Religious Experience saved my life.

I am an old man now( thank god) but in 1997 I was a young 44 racing through life never looking back, working 7 days a week, 10hrs a day for at least 10yrs solid and not realising how high my adrenalin level was. Anyway I got a work related injury which put me out for about 2yrs but in the first few weeks a series of not very nice life events happened of which I had no control. Maybe my mind worked overtime and the tidal wave I had created (work, work, work) though I had stopped, it swept over me and I had a bad breakdown. Although I was not hospitalised a `therapist` told me as I started to get better that I had been seriously ill with deep deppression and a psychiartrist told me I only had one compulsive disorder and that was to kill myself........Anyway that`s the background now here`s the experience.....I locked myself in the garage and told my wife not to come in neither her or my 10month old son as I did not know what was happening to me. I walked around a field behind my garage all night in pouring rain in a confused state until sun up the next morning. Back into the garage were I went from one panic attack to another all through the day. It was terrifying, I screamed at god and jesus and beseeched them to tell me what was happening to me - I had no idea. Then a voice in my head said "don`t bottle things up" and then I thought yes, that is what I had been doing with those life events and all my life ( big boys aren`t supposed to cry) but then there was just a whisper in my ear which said `Jesus in the wilderness` I didn`t understand but then a connection came to me, Jesus was in the `wilderness` in his mind with the devil tempting him to kill himself because he was depressed just as I was and would be for the next 18mths or so. And I thought if Jesus got over this so can i. With that something happened inside me, i rushed into the house for bread and threw it into the air for the seagulls and right at that moment I loved everything and everyone in the world. All the colours of everything-grass, sky,clouds everything were those colours but were colours I had never seen in my whole life before. Even the dirt in the ten foot where I stood you could have scooped it up and ate it,it was that clean it looked like chocolate powder. It was like heaven on earth. I felt brand new as though I had just been made and I felt 60foot tall. After a few minutes it left me and in the ensuing months on one other occasion ( if you have ever truly been depressed where everything leaves you,your soul or spirit or whatever you wish to call it dropped away from me and I did not want to remain here for a second longer) a voice just said to me " What is the matter with you - I am with you aren`t I?" And with that my spirit soared it was as though the lord was at my side. That was 17yrs ago and I still remember everything as though it only happened yesterday. My own thoughts perhaps? A survival gene perhaps? Or something more? Did I ask myself for help ? or the God that dwells within? After I was better a couple of years later my wife conceived and presented me with a very beautiful baby girl. At the time I remember thinking this is a gift from god for staying the distance. I have had four unbelievable `coincidences` in the preceding years since when I have had bad news which has sustained me. "There but for the grace of god go i " May peace and god be with you.