Pedophilia - Page 2

Sex and love should go together, but don't most of the time. For some sex is power. If you emotionally or physically over power the other person and have sex with them you might feel a sense of accomplishment, or something like that and you might even mistake it as love.

This sort of allusion may very well be created by religion who teaches sex is sin so therefore it cannot be an act of love.

If you removed this teaching and taught that sex was an outward extension of love then Pedophilia might just be a more rare thing than it. is.

A grown man might rather want to hug a young girl out of love rather than screw her, or know that it is ok to hug a young boy without wanting to have sex with him.

When we get sex and sin mixed up we create the horrible things that exist in our world and a man might fall in love with a women and marry her and never want to have sex with her again because he loves her. That's pretty sick, but that's just about how the world goes when we continue to teach or allow the teaching that sex is sinful.

And if you think such a thing is not considered sinful than why are children not allowed to see it on tv, but they can see a person get killed on tv, or they can kill things in video games but they can't pretend to have sex in video games.

We're ashamed of our bodies and we believe sex is sinful and until that changes Pedophilia will be far to common in our world.

In the spirit to correct this error I have created a web site:

http://peacefulvet.info/blog/sins/

As far as the 11 year old goes. My wife was sexually assualted as a child by her real father for a long time and it was a painful ordeal for her as he liked to make it hurt. Sure I can't say that she is without any blemish, but she does seem to have gotten over it ok. Children will heal, it is unfortunate however that they have to, rather they should grow up into a safe environment where they can explore, enjoy and learn naturally rather than have these things forced onto them.

That means that they shouldn't see killing on tv either or practice it in video games. If you step outside the box and look at it for what it really is, our society is badley perverted and we don't even realize it. This perversion creates the world we have today.

*sigh*

Mr ASG, this is the last public post to you before I reply to your PM you sent me. But I want this to be on public record about where I was coming from when I said what I said.

First off, it wasn't an attack at you personally. It was about the way the thread had deteriorated since the original post.

The OP was asking for some understanding about why ppl molest children. She wanted to try and understand it, since someone close to her was going thru the negative effects of it.

Decius gave some insight into "why" someone may feel the need to do what they do. And also some advice for what the person who has gone through it could do to deal with it. I'm sure this is the type of thing that the op was looking for.

But then the discussion turned into whether its OK to be having sex with children or whether it is EVEN A BAD THING. Given the final part of the OPs post

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Why? What makes a person sick enough to do something like this?

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I'm almost certain they were not wanting to log in each day and hear ppl try and defend pedophilia.

But what made me say what I said came down to what someone posted which has now been deleted. Not only had the discussion gotten so far away from what Attolia was originally asking and trying to understand so she could find some peace... but ppl were now making sick jokes about it.

What I try to use when I come here is EMPATHY. I may not always be right. I cannot read a persons mind. But I try my best to put myself in the persons shoes who I'm replying to. And I'm almost certain- that if I had just had a close friend come to me having some kind of psychosis or flashbacks from being molested, and I was wanting to find some sort of understanding and peace- the LAST THING I would like to hear was "If they're old enough to bleed, they're old enough to breed."

Given the fact that the OP hasn't bothered to come back and post in this thread again leaves me to assume I am probably right.

As for you being molested when you were younger ASG. Perhaps it WOULD (notice the word. not "should." or "have to." WOULD) have been better for you to be open and share some of your experiences with the OP so she could understand the emotional side of it better.

Instead of talk about freedom of speech and democracy, which really doesn't help shed any light on the subject of pedophilia.

This is not a rhetorical question. I'm actually interested to know this so I can understand where you're coming from better. Do you honestly believe what you wrote had anything to do with the op trying to understand why a man would want to have sex with a child?

You see, the problem I think you're having with what Ive said in recent posts is that you think I'm telling you that you HAVE to think, say, act a certain way.

But just like you're free to say anything you like on these forums, I am also free to say what I think too.

And so far all I have done is tried to guide a couple of threads back on topic.

Thats all I'm asking. That we try and use some empathy and to look at what ppl are saying or asking when they begin posts, and to try and stay on topic.

If people had empathy they may have noticed something quite rare.

Wyote has stopped posting.

To me Wyote is like the Captain Cynic Frog. Hes always chirping away on this site. It means we have a healthy Eco system. But when his chirping stops, then you know somethings not right.

I doubt many people noticed that and I doubt many people care. But its things like that that tell me allot of ppl arent as happy with this site as they used to be.

And maybe, like myslef, they come to CC because it lets them open up and be who they truly are on the inside. They don't have to put walls up for fear of how ppl will judge them. They don't have to have a facade to keep people from picking on them. They can be raw and they can bleed and others can relate to them.

You cant do that on other sites on the internet. Its full of hate and trolls and put downs and virtual bullies and insecure frightened little ppl, all trying to make themselves feel good about themselves by standing on each others ideas.

You cant show weakness. You cant be candid. You cant talk about deep and meaningful things. Or share off the wall ideas, purely for fear of being ridiculed.

And if CC ever becomes like that, then I'm leaving.

I'm not trying to police the site, the Admins do a good job at that. I'm just trying to share an ideal I have; where a girl can come to a site and open up about a friend being sexually molested, and have mature adults give her some advice on how to cope with and how to understand it.

I wish others shared my ideal, and maybe some do. But if the community as whole thinks Im wrong then i will accept that.

I've read a number of the posts here on the subject of pedophilia. I'm pretty disgusted by some of them that suggested this behavior is "probably" normal. Trying to get into the head of of a pedophile I am convinced that it is the act of a sexually handicapped and repressed person incapable of having a healthy normal adult sexual relationship. In the "old days," females were married off at a much younger age, even as children, but in those times females were nothing more than property to be traded, bought, and sold, and, therefore, their mental health was of very little concern. Pedophiles use manipulation and deceit, and enjoy the excitement of taboo secrecy and lust for the power of conquest in the form of the destruction of innocence through acts of sexual degradation of the inncocent. Yeah, it's a sickness. And in many cases it is "passed on" from generation-to-generation. And there are many who most likely have these urges but do not act on them. And they are to be commended for that. But once they act, they can never be "rehabilitated." They are damned, as damned as the children whose innocence they have destroyed.

I think you can stand tall, look down and point fingers and thank God that you're not like that or you can look for solutions to ensure these things don't happen.

One of the problems with these discussions is that self righteousness tends to get in the way of progress.

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In the "old days," females were married off at a much younger age, even as children, but in those times females were nothing more than property to be traded, bought, and sold, and, therefore, their mental health was of very little concern.

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I find these comments have a certain outlook to which I tend to agree overall . . . we notice that even in today's society, maturity (either / or (both) physical / mental) are individual traits. (I have known 13 year olds whose physical development some if not most 18 or 19 year olds.) As for socially, along with the aspect of marriages being formed by or according to tradition were not consummated until the parties had reached an age of maturity.

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But once they act, they can never be "rehabilitated." They are damned, as damned as the children whose innocence they have destroyed.

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Ah, they are cursed as the life they curse, such as it is written "unto the tenth generation"?

Huh?

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I think you can stand tall, look down and point fingers and thank God that you're not like that or you can look for solutions to ensure these things don't happen. One of the problems with these discussions is that self righteousness tends to get in the way of progress

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Looking down and pointing fingers is a waste of time. Thanking God is even a bigger waste of time. Pedophiles are among us, ordinary people who may or may not act on their impulses. Those that act are, in my opinion, "criminals of violation of the innocent" who will most likely never be able to get the impulse to act out of thier system. They cannot be included in any form of "progress" in this matter, unless by progress you mean a societal acceptance of pedophilia. Only from those who have not acted can we learn something. The sad part is that because of society's abbhorence to pedophilia, whether acted upon or not, such people will never come forward and tell how they have managed to keep from acting.

I remember when I was eleven years old I lived across the street from the school and used to go across the street everyday to play. One day during summer brake there was this strange man walking around. He walked around one way of the building and then turned around and walked around the other way and I had strange uneasy feeling so I began to leave, the man shouted out at me, "how would like to make a dollar." Back then with a dollar you could buy whole bag of candy so I said, "yay" He was walking towards me while I just stood still, he replied, "let me suck your dick." It stunned me, it took me a moment to answer, I said, "no". He kept on walking towards me and I began to walk backwards. When he almost reached me I had forgotten about the swing sets and tripped over them falling backward. He saw something, I looked to see what he saw but I don't know what he saw, but it scared him, so he took off running.

He was a Pedophile. I don't know why a grown man would want to suck a little boys dick. I think there is lot of confusion about what a pedophile is. Years ago we had discussion here on captain cynic and I had no luck. One more try. When a girl blossoms into a young women and these days that could be 14 or 15 years old most older men will find her attractive, they are not a pedophile but a normal human being. Long long ago, girls did marry off at 14, 15 years old and even young boys left home and married at 13 and few people lived to be sixty.

But here is my point. When normal sex is thought to be sinful then there are some who will turn to abnormal sex. Because the body naturally wants sex, but if you strongly believe it is sinful and deny yourself the sexual appetite will vent itself in other ways. This could account for the priests and young boys.

To the original poster of this thread:

From my cultural perspective, what has given me closure and a true sense of a peace of mind... is the way "they" deal with molestation in Jamaica, which is my heritage...

They just kill the offender... well, not JUST ~ they take them up to the mountains and chop them into little pieces and throw them off the mountain...

Then they tell the assault victim that the offender has been killed in as horrific fashion as the memory of him is to the assault victim...

My younger cousin was so assaulted ~ and he's a lawyer now..
with a family of his own

I was assaulted, and I'm in realestate now, with a family of my own...

one thing is for sure ~ what ever gave rise to the evil that touched us ( seperate incidents and persons ) - that is now gone / for sure and for ever

OOOOOOOO ~ !

You civilized cowards can all suck the pedophiles off ~
It's no solace to me that the person who assaulted my fiance' only spent 7 years in prison...

after 7 years he was allowed to roam the earth -seeking whom he may devour

and further traumatizing my fiance' for as long as she lived.. knowing that he may seek retribution against her and hers...

yeah... real civilized ~ MEN protect their women and the peace of their communities... often with violence...

maybe I can't be all eclectic like some when it comes to this subject...

It's not purely academic to me... it's historical...

Like all else, one must take the castles we build in the sky and bring them down to earth, brick by brick if necessary...

cloud skipping peace freaks have a lot to be thankful for from the warrior spirit of the boy scouts sent to do the dirty work by their votes...

at least you've hidden your hands...
I wonder how the anti-death people will feel if sent to depressed third world country... would all that politically correct crap pan out? NO

yeah, the peace-freak-itudes would give way to a more balanced approach as well...

Defend the Peace

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I would also like to thank Chained Wings for responding to my request(S) to continue our "side-bar" discussion in private and not in public... even though he felt there was a need for a "final word" in open before he did...

we had a great back an forth - He was well thought out and I was cordially recieved... for that I'd like to thank him personally for extending that level of respect for my thoughts - directly in my direction... thanks...

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paz'

.For Attolia

If she hasn't long since stopped reading this thread

The direction of this thread seems to wonder into many different areas freedom off speech the morality of child abuse and a challenge to the acceptance of capital punishment. amongst others

this Is my first post In CC I am not the most literate of people so let me be blunt! the question was

What makes a person sick enough to do something like this?

This is a deep seeded question as each abuser is a free thinking individual that has his or her own psychotic illness/Reason. so cannot be neatly packaged or rationalised into a direct or comprehensive answer that explains every child abusers actions.

From my limited understanding though i.e a panorama programme /and other documentaries I have seen. It seems to be a cycle.
Abused people are at risk of becoming abusers themselves. So as you wrote (Many of the branches of his family has a history of sexual abuse,) He himself was probably abused as a minor .He ( Im guessing ) was not given the opportunity to come to terms with the assaults that may have happened to him and the sexual gratification and attention that he derived from his abuser .
This may have confused his aspect of what is a normal balanced sexual relationship between two consenting adults. ( this by no means can be used as a excuse for his abuse of a innocent child )

Obviously later as he became a teenager/adult the psychological damage had been done. And the realisation of the inappropriate feelings and contact that he had with a abusive adult , that he also now has towards young children was realised by the morality of others around him .
It becomes a question of his own will power as the impulsion to Abuse is now deeply Embedded in his pyschy

What is a small positive of this is to see that sexual education taught to pre pubescent children has a use (this is not the thread for someone to challenge this view )

And as D touched on early in this thread the Child can be removed from this harmful environment and counselled thus resulting in the chance of a normal life And maybe for a while to be a child again.

As a result the cycle can/may be broken.

this is just one example I refined to fit into the perimeters of the case given. It is not something I am keen to research. I am sure there are many other sadistic / Physiological reasons why People feel the need to Abuse Children.
I hope this doesn't seem to amateur and this thread can move forward in a positive aspect so it in some way helps Attolia and the rest of us understand why this happens.

If I might be so bold to add though .This question is one for a professional I have no degree in psychology but by no means should other people not continue to have a stab at it

i too used to have a peadophile across the road from my school, and as you say he DID walk up 'n' down the street but once he did confront one of me friends thankfully the police traveled that area a lot because of the crime rates, and you'll never it. he got busted... one more off the street

I think it's connected to power. Guys like to feel powerful physically, right? So pedophiles gratify that need for power through weak beings. They are attracted to weakness. Normally, weakness arouses a desire to protect. But somehow, it doesn't do that for pedophiles.

We all agree incest is okay. So it's just a matter of time 'til the world warms up to pedophilia. OP needs to chill, no biggy; settle it in the family: never talk to cops.