Chew on this..

When i was 13 i began smoking pot. By 14, i was doing pretty hard drugs. My brother had this friend, we'll call him Steg. Well ,Steg along with about 4 other guys, crashed in our basement for about 6 months. They were all around 18 years old. We would sit on our basement, which was elaborately decorated, get insanely blazed, and watch the discovery channel, read passages from different religious books, philosophize on pretty deep subjects, and speak very openly. Well, i developed a crush on Steg. Maybe more of a infatuation. Well, in my mind, we were basically telepathically sending messages to one another, i mean serious one on one communicating. And little things, people would say, would make me think it was true. Obviously i was dillusional, but im still curious about it. I was pretty gone there for about a year.
Well, theres three examples, that really stick out to me.
1: This guy, we'll call him Worm, me and him got really high one night, and we sat over in his basement across the street, and had a pretty detailed conversation,on basically the way his mind works. He tries to figure people out, and he said he often uses mind games to do so. He told me, he would think really hard about things, and that, he believes, every answer you need, is already inside your mind, you just have to find it. That if you just close your eyes, and picture a big empty movie theatre, thats pitch black eventually the word or phrase you need pops up on the screen....well anyways, i went home about 45 minutes later, still pretty buzzed, laid down on my bed, and closed my eyes. The next thing i know, all of this color ,big wavy tunnels, of neon color appears in my mind, and then, im talking to Worm, in my head. And worm is telling me the "rules" that if i want to to join their world, i have to follow them, one of the first rules, is everyone else knows that this world in our minds exists, but we dont talk about it, because then the world loses meaning and collapses. Second, that i could only use it while i was high (later it progressed to where special people could use even while not high, i was one of the special ones), and basically, i could "fly" to different rooms in my mind, and talk to my firends, or felllow stoners actually, and we could have totally open conversations, and just talk, and i truely belive, that it was actually happening, and i believed that they all knew it was happening,they just couldnt talk about it.
2: One night, I was really fucking high, and had taken 3 hits of acid. I was tripping extremely hard, the weed mix,really fucked with me. Well, after my brothers advice i went and took a shower, and tried to sober up atleast some. It didnt really work, it just made me feel revitalized. I went into my room, and laid on my bed, and had this vision, that I was dieing, like literally a cross, with a lint robe draped over it, and a tarot card with Virgin Mary on it(?)was hovering over the top of my head, and i felt like electric shock waves going through my body, not painful ones,but like smooth, and tingly, but quick and jolty-like. Well this isnt the first time i had religious encounters, the first time, Steg and Rex were trying to convert me to satanism, and that if i didnt convert then they were going to rape me, and if i did convert, they each would give me wild passionate satanic sex. They were both,openly satan worshippers, by the way. And there were other strange religious things that happened...
3: Kurt cobain, came to me almost everytime i got high, and everytime, he would show me more and more in detail of how he died, and that he picked me, out of everyone, because i was the best, and the most understanding. Well basically, he told me that if i got high and enough,and thought hard enough, i would eventually work my way up to knowing the truth, did Kurt do it?

Well, those are just a few examples, of what happened, all of these things, progressed through, even while sober, and being on 13 and 14 at the time, in case your wondering my dad lived about an hour away,and my mom was living with her boyfriend about 45 minutes away, it was basically me and a bunch of stoner ,yet philosophical, guys living ina house together...what a fucked year...any comments, whatever they may be, would be cool to hear...i think im recovered by now, i dunno, never saw a shrink...

once a stoner, always a stoner. those types of experiences change people on a very deep and personal level.

its just that, something like that is very personal...do things like that happen to all serious stoners?

every single one ive spoken to, yep. ive never done drugs myself though, never even been drunk in fact.

.

Hmmm, I've gotten pretty trashed before and I've had some pretty rough experiences that have made for some different philosophies on life.

I tend to believe that anything is possible that can be thought, and most likely worked for in some fashion.

As for personal experiences that border on whats currently considered the paranormal I can't really say I have had any.

I tend to be intelligent and insightful but full of doubt, between the Lies we drown in from every open human mouth as well as the fear that comes from the inability to really trust anyone, I feel as though I cannot trust or believe in any human being even myself, and even if I get over that I realize that I know enough to know that I can't even be sure of reality, and so I doubt everything including myself, and I think my theory making the impossible possible requires a type of belief.

(the ability for anything to be possible allows for the existance of 2 contradicting, canceling, negating, ideas or forces to coexist beyond reason or sense, it allows all things to be both true and false, because all scenarios and possibilities can and or do exist.)

sorry bout that.

Anyway, what I was saying is that I feel I'm held back in all forms of potential, even that which might be thought impossible, because of all the self doubt I have from all the Lies in life as well as various fatalist and realist views I tend to have.

So I may not be the best stoner to way in on such possibilities, all while expressing that I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if such things were to happen, I just know that I don't know how yet, as far as I know.

Oh, and part of the seemingly inherent lies in society in relation to such phenomena, denial and the ability to decieve ones self and / or others into believing just about anything if enough effort is made, is a reason to be wary in before endorsing anything as factual.

"All will be revealed my friend...just don't drink the bong water..."

-The best advice EVER given to me

i have found that things like that happen when you look for them...

optimistic people always have plenty of reason to keep on being optomistic. the same with pesimistic people. if it works both ways that leads me to believe it is a result of what you are wanting or desiring.

i started smoking when i was 17 and i have many experiences that relate to yours- experienced both before and after the adoption of that oh so sweet avocation..... anyway, back to the point.

drugs seem, to me, to open up or acquaint you with new desires.
working off the law of attraction you get to experience the physical manifestation of your desire sooner than others because your thoughts have been focused on wanting those things mainly, not on all the reasons you will never be able to experience them.

err, it's a long conversation that one.

"chew on this"

You ingest an aspirin to get rid of a headache or you eat some mushrooms to search for new experiences, escape or have a good time. In both cases you are using drugs, adding something to your hardware that will move the wires around a bit. In one case the object of ingestion is synthetically manufactured, the other object is born of the earth. Now, while this point is perhaps banal, the words are important. In one case, the object is accepted as normal or natural, in the other it viewed as harmful and criminal. How is it that the chemical choice is known as normal and the organic option stigmatized and criminalized?

as far as creating these experiences naturally, I'll throw something Timothy Leary had to say...

A psychedelic experience is a journey to new realms of consciousness. The scope and content of the experience is limitless, but its characteristic features are the transcendence of verbal concepts, of space-time dimensions, and of the ego or identity. Such experiences of enlarged consciousness can occur in a variety of ways: sensory deprivation, yoga exercises, disciplined meditation, religious or aesthetic ecstasies, or spontaneously. Most recently they have become available to anyone through the ingestion of psychedelic drugs such as LSD, psilocybin, mescaline, DMT, etc.

like Decius said, drugs are the cowards way out. there is a big difference between taking a drug to sustain life or retain "normal" quality in life, as opposed to taking them in order to "enhance" life.

this traces back in my mind to the "happy pill" scenario. if a pill were invented that could make a person "happy" for the rest of your life, would you take it? i wouldnt. life is struggle, life is challenging, life is puzzling, life is life.

there is also a big difference between taking a drug to rebel or have a "good time"- and taking a drug responsibly to observe reality from a different perspective... to attain illumination...

besides, the drug simply triggers the effects... your mind directs the process.

and i am not aware of your experience with halucinogens but the "happy pill scenario", as you so aptly put it, does not necessary apply IMO.

it's mainly a process of dying to your ego... and becoming aware of self...

the situations you encounter- the feelings, the visions- they are all a product of your own mind. anything bad experienced is solely a result of what was inside your head before the drug brings it to the surface.

it is a confrontation of "self".

preparation is the guide- halucinogenic substances can be a key... but if you prefer- meditation and the like can result in the same.

in the case of meditation the experiencer is aware of the death-of-ego symptoms - thus, they are warmly welcomed as a much strived for ends...

in the case of inducing these effects with a drug- the unexperienced experiencer see's the symptoms as illness and thus attempts to diagnose rather than accept them.

not to offend- just an opinion, and a predominating one at that/

Whats crackin,
"Weed, acid, or any other drug that is used for pleasure (including the expansion of the mind) is, according to me, a cowards way out."
-Decius
I find this very very ture, im 16 and acctuly currently Fucked up on meth, weed, and 3 corona extra's, for god sakes its 5:01 in the god damn morning, and i have to "wake up" in 3 hours and go to "school" lmao. But ne ways what Decius was saying i think is actuly very true, but i also think that drugs can be a way to gain knowledge. i see knowledge as in expierence, the more expierience i have the more knowledge i will have, and eveyr drug is a different expierence, the way i look at it, but i also love pondering why most drugs cause addiction, i am just now starting at 16 goign through a major addiction problem, but at the same time i enjoy it b/c i find it another way to look at life, but the thing is this way of looking at life.
Everything that i do, see, and contomplate, goes back to getting high, fucked up anything. ive expierenced it one to many times, but it confuses me when, once i haev expiernced this i still gain knowledge from it, but once ive expierneced why do i turn back and make myself expiernce it AGAIN??? when i "think" that ive gotten all the knowldge i thoguth i coudl get out of it? i think of it as maybe im not gettign the whoel picture when i try to expiernce this way of looking at life, as an addict incase uve lost me, or is it just the fuckign drugs fuckign with my mind and im just plain addicted? is it that i am a coward and cant handle reality, or is it that i cant grasp the whole picture and fail to pass this way at lookign at life?

One of the things i think will happen if i can get past this drug addiction ive been fucking around with, is that my mind will get sucked back into the american dream, the biggets thing i am about, is living my life, until i can find complete happyness, and the dream that america makes u strive for is a dream that is told to you, wich is growing up, goign to school graduating getting a good job, b/c all of those god damn years of school that you have done, was just so you could get this great job, that gets you great money, wich makes you greatfully happy??? so mostly the americann dream is saying that money= happyness, but this is knowones dream at all, it is the AMERICAN dream, and the a dream as i look at it, is somethign you wish, and you never WISH to have money, you are told that money is ahppyness so then you wish to have money, so you are in a daze of the american dream from birth. But in your own reality your true dream only can be told by yourself. because only you knows what truly makes you happy.
Maybe the thing is, i think that if i stop drugs i will go back to school, and i fear school, b/c i fear living a life that was told to me, and i cannot gain full knowledge of this "schooling" because i am being taught not expiencing things, that are 100 times more powerful in your own mind power if you expiernence them. and since i feel so strognly about this, is it i cant stop drugs b/c i think it will make me go back into the daze of the american dream and a part of my lfie will be wasted once again thinking that i am happy?

Or is it just all a cowards way out to enjoy myself and escape actual reality that i find frigthening?

i just wanted to add this in response to the safety issue/

I know what you're thinking. Drugs like aspirin go through rigid testing procedures and are proven safe for consumption. Mushrooms on the other hand ... have also been thoroughly researched and are often used by leading Mycologists (academics and scientists alike). Please note that while this research shows the risks of using 'shrooms, many of those experts still advocate it and maintain that if you apply common sense and are in good physical and psychological condition before ingesting mushrooms, the risks are exceedingly low (sounds similar to aspirin again). Source is important though. Did you pick the mushrooms yourself? Did you buy your aspirin or Nyquil on a street corner? An unidentified mushroom could be dangerous as can the consequences of uninformed picking, but really, I (probably) wouldn't take an aspirin that one of my boys whipped up in his living room unless I knew he was competent and nobody should take anything from any source they can't confirm as such. So if experts agree and the source is solid, well where's the difference now?

and let's not forget surgery... there was also a time when surgery, like drugs, meant solving problems. Today it's also performed to enhance image. Plastic Surgery is a booming business and while some people need it, for many it isn't much more than an item on Santa's list. Are such surgeries safe? Sure, they are, statistically, but do more than a few people suffer post surgery? Have added or enhanced health or emotional problems? I won't waste your time with a door to door survey, yes and yes, of course they do. The risks have been measured, reduced even, but there are no guarantees- hmmm, again that sounds quite similar to Psilocybins.


and as far as the easy way out... that i cannot change. Microwave'd results are what our culture has grown accustomed to. Granted- Mcdonalds is "harmful" to your body, much more so than a meal prepared by yourself with food grown by yourself... but it's still tasty, it still fills me up, and if i don't EAT IT too often (ya know, all things in moderation) then i don't get fat/


oh and by the way, (i could be wrong) but as far as taking aspirin everyday is concerned... i hear that causes ulcers/