Lost

I am sure everybody has felt like this, like how I do now, completely lost, I have no idea what I should do with myself, pursue my potential and become that university lecturer the staff at my college keep pushing me towards, or sit back and smoke pot, go theatres and live recklessly, or do both?

What im asking is, did you once feel completely lost, unsure what to do with your life, and did you finally 'find yourselves'? How did you do it, if you did... or does this feeling of complete unsurety never leave, and its just part of life?

Everyone feels lost at some point. I think there are different degrees of lost though. I think for most people, they are happy little drones, who are born, live and die without even realizing it. And to them being lost is just a matter of times when they have too many choices at once.

But to deeper people, being lost can last an entire lifetime.

Ever felt you should be someplace, that you should be doing something, that you have some kind of destiny- but you just don't know where you should be or what you should be doing to achieve it?

I have felt that way my entire life.

I don't think I will ever be completely 'happy.'

Because there is something I cannot see, something that is underneath the veil of reality I can just sense.

It's just there, teasing me, calling to me. And it comes and goes at certain times in my life- sometimes so strongly I can almost reach out my hand and touch it it is that strong- making me feel a need for it, even though I don't know what it is. I know it is there, but I cannot grasp it. I don't even know what senses im using to know its there.

Only that it is there, behind the physical, waiting for me to reach out and embrace it. And I know that if I do I will know real happiness.

Yet, no matter how hard I have tried to tear the veil open with my third eye, no matter how much ive concentrated, thought, lived my life a certain way... I just cannot get to it.

And so I have had to just deal with the 'yearning' and force my mind, body and spirit into some cohesion, that will at least allow me to feel 'contentment.'


A great friend once told me there are drones in life who can do pretty much any mundane task and be happy. And there are other, more specialized people, who are not good at much. Yet the thing they are good at they excel at so well they are considered prodigies and geniuses. And it's those rare people's task in life to find what it is they were made for.

Sadly most of those people never find out what it is they have been made for. They are tools that have a specific and very fine purpose, yet all their lives they are used for crude and basic things they were not designed for. And they know only that they don't fit.

These are the truly lost.

Ah the ole matrixy path finding struggle. People never know for sure. Ask anyone. "Is this your life's purpose?" They will say flat out no, or at least admit they aren't 100% sure.

It's much more interesting and entertaining having uncertainty in life. Imagine waking up every day knowing exactly what you were going to do and you knew exactly how to do it and you had that same thing to do for the rest of your life. I almost fell asleep just writing that, living it would suck.

If you are totally lost in your own world, all you must do is change your perspective. Easier said than done sometimes.

We are all a little lost, which can be uncomfortable at times.

Chained wings I have often heard people describe that feeling as the God-shaped hole! I just think it is that feeling that everyone feels when they realise that they are only a tiny part of the grand scheme of things and want a place in that universe that gives them a reason for existing. I say just live your life and be happy with whatever you do or have and treat every person that crosses your path as a possible life-changing social interaction.

I have never thought of my life having any parallels to the Matrix. Perhaps what I was saying went a little too deep and unfortunately unless you are one of those "lost" you won't feel that "yearning" or sense of being in the wrong place.

But I know there is at least someone out there who read that and said: youve just put into words what I have felt my whole life.

(Edit: as I wrote this Sorceress has just replied saying there is an actual description for it. Not to say it's what I feel as I have never heard of it before. But I know if I can sense something ethereal and intangible that makes me "yearn" for it even if I can't even describe it then others must have that too.)

quote:

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Imagine waking up every day knowing exactly what you were going to do and you knew exactly how to do it and you had that same thing to do for the rest of your life

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That is totally different to what I call lost. Knowing what you are going to do for the rest of your life is an impossiblity. And that relates more to tradition and habit and other stagnation type things.

IF you found your place in life and it made you happy then you would not be bored with life. You would be happy to wake up to what it was you felt you were meant to be doing. Life can still have new challenges new goals and new opportunities and even uncertainty when you're on the right path. The right path is still moving in a direction. It isn't about repetition nor stagnation, which is how you have described it.

It is about feeling you're traveling down the road in life that you were meant to be on because it feels right. And even if it isn't easy, you STILL feel happy, because it feels you were meant to be taking it.

The lost I refer to is not about uncertainty or unsure ness. But about living in a world where you don't feel you belong. Where you feel there is more out there, but no matter how long you have searched, and no matter how hard you have tried, you just cannot find the path you feel you should be on.



BTW, where is you Agent Smith avatar Wyote? It suits the Administrator title alot better.

Actually, I believe The Matrix described the feeling of being lost very well. This whole concept was around before The Matrix. Sometimes it definitely feels as though your life could or should have some far greater meaning, even beyond yourself and all things... sometimes. The Matrix simply took this emotion into the cyberpunk realm.

OK, so we have to differentiate between a happy "path" and a happy "world" but they go hand in hand. The path creates the world. If you are walking a fulfilling path, you will create a fulfilling world for yourself. When you live in a world that has been planned out for you, you go mad with anger like a caged dog, and by the same token, if you are traveling down a path that is not your own at some point you will revolt. At least anyone who likes free will would. But when you understand that the path you take creates your world, creates new opportunities, new goals, new challenges, then the only thing you have to worry about is where you'll end up. And nobody knows that for sure, which is why we all feel lost.

Why move forward into the unknown when the place you are at is at least somewhat comfortable?

You need only to change your perspective in some way and suddenly you realize that your only option is to keep going and you discover the best way of going about that and what it is exactly that you must do to continue forward on the path you create for yourself.

Sorry Wyote, I was still editing my last post when you posted just now.

You know I think im going to have to rent out the matrix trilogy this weekend and rewatch them. I never got into them much because Keannu Reeves puts me off as an actor.

There is nothing but surety... humanity desires insecurity...

Consider... one's mind is more consistent in sleep than any other mode of operation... the inner language of the resting (REM) brain.. most reliable and soon to be experienced again IS sleep...

Any one day cannot be easily duplicated, but in sleep there is that sameness... familiarity... world

is it any wonder that we describe our waking world in the language of metaphor...? The mind is secure there in metaphor...

So everything must have a "meaning".... ha'.....! like in dreams...

How many times have you heard... "why did I dream about that...?"

Perhaps there was an overabundance of synaptic electrical reisidual energy flowing through your brain from a day of energetic food and activity that needed to dissapate as your body began to operate on far less needs... sleep... rest...
synapse in the eye, firing its residuals... into that brain..

Weed....

Do both... you already knew that answer... so I'll agree with you cause I do...

Make tea out of it.. no smell, great body high... it's good for unwinding and better than 151 proof liquor...!

I speak, direct, manage etc. etc. for a living... George Washington led the new America just fine... complete pot head... grew acres of it... also... it was very common...

But in a world where stress is profit... you won't get much common sense from the fear mongers... or those who are stuck ---- on fear now after decades of training....

they seek insecurity... they are stuck on metaphor to be purposely unsure... can't be directly questioned or answer you... you know the type...

Insecurity tells most of the sheeple that the world is Just Right.. bunch of back-ass-wards jack-a-lopes if you ask me to hire one... ha' !....

And we know better don't we... the world is a very sure place.. quite obvious actually... Peace to you alll....

Cherish a friend, one of mine has gone now never to return... wrecked me today... this was therapy

Now we all know what I should have done while my friend was alive... cherished appreciated defended evolved and contributed to every part of his life.. and all in power to do so...

See life is obvious through regrets... examine some of your regrets... you'lll see what you should have done clearly to be happy... just reverse it to forward thinking future actions...

Purpose.

D