Hurt...

Have you ever felt at one point in you life that all you friends, the people who you truly trust, are all fake, and then you wonder how you didn't see it before? Lately, I've been let down by people who I trusted with my life, and it doesn't seem like I really belong anywhere. Before I moved here, even my "best friends" were 2 faced. When I first moved here, I got to be best friends with this guy, and I seriously thought we were going to be friends forever and I couldn't see my life without him, and that ended. And at the same time, I got to be friends with this girl too. We did everything together and we knew and understood each other, and I thought that this friendship was genuine, but this year started out very bad for me in all ways possible, and now it hurts so much that we're not friends anymore. We're too different now with different friends--different lives which doesn't include each other anymore, and it hurts soo much. I feel so naive. But now I realize how fake she is now. She'd leave people behind to get ahead, and force herself to be somebody else; she literally change before my eyes. This is the reason why I never feel like I belong, and why I can't stay in one spot. Sure I can party and hang out with my friends, but something is always missing...a true connection. They are all superficial. I don't see everything through Holden's eyes, but if you really look, no one is who they appear to be, whether they realize it or not, and whether it's intentional or not. So now I come to the conclusion that you never really know anybody, even the ones you trust and love, and the way things are going for me, you gain one, you get screwed over 3 times worse.
Whew, that was long. I just had to get it out. Sorry.

Make the best of what you have in your life and go search for the "true connection." But ask yourself this first, "Am I the person I want to befriend?" Are you as forgiving, as trustworthy, as compassionate, as caring, as honest as you would want your friend to be?

Never give up in your search for real relationships and never give up in making yourself the person you want to be.

i have come to know that about 98% of people that i know are fake. the only 3 peoplethat i know personally that arent
are my parents and my best friend. Maybe the reaction that you get, the people that want to be your friends are attracted to you for a reason. maybe you have a 'use me' trait? the good thing is, even though you might not believe it, you DONT need to 'belong'. just live and let the true ones flock to you

Well, I don't usually just let people in my life right away, but these people I really trusted. When I asked someone what their first impression on me was, they said I looked kind of stand-offish, a bit intimidating, so they were a bit relunctant to talk to me, but when they got to know me better, I'm not snobby or anything. I never really tried to join a clique or anything, but when certain people pass the whole aquaintance stage, and actually becomes someone you love, it's hard when they turn they're back on you. I like being by myself, I dunno, I enjoy my own company or something, but it'd be nice to have someone you can turn to when you need help. I mean, I do things I like, and I get criticized because I'm not like some of them, call it peer pressure, but it doesn't really bother me, they can just take me as I am. I'm not saying I'm completly free from fault, because things works both ways, but you'd understand, when they're you best friends, you don't assume that they're gonna ditch you, ya know?

You can change the way you react. For example, if a friend ditched you, what would you usually say? Maybe you'd contemplate on what went wrong, how you can avoid it next time, and look for ways to reconnect. Why don't you try trh attitude, "I know I did my best as a friend. If he/she doesn't want to be my friend for whatever reason, what can I say?"

This worked with me when I had a friend leave me for some other group of girls I disliked. She made that choice. I know I did my best to be a good friend. And that gives me comfort.

Yeah, I think everyone feels that sometime in there life. It is because we let people in and we let them get to us, thus if feels like they betray us even more. The people who we hate we expect to do various things to us because we know that they wouldn't care if they really hurt us or not. Friends are different, because you put your heart and soul into a relationship no matter it be friends or even more, and then when something dramatic hurts you it hurts you even worse not because of what they did but because of who they are. Because they were the least person you would expect to hurt you at any cost.

" People are strange" _The Doors
I agree with Jim Morrison. One should't let anybody know ones deepest secrets. NO one should let anyone know what really scars them. NO one should let anyone know what truly makes them happy, and what makes them angry or sad, and so on..... life is but a play. If one does reveal all these things to another, their screwded. Then they can be easily be hurt by the other. Trust no one.

Umma, if we lived by Jim Morrison's philopsophy or never telling anyone anything we trusted, it would be as illogical as not building a house because you're afraid it will burn down. We need to form relationships. Humans are social creatures. And we need understanding.

I think that certain things should be kept to yourself. Like when you're super excited about a drawing or something a joke, whatever then you tell someone else and they just kinda ohh yahh cool. But in order to build true relationships you must divulge information about yourself to those you wish to be close with. On the question of have i ever thought everyone was phonies? Sure have. But i realize that they probly think the same. The thing is is that everyone is climbing their own ladder and as long as your on the same rung as me and your helping me climb and making it more enjoyable than not having you there i'll keep you. Survival, selection, necessary evils. Dont mean to be so cynical and i'm really not that guy just that more or less thats the way everyone operates, i guess i just said it in a negative way..