Relationships... or Lack Thereof

I just read the thread on having kids, and it brought me to another thought.

I'm 26. I have a good, decent-paying job that I like (most of the time). I have money saved. I drive a nice car. I've never been arrested. I'm in perfect health. I was told the other day that I am "marketable." People seem to be trying to hook me up left and right. But you know what? I don't want a relationship.

Not that I've never had one. I've had a few. But women are expensive. Not just money, but time. And energy. All stuff that I'd rather devote to myself. Does that make me selfish? Yeah, I could probably go to a bar, pick up some woman, have fun for one night, and never think about her again. But again, that's too much energy that could be directed elsewhere. I got nothing against sex, but oftentimes I think it's just not worth it.

So, why does a big part of society look down on me for this? I'll answer my own earlier question: yeah, I'm selfish. I worked damn hard to get where I am in life. I grew up in a big family. Always had to share. Always had to put myself out for other people's good. Now's my time to do what I want, for me. I'm just as content going to a restaurant for dinner, then going home and curling up with a good book before I go to bed.

Hmm... seems to be a random rant on my part... but I feel better for getting it off my chest.

Not a random rant at all. I think you make a valid point.

I am one of those "people" that you speaketh of, hehehe. I live with my x and have asked him on many occasion of WHY he won't date. He replies with practically the same answer you've stated here. (But I know the truth...he could never find someone as perfect as me. )

The reason why I play matchmaker.....(on MANY MANY occasions) is because I hate to see someone alone. I matchmake. I admit it. (two of them even married, one later divorced though)

You sound like a good guy. They want to probably set you up with someone GOOD, before you run into someone BAD who ruins it ALL for you, hehe. Not to mention they probably care very much about you and want to see you share your life with someone else.

For me, truthfully, I think that life is sooooooooooooo much better with a partner. I mean I can't even compare life alone and life shared with someone else. It's like heaven and hell to me, lol. (BTW I am co-dependent )

If ya change your mind.... and your looking for someone, I got a friend. She works for Toyota, has her own house, drives a nice car, is a widow with two kids 14 and 15, she is ALMOST as pretty as me. (In her early 30's)

Hey, i'm serious.

Have a great weekend.
Evilia

My parents divorced when I was 7 in an age when NO ONE got divorced. From that moment I longed for a family. As a high school senior, I was one of 2 (out of a class of 875) that wanted to get married ASAP and have kids. At 21 I married a woman with 3 kids (13,12,11). We adopted 4 more. When she died 10 years ago, I remarried (I was 50, she was 23). We had a baby on our anniversary. Since then, 3 more. So at 60 I find myself with kids 6, 4, and 2 years, and one 10 months old. I had no idea about the responsibilities that parenthood brought, even though I'd raised 7 kids. When I was younger, I worried about providing food and shelter. Now, I know the most important thing is time - MY time. Don't jump into anything. When the right woman comes your way you'll know it. Don't be in a hurry. Don't go looking. And don't be pressured into a relationship on a guilt trip. Marriages used to contracted with all the details spelled out in advance. Talk out the details. You know what you like and dislike, and what you want in a woman and a relationship. IF you can compromise some of your wants and desires without compromising who you are, fine. Don't marry to change or be changed unless you define those limits from the beginning. Life is too short to be miserable.

i realise i am still very young and dont have a true grasp of the whole "relationship" thing yet. i am in fact, much less experienced in that department than most of my peers. but i do feel like whatever your gut is telling you, you should follow that instinct. no matter your age, gender or background of any sort, if you do what feels right, and think (logically) before you act, you pretty much cant go wrong in life.

it is very hard not to be swayed by others around you tho...

Thanks fo the feedback. I do feel better for having got it off my chest. I'm not saying I'll reject someone who comes along right off the bat, but at the same time I'm not out actively seeking anything either.

--kevin

Awww Kevin. If I knew then what I know now.....

Take your time, and choose wisely. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and wont rush into something you're not ready for. That's a good thing.

Thank you, Lady. I'm sure of that I will, too. I just need to convince more people in the world of that.