Life

I find myself getting pretty upset about life lately.

In particular about how little time we have here and how some I know are choosing to live it(myself included).


I need to evalute a few of my goals in life.............

I'm am left curious as to what choices you are making that concern you so much.

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I find that what I am doing in life to be the right thing for me, I have set a few goals for myself that are realistic for me to achieve. My problem is what good will it do? if I achieve everything I set out to do in life whats the point? When I die it's all irrelevant.


The day I am already fearing is the day I or my wife dies, one of us is going to be absolutely devastated. At the same time for the one of us is still here, everything they have done or want to do will be irrelevant and the motivation to keep on going/living will be gone........

sleepingwraith

I can only say that I can relate, and that no matter what existance is true or false right or wrong, you seem like an intelligent person, what that means is you have what you need to make yourself the power you desire, but the way to do it is to take charge of the existing realities around you, you call it being part of their system, not once you learn to control it, then you bend it to your will. Its the only consistent reality that you can still truly interact with, take advantage of it, have fun with life, if you enjoy nothing but power, there is much to be had, and it doesn't even have to be bad, you can fight the system for a greater cause, like shutting people up with all of their lies.

Whatever you desire, is made sweeter by having truly earned and created it for and as your own, everything you do and touch leaves behind your mark, you can fade into nothing or you can even if only for yourself leave something more permanent and tangible.

Does curiosity still hold a place in your life? What desires do you have?

firebird-
or you could both die simultaneously in a horrible car accident.

whatever your achievements, no matter how small they may seem; they help the universe keep moving.

Firebird, I suggest to take a more broadened romanticezed view, your is sweet but borders on dependancy, to enjoy eachother both as seperate beings and as one for the enrichment of a chapter in your life, shit, your too young to be worrying about death, life is hard enough.

We cannot let fear consume us, or life becomes worthless and hopeless, fear is what keeps us back, wake up the next morning and change your whole life one day, say fuck it, I'm doing something different, or snuggle into the warmth and security of safety and stability, there is something for everybody, just need to look and find the best way to make it all come together.

Whats the point? I'll tell you the point, whether you spend your life hating it or enjoying what it has to offer, whether you go out and make beautiful babies like Lady Taz, and live through them vicariously or just watch in awe how it all happens and learn the greater lessons in life, of what life can mean if you want it to, because untill reality is proven true or false, we are still sitting here wondering about it living our lives as we wonder.

heh yea, thats the extended version of the point i was trying to make...

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The general idea i seem to be getting from the post here is that life, regardless of what you accomplish is meaningless in the end.
I believe life is meaningless in the beginning. Life has no purpose and doesn't need one in order for you to enjoy it. Pain and suffering are inescapable. It is just a fact. But considering such knowledge we must attempt to move past it all and towards the things we enjoy.
Consider this. Life is just an illusion, a game, so why do we live it if it means nothing. Well isn't it fun sometimes. And could it not be more fun if we only relieve some of the stress and worry about death (which is inevitable right along with pain and suffering) and continually do what it is that we love. If it is all a game, which i truly believe it is, then why not play.

What do I desire, the obvious things most obviously for one, like enjoying life more than I do now, conquering my inner demons (the ones that do, or I allow to, negatively affect my life strongly).

Part of me desires a simple life of modesty and family (nothing simple about family life but you know what i mean right?)

But part of me knows that I will die a little dissappointed if I don't become something grand in some way shape or form, if I don't do something really special (at least to me) with my personal talents and gifts, be all of this aquiring fame and fortune and or helping people either in great mass or just very deeply.

Some of it is egotistical desire, but it is fueled by knowledge of my potential.

I'd like to find my place, where I can be productive and happy.

Ultimately though, I would like to ascend to a higher conciousness, unlock the vast potential of my mind and this reality. I desire to fly, to be endowed with super hero like powers perhaps, to find the ultimate answers, those grandiose types of things.

Last night I dreamt a dream with a theme that appears no where near enough, I was Superman (that one was specific but others include great power), but it was a dark and disturbing dream on some levels like most of mine are. The part I remember the most is the end where I went kind of nuts, there was another Superman of sorts and I was fighting him, I destroyed a castle or brick building of some sort tossing half of it at this person, but he kept coming, I would beat him down, and he kept coming, finally I shot into the sky (I get tingles when I'm so lucky to have that in a dream) but it was a dark and clouded sky, and he followed but I shot faster and said fuck it, I'm leaving, at first when I broke through the atmosphere I choked on nothin, then I soared on, but the scary part came when I looked back and didn't know where earth was, unfortunately I woke up somewhere around there. There are lots of ways to interpret such a dream, fighting demons, running from them, ending up lost and more confused and frightened than you started, I don't know, but I loved it.

I hope I answered your question, the answer was off the top of my head so there may be more, I'm sure there is but, I got the gist of it.

Leftwood as respectfully as i can possible say you sound as though you are in love with your sadness and the perceived image it gives you. I can't cry for myself, not that you are, because i can't fly, or that people can't fly. I read guilt between your lines and i wonder why it is there? Escapism is fine. Don't get me wrong, but there are pleasures in life you may be forgetting. I would guess from your tone again that you have either no or an unhappy and repressive relationship, you seem restricted by boundries that don't exsist. Maybe it is not a question of the right philosophy for your life, you may have that already. What may be bothering you is chemical. Anti depressants can help you move past the self-destructive loop you find your thoughts traversing around in. Other advice: If you like laughing, try to laugh as much as possible. If you like sex get it as much as possible, but also be morally responsible in how you attain it. If you building kites make you happy, YOU HAPPY, then build a damn kite. You have no inherent obligation to anything, but you may choose to of service to your society. Don't be ashamed of not needing much.

I appreciate the thoughtfullness of your statements, it is quite true that I currently (as well as the majority of my life) live the life of the tortured soul if you will, but I assure it isn't all at my choosing, not all of it. My sadness has been my most trusted and reliable relationship, and I have discovered it to hate compitition.

Either because of the incompetence of my doctors and therapists, my strong chemical imbalance, and or my inablility to adopt a more possitive nature, anti-depressants, thus far, have been used but failed, max dosages, mixes, whatever, I don't think anyone takes me seriously enough and that they tend to underestimate my situation due an often calm and articulate manner, and since I am so sure of nothing I often end up belittling it as well.

I go to different people, end up with different or just more diagnoses, but no solutions.

I have many issues from my past and present, the present ones are where the strongest guilt comes from now, and again, either they are and or I let them be fairly crippling.

The escapism is more than just a fantasy, I believe these things possible if only we could discover how. With my interest in physics and what not I know that what is fantasy one day can be real, commonplace, and even considered overrated the next day, and I don't give up on them because they tie into my passions in life, they aren't my only passions they just sound that way sometimes when I'm indulging, the super hero thing is really big right now because I get to revel in it in a way unique to this time of super hero mania.

People like Bruce Lee are my living "idols" if you will so it doesn't all rely on fantasy either, I understand there to be great wonders in the world, I'm just in the lower part of a bad situation now on the brink of an upward swing perhaps, if I can find the way to deal with some things that are not going away.

I wouldn't say I'm so much in love with my sadness as much as I've become dependant upon it.

I think I know what I truly need but don't see anyway to get it, but I may be wrong and it may be right in front of me too. Either way its safe to say that I'm pretty lost on the issue about now.

U can earn all the money in the world, u can have all the power in the world, but u'll still not be satisfied. Human life is like a ladder withought end. There is no ultimate goal, as once u achieve that, u make urself another ultimate goal.
The solution to this problem is not making any goal. Don't keep worrying about the past or future, live in the present, as there aren't any problems in the present. Don't depend to much on wordly things. If u can take care of a problem, take action, if not, then there's no use worrying.

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