring about the clients.If there is one thing that will keep me clean,is the fact that i will not have to acess services from these hypocrits.I have now took work as a house keeper.Friends just annoy me,false uncaring people.My disfunctional family annoy me.I just find it difficult to suffer fools.When i was smoking and drinking i got on with everyone.But with some self awarness you realise the word is going mad.I just dont feel i fit in any where.

Not to appear overly chipper, being a newbie, but I just thought I would toss in that as you get older it just gets worse.

Enjoy your youth, it's all downhill from there!

I imagine that sense of being alone increases with age, but at the same time you become better at coping. Whether things become better or worse is more of a choice, and depends on how active you are in changing yourself as a person. Adults very often submit to a mundane and repetitive lifestyle because it is easier and would appear to provide more stability.

This is something I struggle with because every single adult around me wants me to submit to this lifestyle as well, which I believe is either due to them not knowing any other way of living or subconsciously they want me to suffer as much as they do.

And seeing as I am one of the oldest here, I shall venture to comment:
I personally get fed up when I lose faith in myself and my ability to be ALIVE and creative. What most of you guys seem to be talking about is known as "Waiting to be dead", and its a fear based habit that is not actually age related at all (although admittedly children don't usually go there).

Some dull spark (called Fear) thought up the idea that if you just shut down and submit to a mundane life, that you will be safer and will somehow be rewarded by this. Garbage!

But then they all had their heads up their arses when they thought of this and are still busy in the process of self-asphyxiation. Indeed the rush of fresh air when they tentatively withdraw can be quite disorienting so they quickly return their heads into the sewer.

There is no getting better at coping either no matter how old you are. Old people who have spent a lifetime with their heads up their arses (maybe that's one of the causes of lumbago ,lol) just grow more used to the stench. But I've seen many a teenager and young adult doing exactly the same thing.

I become quite malevolently angry with those adults who encourage youngsters to live with their heads up their ass just because they want them to suffer as much as they have. And I dont care if they dont know any better, we all have a responsibility to educate ourselves better.

The only way out imo, is to feel around for your heart. You'll know it when you get near it because it might make you feel afraid or want to cry, or do something out of the ordinary. That was very likely the last action that convinced you to proceed up your own arse in the first place.

So then what you need to do is just feel whats going on and have a good cry, even if you feel enraged by it!
And as embarrassing as it may seem, it will nevertheless release you and empower you to get up and move on in the right direction again (usually the one that made you feel more vulnerable in the first place, lol).

I think feeling fed up is rather like feeling constipated in life, and so you just have to let all the shit go before you can move on again.

Oh, and Zayrina...welcome fellow female of similar age. Please dont take offence at my pointing this out, but I just have to say that this sentiment

quote:

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but I just thought I would toss in that as you get older it just gets worse.
Enjoy your youth, it's all downhill from there!

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is YUK,YUK,YUK,YUK,YUK,YUK,YUK,YUK,YUK,YUK,YUK!!!!!!
..and has no basis in truth. It is instead a nasty sign of the ole head-up-bottomsie...
(anyway I really liked what you had to say on the crazy-about -him-thread, so no offense to you intended)

Chiron, it was said tongue in cheek. (And thanks for the welcome) It's really all about what you make it with all its ups and downs isn't it?

We all live more similarly than dissimilarly, and everyone gets to make his share of mistakes in life.

Go for it kiddies!