Mainstream Sexuality

I would like to start this with saying that I believe a healthy sex life is the best sex life. And that I also believe that loving sex is healthy sex.

So, I've been watching music videos with sexy people in them for about an hour now, just clicking on youtube, and I've been thinking. In fact, I've always been thinking about this, since I was a child, why is it that so many people seem to flock towards this concept of sexuality is everything, and why does it so often work? Work being that they seem to be having a good time and seem to be happy. For all my research I now see the following.

Girls, at a very young age, see in the world that men; men with money, power and a promise for a good time, are willing to spend their entire financial standing on the pursuit of becoming a person who can facilitate all the desires of a "sexy lady." So girls start to see that their independent sexuality can be exchanged for things that they want.

If women see value as money, security and fun. And if they perceive their biggest asset to be sexuality (which they do perceive sex as their biggest asset because they learn that men are willing to pay a great price for it) Then they will attempt to acquire what they see as valuable by becoming sexy.

So girls at a very young age start training both their minds and bodies to become something that they believe will keep them safe and make them happy.

In a nut shell, those with true value are those with money and power. Sex is highly sought after by those with money and power. Women are the prime source of sexuality. So women are in many ways, to many people, something to be trained in order to be sold.

Part of me wants to hate this. Part of me wants to scream and shout at the devaluing of women and the slavery men put themselves in. Because while I can agree with the world around me that sex is very valuable and very pleasurable, I can not agree with the sacrificial way people seem to look for it. Nor can I agree with the price they are willing to pay for it. It seems that men these days make it their life to "get money" so that they can "fuck bitches." And it seems that women are trying to become "bitches" so that they can get fucked and spend a man's money. Men are becoming conceded and narcissistic in order to feel that "yes, I am this bad ass and I will get these girls." When in a healthy natural relationship, a man does not have to be a bad ass in order to be loved or receive sex. So what is driving them to become more "manly" is something that in a healthy world, they would never come in contact with. And the same logic applies to the female side of the equation.

See, most people in life view sex from a distance. It is an on going fantasy that they rarely get to act on, and almost never on their own terms. They constantly seek it, and almost never find it. Since puberty they have been wanting to have sex daily, and daily they have been being shown this mainstream idea of what sexuality is. So daily they become more and more enslaved by this notion, that sex must be earned through money and a good time.

So with almost no independent study, and a shit load of social brain washing, it seems that those my age truly do believe that sex is something that they should sell and pay for. And they truly believe that sex that is bought through this system is more desirable than sex that is found through love.

So when I watch these videos I think, "Yes. That looks like a lot of fun and I may have been living my life in pursuit of the wrong thing." But then I look away from the screen and think on the reality of it. I find the whole situation sad.

But am happy for my own life, and still mesmerized by theirs.

I've had so much sex in my life that now sex to me is like washing the dishes. It's something that has to be done but not necessarily something great (but not bad either).

Don't believe Mainstream Media. In my experience real life was never like Mainstream Media.

Mainstream Media is fantasty. Never entertain the notion that it reflects real life--at least not for intelligent people.

I thought I'd offer a woman's point of view on this subject. I can't speak for all women, only for myself.

I grew up wanting emotional comfort. For some reason, I grew to believe that a man could provide that. I also grew to believe that men mostly wanted women for sexual comfort. So I concluded that if I was sexually attractive and "good in bed", that I would find the emotional comfort I sought. It had absolutely nothing to do with money.

So I spent much of my life focused on my body and on sexuality. It led me to an eating disorder and a sex/relationship addiction. There were moments of emotional comfort, but they were few and far between. Mostly, I was miserable and my relationships were difficult.

I've been celibate for a couple years now, and the eating disorder is under control. But I remain comfortless, for the most part.

Perhaps everyone is simply seeking comfort. Perhaps some men define comfort as sexual release or sexual conquest. And perhaps some women define comfort as the financial security that a man with money can provide. But I think it's very dangerous to generalize. Really, one can only speak truthfully about oneself.

Mainstream media uses sex because sex sells. And perhaps those behind it are simply seeking their own comfort, in the form of money and whatever they believe money can provide.

What I find troubling is the lack of true and enduring comfort in this existence.