From time to time in this post, I've inserted some jokes... just to keep it from being completely academic, boring or whatever...
not for the poster, but for others... this is important to her... and when she reads it - she will have many answers and more questions... which is au'natural...
quote:
"What does Mikey Jackson consider a perfect 10..?
Two 5 year old boys... " lol!
They're not my jokes, and they're perfectly innappropriate... because I'm making a point about acceptable inappropriate behavior.. in our society... like making jokes like this.... silly billy
Ok... found this thread from the day before my birthday... and I have a 4 year old princess who I can see going through this one day.. hope she asks someone like me...
There's so much here in your thread... from stage of life conflicts with mother,
(( that I think you may be reading into errrr... with a little understandable 17 yr.old naivete'
)
from there all the way to [ male / female ] differences in communication / meanings / importance...
and then ending with nothing but oppurtunity for you and your first true male "heart-defender" - since daddy -
you are after all about half my age...
yes I'm a fart.. old and smelly... not!
I'll put up a photo of myself too, very brave of you "few" who do...
To keep it short... I'll just draw from each paragraph a point to touch on, hopefully providing you with some other perspective you can use or throw away...
hopefully the ring of truth will be sounding as I'll be speaking from experience and! the heart..
before I begin, every reply to my reply (( i'm such a dork )) must have the answer to this question:
[/quote]
how many 9's are there between zero and 100... ? no metaphores please... people tend to use them when they can't get it right...
ha'
quote:
[quote]
ooOOOOOoooo.k. Princess, short shallow breaths... yes, time to hyperventilate j/k you really have no problems, look:
Firstly ~ not hard for me to understand, the difference in England / Europe is well established... the well rounded and traveled are farther and fewer between... and by "well" traveled I mean those who visit another country and respect it enough to view it absent of a superiority complex from their own homeland, be it England or America or Jamaica (mine)... you respect others' ways of life... very mature little lady - good job
My family spent 19 years in London before coming to America 41 years ago... so I get ya'....
Secondly - immediately after the "great" portion of your relationship - in your thread anyways -
-((if you'll note with me)) -
the very next references aren't towards his error or breaking of trust... IT'S A REFERENCE TO YOUR MOTHER....
sooo... good relationship... mom.... bad relationship... no relationship... interesting, no?
The interloper in your relationship isn't MISTRUST... it's a confusion... but it's not an ignorant confusion... it's an excusable one, for anyone your age isn't naturally prepared to see things from the direction I'm about to point you to...
quote:
How do you get an Arizona State University graduate off your porch..?
Give him the money for the pizza ...! lol!
anyways...
Your MOTHER : Research briefly on google, "MOTHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS" -
Warning, you will not!! recieve immediate gratification from this research unless!!
you decided from the begining NOT to participate in this style of conflict between mothers and daughters EVER AGAIN...
before reading it...
it will dismember you... promise... I think it's nature.. hopefully healthy relations will be possible for you both ... what follows is a couple examples of what you'll find... for sure
1.
When a Mother has a daughter she has many great and pleasant thoughts..
an undercurrent to her thinking is the resentment she harbors towards her children... for losing her figure and all the obvious, stuff, like career if she was so minded... ummm just the blame game, you may never hear verbally out loud but is in there, just natural
... BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE THE CHILD IS PROOF THAT SHE IS NO LONGER A YOUNGer WOMAN...
one of the only and best status claims that is ALL woman... sooooooooooo ~ ?
she blames her children for making her less youthful, and therefore ((crazy, huh?)) less beautiful...
YES SHALLOW AND INSECURE...anyone's capable of it.. don't put it past one of your heros...I'm from a successful family that's always traveled with great trips... I still had to come to terms with flaws in my heros, like my father and mother...
2.
Why is it worse between moms and daughters ? You KEEP reminding her she's getting older and therefore in this society "LESS ATTRACTIVE"...
Every natural stage of your life is indication of this... and you're made to feel guilty or responsible or confused about it...
Example:
You'd expect a young married woman to have one small infant or a toddler child... k.
Most would expect ((if life is lived purposefully)) only an older woman would have 2 or more children... at least it'd be rare for her to be referred to as young with 3 in tow...
... k
A woman with a daughter that has gone into puberty... "MUST" be old...
A woman with a daughter that has a boyfriend,
((with the proper set up even)),
supervision even old - world courtship... that woman is older still... seeing the theme ? ... k
A woman with a married daughter.. she's an old woman...
a pregnant married daughter.?.. is getting ancient, "Cougar" like... like 40 something or more... no fault of daughter or mom... it's our society...
A woman with a daughter who has a child or children of her OWN...?
That woman is a "grandmother"... which sounds ancient all together... aging is against "appreciation of women" in this country... shallowly formed relationships... ya' know... on looks alone, encourage these thinkings...
she's been FEELING unappreciated
no matter the attention SHE (( you mom )) is getting, from dad or boyfriend or whatever
because in some place in her mind, subliminally perhaps, she knows that she's lost a certain amount of status - among her peers... and other women of all ages..
quote:
OOOOOooo.k. - disbelief sets in with just the sound of authority... just remember, once is a coincidence... twice represents a pattern - even a simple pattern can tell you a lot
Look up MOTHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS it'll help you understand your 3-4 fold intergrating conflicts of interest...
Next you may want to understand yourself, because, although the science of everything I've quoted/stated above is!! well established - 1000's and 1000's of years of study...
Moms will
always deny any knowledge of
RIGHT OR WRONG
where her conduct with your boyfriend is concerned.. while she obviously helps to ruin your relationship... as she enjoys a psudeo-affair with a younger man... ((just mentally))
I'm a father :
If I approve of any male ((even alittle bit))
and he gets in under my radar... and my gaydar... better not be looking for a beard... I'll skin him and eat his head in a pot ! lol!
no seriously...
IF ! he and I!! develop a connection...
I know without waiting 13 years for my daughter to be your age that :
I NEED TO LIMIT THE TIME I EAT UP FROM THE TWO OF THEM...
it's just rude and disrespectful of my daughter and the young man... it's distrusting of near-adults, and it says I have no confidence in my own ability to instill my value system in my child... just insecurity to the nth level... ya' know? disgusting really...
It's really common sense... so you'd never suspect your mother of trying to live her life over through your own, with any malice or vitriol...
you'd never !! suspect her of getting a secret thrill and a rush of sexual stimulation, when the boy gravitates to her for a conversation... or she draws one out of him
which should really begin and end with:
~ Mom ~
"Ya' know, that's something I think you two should talk about, I really don't have an opinion that you'd understand, young man.. we're not contemporaries - equals ~ and you have to learn some very important things about a woman on your own, because every woman is different in a very different way..."
instead she talks to him... drags out the conversation, maybe even laughing at his jokes..
((which should appear 18year old sophmoric to her... not entertaining))
imagine if you had a brother and your dad basically flirted with his beautiful catch of a girlfriend all the time.. how long would it take for your mother to accuse him!! of wanting the younger woman sexually....
does your mom castrate your relationship, ya' know, take the ballsy - ness out of it... the excitement you've earned with him..
?
now examine your mind... when a woman like yourself is!! comfortable...
she is awaiting the
man to take the relationship to the next level.. whatever it may be ((kiss kiss))... or just asking for the phone number, whatever
by hovering and entertaining conversations too personal.. etc. etc.
your mom diffused his sexual attraction to you... satisfies his intellectual attraction to you with one of her own... she probably even looks a little like you.. think ?
HE PROBABLY ONLY LIKES THE THINGS ABOUT HER THAT HE HOPES YOU'LL ONE DAY BE BETTER AT... BECAUSE HE'S A GUY... AND HE REALLY DOESN'T HAVE THE TABOO
OF
"I WANT A MILF.."
European remember.. not so crass or pedestrian as to swim out of their depth without a sense of the consequences...
She's in her efforts
[[ whether intentional or biological ]]
is aided by his!! maturity..
he's more mature than the average 18-35 year old male in this country... self determined from your own description... simply ((and without homo-intent)) he's a catch...
and lastly... for now my lady,
, I must say that it all has landed squarely on your doorstep...
When you take care of your part of the problem, whatever's left of the problem is sombody elses' problem... got that... ?
if you were my own Princess I would tell you the same...
You MUST for "fung shway" balance and order
- research, FEMALE AGRESSION... google it and it'll really give you some insight to your own patterns, cycles whtever...
call it what you will, be different as you want...
some things are encouraged by nature some encouraged by environment and nurture - both -
so look into it and ask questions until you're sure of a course of action...
which I could easily suggest / but this is your road - or - trail to blaze .... no one has a map... and only you determine the direction
ps.
no you didn't have! to break up with him... ha' lol!
and your distrust may not be aimed even casually at momma' out of naivete,' due only!!!!! to lack of experience not intellect...
you're obviously brilliant and quite distracting
nice mojo missy...
ha'
Your distrust IS fueld by distance to a small degree... because of this percieved disinterest and off topic discussions he has with you... makes you wonder what is going on so many miles away... in the beauty of nearly Ancient Europe... yeah I get that...
it's not puppy love as your parents may think... you'll never forget such a loss if it really follows through...
might as well profit from your losses - learn - and enrich future experiences... it's the best revenge to live well..
paz'
you notice I have given you my honest opinion... and also that I haven't pretended to know the answer
if over 50 % of relationships fail in this Country...
over half the people you ask about relationship have very little clue
comforting because every one is so negative all the time...
instead, I gave you some projects that you can gain your needs... if there's something you cannot do...
you either need a new tool... or a new skill... just wanted you to have some tools to acquire the life skill of
Ignoring you mother, she's locked in a sequence of events she's probably not even aware of in a real way...
love her... because you won't always like her... hence
the mother-in-law
(yeah, hence! )
lol!
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32yrs • M • 
