some shit of mine :)

Help me? Help yourself...

You prepare me for a life,
only the one you know's dead.
Times change, so do ways.
why can't i get this through your head?
I'd appreciate a break,
any relief from this pain.
My life, well, it's mine to live...
and I suggest you do the same.

...and some shit of mine. *smiles*

You provoke me with your enlightenment,
you wake me up with every touch.
My heart is learning to speak,
To be deciphered,
Under your mentorship.

Can I tell you now,
that I think I am falling in love with you?
I'm falling
I'm falling
I lept into the unknown, not to pursue.

And I'm falling,
and you'll catch me.
You'll catch me,
and hug me tight -
Like you already do.

Oh! Little Alice,
fall down this tunnel in curiosity -
And let the pulse of your blood,
rush throughout your being.

Close your eyes,
And you will feel it,
you will feel that I fall not alone.
I fall gracefully,
with your hand in mine -
a gift,
a gift from the Divine.

*intrigued*

*knods with approval*

No disrespect meant, but to be honest

it certainly does live up to the title of the thread.

imo.

none received/

i felt the same- "hence the title"

and btw, i enjoyed your poetry.

Surely, I need not to contribute poetry to simply air my comments?

I thought this was a place for discusion and as you openely placed your poetry on the internet, I would assume that you would be ready to recive both criticism and possible praise.

And, I wouldn't say it was terrible, but it could do with some work, if you would like I could recommend some very good poetry (well poetry that I opininoate as very good) that you may enjoy?

It might help you find your poetry feet.

yes, please do share

don't take offense- as i may have inadvertently done- you are right i was wrong

lol, i was an ass- *apologies*

Please God.

I hate the analysts when it comes to poetry,
that was for 12th grade advanced English.
Stop looking for the caesuras and let people express how they will!

Look, people's feelings are going to get hurt, but if you want real criticism you take the good with the bad.

What you guys are referring to is an opinion at best, it wasn't even criticism. Unless there is constructive information involved its probably just someone being kind of stupid or giving an honest opinion.

And for those who do feel the need to spout needlessly degrading or hurtful things, why don't you just go be a dick somewhere else.

it's like the questioning look i give a sappy, romantic movie-

while my girlfriend cries...

you must lend yourself to the thought in order to feel the emotion.

i didn't delete the inappropriate responses i gave because i wanted to keep reminding myself not to be a "pussy"(no offense!)
thanks for the support tho/

pardon the caesuras/

Fear of Heights (and for good reasons)

I've been thiking and breaking things down, wondering when I'll let it all out
How our voices collide, somewhere in the crowd's where we hide
i forgot how to fly- by now you think i'd have it down
I'm still gonna try now with you or without
sit and stare as I disappear into a scenery of clouds
-
Been getting there and it's taking so long
Seemed like Heaven was there but it's gone.
My journey is turning into what seems like forever
I'm rising for now and I'll fly
Heard it takes to long just to walk so I'll fly.
-
Gazing down the tunnel to past
And my memories remind
till the lapse of time
between beginning, middle and last
I'm still flying but I'm flying too fast
-
They're all tying you up with a noose
You were referred to as dazed and confused
but their lies they can't hide
the truth that shines in your eyes
we knew what they said just wasn't for you
-
Remember forever is never too long
to become beautiful through the songs
they are bringing teams of terrible things
against the slates we erased without a sound

...All that's left is the noise of our bodies hitting ground

...We once were flying but we're just falling now

...Wanted so badly to fly but I'm just dying now

...Finally found heaven but they cast me out.