HaTe

why do i hate myself? why can i not find reason to do anything? if i go to the store, in the longrun it wont matter if i went or if i didnt. i dont paint my nails anymore. it sounds dumb, but that was a sign of happiness for me. lately im like, why should i paint my nails? no one is going to care if i do or dont. why? why try? i am about to give up. not looking for sympathy either...

You feel like you have no purpose in life. Defining that would help. Everything you do can then be a means of achieving that purpose.

Is this a recent thing, and never happened before?
If it has happened before, was it during the same time?
Perhaps you could also examine Seasonal Depression Disorder. I suffer from it, and sitting under a sun lamp actually helps, as it is caused by a lack of sunlight, during the shorter days of the year.

yeah. actually i think that might be possible that i have that. i was looking up information the other day and i see mt o fit into all the symptoms of it. My therapist totally didnt even see it. i dont believe in therapists btw. They have misdiagnosed everything with me! anyway... is anyone else depressed this time of year? i am so bored with life.

I've felt this sort of feeling before as well. I consider this to be a good place to start your life over. Obviously you are not happy with the current state of your existence, and you most likely need some sort of change or jumpstart. Divert all of your energy into finding what it is that motivates you. Live life as if it were some kind of video game to wherein life is yours to partake in and experiment with. Start taking chances in life. Divert all of your energy into finding your motivation for life. Find what makes you happy. If you're bored with what you're doing right now, then stop doing it. Don't be scared of the possible negative repercussions -while this might sound demeening or offensive, realize that it's for your own good- You were planning on killing yourself, or in better words (giving up on life) always remember that the worst thing that can happen to you in life is death, and you're no longer scared of that. So go out and live life without fear, and find yourself again.

I have the same problem. When i had depression i also painted my nails, and i was gothic. But 3 years later, i have changed alot. I have found meaning in my life. First off, i decided to gain alot of knowledge. Reading magazines, books, etc. Secondly I decided to get physically fit. In middle school i was the pathetic kid, and i hated myself for that. Now people look up to me, because i got my body in to shape. Third, i started reading philosophy alot, and i found meaning in my life.
Here is my theory for depression, or low self-esteem:

Getting active+ Active Knowledge= Happiness

Philosophy= Meaning in life.

You have two problems.

1. You've taken in the lie that life is meaningless for self-serving reasons.

2. You've likely encrypted the truth to therapists who were genuinely trying to help you help yourself, all for the purpose of keeping the status quo.

What you think you are, what others think you are and what you are - are three completely different things. If you are trying to measure yourself against some idea that you or others think you should be, you will always miss the mark and then feel depressed.

You are not your appearance.
You are not what you own.
You are not your occupation.
You are not just your thoughts.

You are the only one who will ever view life from the other side of your eyes. You are the only one who will ever know who you are. So be someone you like.

At the time of your death, you will be the only one there. So, look backwards from that point, and realize that the only judge you will have to account to is yourself.