Chicks

Chicks mostly just piss me off. I don't think I like any man or woman once I really get to know them, but I seem to have developed more centralized hatred toward chicks. They'll take you for everything your're worth if you let them. They are like unstoppable garbage disposal monsters feeding on your time, money and emotions.

Sound advice as always, Decius. Actually, that was the most precise reminder I needed.
Still, nothing is more aggravating than to give of yourself to others only to have it all go to waste... or so it seems sometimes.

Wyote you sound like you are in the exact painful situation I am in at the moment. I am finding this situation very hard to not feel angry and am trying to look at it from the other's point of view. (who just happens to be female.)

So what Decius said I would normally have seen as a very wise and noble way to look at things. But the pain I am in right now, it is a very poignant and timely message for me.

Or .... if that philosophy doesn't work for you, you could just resort to looking at women as pieces of meat with "Lady Humps" and "Women Bumps."

Just joking.

But just bearing in mind that our closest friends and partners mirror some aspect of ourselves that we like (or dislike and are unwilling to see in ourselves...)

And the anger is fine, it can be the catalyst for positive change. But I think blame is the glue that guarantees you stay stuck in a gender prejudiced world of 'chicks' and 'blokes' who say "its her, its him, its blah blah blah - everybody else's fault. They did this to me!"

And then your friends get to make you feel better for a bit so that then you can go on and do it all over again if you like. Without ever realizing that you were part and parcel of the whole production in the first place which is a real blinder.

I should clarify some things. My rant was not the result of a single event in my life, nor was it directed toward any particular woman. It is the result of many years of frustration. With men, I have experienced a sense of loyalty and kinship which women do not appear to posess and they have in fact mocked and ridiculed such bonds that I have made with other men. I realize part of that is due to jealousy, but a greater factor has to due with the differences in how we are conditioned.
I'm just a typical guy who doesn't understand a damn thing about women sometimes... and so this thread was born.

Mmmm, I dunno. I mean I get what you are saying, but I still think you express a good deal of disappointment in your rant. Kind of like you are saying you feel chicks have somehow let you down badly.

Its an illusion to think of such a thing as blokes versus chicks, even if there is different conditioning. The conditioning is no more than any set of beliefs about something which we all have a choice to accept or reject.

I suggest that you may be generally choosing partners who have a crappy attitude towards yourself because on some level you don't feel so good about yourself. We all project what we dont accept about ourselves onto our partners at one time or another. But the trick is to really learn how to love and respect yourself first before you can attract someone who will reflect this kind of love back to you.

And whats to understand about chicks? Nothing. You just need to stick with those people who support, love, and appreciate you, and walk away from those who don't.

We only allow people to treat us like shit when we feel we are somehow deserving of it. Its a tough one I know, but you should feel pissed off and say NO MORE OF THIS I DESERVE MUCH BETTER! Then describe all the qualities that you would like to have in a partner (this is much more difficult than you think).

If you can imagine somebody really loving you and treating you right... what would they be like?

If you think about it. Maybe it's your expectations towards one woman after the other. When you had a relationship with one woman and she did something bad to you, when you moved onto a new relationship you had some though that this might happen again with her and so you act differently expecting the same thing.

Maybe the next relationship that you have, you should think of as a fresh. Think of it as your first relationship you've EVER had with a girl, subsiding the sex and so forth...dont wanna act a vigin lol

Just think of it as a new don't expect anything bad from her.

Just think good thoughts.

Why go into a relationship that you don't think is going to last?

I've only had one bf and i'm still with him now.

I never just went out with boys for the fun of it.

It takes away the love and romance.

well i was just giving my point of veiw? why be like that just because someone is young?

I bet if i came on this site as a 25-50year old then no one would of questioned what i said but because people thing "oh ok shes 15 that means she knows nothing about her life because shes young and we've been here longer than her"

I might of not been here as long but that doesn't mean i'm less capable of giving advice.

I didn't say anything about your post advice even though I thought what you said was pointless. I'm just sharing an opinion.

And besides, I was giving advice to Wyote, not you, so its up to him if he chooses to accept the advice or not.

Sorry... you just annoyed me.

p.s and i thanks for the lovely advice about my relationship... you are a nice person aren't you.

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That's just super.

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lol

Just remember there is hope beyond truth. In fact, hope changes the 'truth'.

The most important thing said here is the line 'see their inner child' and be free with yours also.

Chiron, I understand your concern about attracting negativity toward myself but I have never been one to put up with anyone's crap, even when I was little heh. I thrive on human interaction though, so finding negativity is an inevitability. I don't generally discuss personal relationships but it feels like I'm in a damn good one currently.

Wyote, I wasn't implying you were in any way negative, or even a push over. But its just that Ive noticed over and over (both in myself and in the younger members of my family) that whenever I feel bummed and shit happens, its useful to take a good look inside myself asking 'is there something in here that somehow linked me to this experience?' (most especially if the experience has happened more than once). Its not about blame though which as I suggested may be the glue that keeps us stuck...

But most often these unhappy moments of self reflection have uncovered some nasty hidden beliefs (about myself or others) which have unwittingly 'led' me into the same circumstances each time. And once spring cleaned I have honestly not had the experience repeated...just new one's, lol.

Anyway I do not presume to advise you as such, only to suggest that this might be a useful tool. You are far too intelligent to have been walked over, and I just wish there was some way the young human heart could be spared from all this..., but it is just a metamorphosis and you do have a fine human heart of that I am sure.

PS Decius: boy oh boy when you draw your sword you are amazing to behold. Indeed it is such an amazing talent you have that I would find it infinitely satisfying to see you in a debate with Bush for example. As agile as any Samurai, your ability to cut straight to the bone is breathtaking. And now I'm off to comfort poor Noodles who is bound to be undergoing a metamorphosis all of her own now...

I've taken your advice to heart for the last couple of days, Chiron. I actually realized that when it comes to relationships (of any sort), I pay way too much attention to other people's notions of how they should operate, and not enough to my own feelings. This whole thread has been a great contributor in re-focusing my emotions!

That's really cool to hear, Wyote.

Its great to see someone actually take onboard what others say instead of thinking they know best and will go their own way without really listening to another opinion.

I mean what's the point of coming to a forum to learn if you only want to tell eveyone how much you know and never listen?

Your mind will stagnate if you cannot accept that you may be wrong at times, and there is another way to look at things.

The reason I like this site is that I feel I am growing as a person by communicating with the people here. And Im always open to suggestion.

I also hope that in my discourse with others, something I say may be taken on board and help them grow also. Or even just help them get through a tough time.

One of my favourite quotes on this site is:

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Every man is my superior in that I may learn from him.

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This thread has proven that to me.

Wow! reading these last comments have really opened my eyes to how much men trivialise relationships with women. If you see a woman as a peice of meat and a potential fuck (this is a word I rarely use but in this case seems appropriate) then you get everything you deserve! If you go into a relationship at a platonic level and build on that, love will come naturally and love making wil be sweet and you won't have half the problems of disrespect on both sides. Then if you are lucky enough to build a life with this person, sharing everything, it should work out.

I'm not stupid though I know there are break downs in relationships, hell I was separated for three years. But if you bolt at every problem and dont try and see it from both sides of the bed then it will inevitably end in a bitter break-up.

If I've learnt anything in my life it is the importance of listening to what people are saying to you (really listening) and then listening to your self responding - you know what? even thinking before opening your mouth can help sometimes!