Photography Discussion

Welp, I just want to talk about anything to do with photography here, where anyone interested in photography can talk about it here also.

Anyway.

I'm currently trying to start up my own freelance service, which is really nerve racking and frustrating. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, or that I know nothing about photography, or not enough to become proffessional with it.

At the moment I'm just taking pictures of people for free in order to build up experience & confidence. Aiming to get around mostly by word of mouth. I very recently just got offered a paid job, where they are offering a generous amount, though I feel extremely hesitant in accepting any money because I don't have enough confidence in the quality of my work to feel that it's worthy of charging people for yet. This is probably why I'm still having trouble trying to come up with a suitable way to price my particular service/package. I feel like it's going to take ages to figure it all out. Trying hard to not feel too restless and impatient.

Really need to get my hands on a lovely Canon 5d mark II, prefferably with a couple Canon prime lenses, but probably going to end up with a kit lens at first because I'm poor. Can't wait till I have enough money to upgrade.

I'm still trying to find my nieche in this whole field. I know I'm more interested in people as subjects, but I'm unsure as to what aspect and concepts of them I want to explore about them, or through them. One thing I know for sure - I can't just focus on aesthetics anymore (which is all I've been doing with all of my photography thus far) because I'm finding it totally montonous and uninteresting.
I want to say something, and I want to feel something. I want to look at an image and have it tell me a story about something or someone, like so much great photography does. I spend copious amounts of time staring at fantastic portraits and conceptual images that other great photographers have taken, images of strange but intruiging characters that seem to have their whole life or personality represented through this one image. And those amazing, whimsical images that you lose yourself in because they can make you think about a whole novel-length story that could go behind them. They're amazing, they're the kind of pictures that inspire me the most. I want my pictures to be like that, but it's so much easier said than done...at the moment.

I feel like I need to understand so much more about the world, about people, about people and photograhy, about life. I feel kind of overwhelmed by everything, as if I don't even know what to think about any of it anymore. I feel like there's so much about the world that I don't understand. It's almost like I can't relate to anything or anyone somehow, like I'm existing in my own world and can't quite step back into the real one and live in it with everyone else.

Yeeeeaaah, I think I've just spent waaaay too much time by myself, months upon months.

I just need to live more.
Somehow, I can't think of a way to go about doing that other than travelling. Right after I save for this million dollar camera. Maybe I need to re-prioritize...