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43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
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For the record, anyone who wants to discuss anything I write here is free to PM me and I will happily reply. Or, if they feel something I have written is a topic for discussion for everyone on the site, feel free to make a thread out of it. But Id prefer not to go off on tangents with this thread. But since you asked Chris. There is no "Shadows Mantra Workout." I do all those exercises, and Ive been exercising in one form or another since I was 19. But I don't have those ones written down as some kind of special regime. It was a follow on about my thoughts on the Shadow we all have inside us. The part to us that isn't particularly nice. But is needed for us to survive all the same. What I was trying to show was a positive way in which I let my shadow out. When I am exercising and I'm pushing myself as hard as I can, I sometimes think of this guy I really hate and my anger drives me on. So instead of using my anger in a destructive way I instead channel it into energy and let it burn off that way. As for Mr Arrogance. I haven't seen him since the 90s. But I know that the one thing to piss him off if I ever come across him again, is to be physically superior to him, since appearance and superficial things were what made him tick.
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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."
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43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
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Time. (Part One) The Human Cycle. Oh how we have changed. Us children of a golden age. An age where the days were always sunny and we would always remain young. Creations of our parents we were. Grown to rebelliousness and a new herd mentality we called our own. We were unstoppable, nothing was impossible, we had an entire lifetime ahead of us and the world at our feet to pave our way. And now we are our parents. Looking at photos of my generation and photos of our parents- is like looking into a lens that distorts time. And shows us a mirror image. I remember a day in summer in my first year of high school. Some friends came round. And while we laughed and messed about in the backyard, my father came out to get something from the shed. And when he went back inside, my friends asked me why he wasn't wearing shorts on such a hot day. What could I say? I didn't know the answer, and never dreamed that grown ups preferred trousers to "childish" shorts if at all possible. And today I saw a picture of one of those young boys who asked me that. Outside in the back yard with his young child, wearing pants on a hot day. How he had grown. How he had changed. He used to be smaller than the other kids and took on the role of class clown to avoid being bullied. Now looking at that picture, he was a responsible parent and looked so large next to his child. So changed. But I still remember that day, hot and sunny and so full of excitement, like all days back then. When everything was new and fun and fresh as the cut grass my dad had mown in his long pants. And that little guy who was always smiling, joking about, like he would forever be a little boy. Why these memories now? Why these strange thoughts? I've been looking on facebook and a site for my old highschool. I feel so much confusion seeing pictures of all these "adults" who were once like the boys who came to visit me in my backyard all those years ago. All those troublesome teenagers, those rock throwing, spitting malcontents, those bullies, teachers pets, nerds, jocks, class clowns, princesses, sluts, popular kids, and loners- cannot be distinguished from the pictures of the teachers who taught us back then. The teachers who were so OLD and so strict and so much the enemy to us. The ones who stood for authority, order, discipline; while we in our need to distinguish ourselves from our parents, stood for rebellion, and everything opposite to what adults stood for. Now. I cant see the difference. The friends and classmates from those years, so grown up I hardly recognize them. Their faces changed so much; lines from years of being an adult and the stress that comes with it, fat from living too good a lifestyle, and a general change that I cant quite place. Perhaps its in their eyes. Their eyes- the only thing truly recognizable in all these people- have lost their spark, that inner fire of youth and childhood. Replaced by a hidden bitterness. A disappointment that their lives didn't turn out how they had planned when they thought with the minds of immortal teenagers. And though they try to hide it with smiles and the superficial trappings of success- I can see it. I can see their inner child has died. And they are now the very adults they rebelled against so many years ago. And I wonder if the children of today see us as we saw our teachers and our parents. And I hope the inner fire that I still feel hot in my heart still emanates from my eyes. I hope the disappointments that life gives to all who ever dreamed does not lurk in the windows to my soul. For the time from child to teenager to adulthood passed by so fast. I missed it in the blink of a fiery eye.
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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."
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43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
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Cool breeze. Wind. I feel you. Your ethereal grace, a friendly spirit, swirling around me, breathing life, into this heated hulk. Caress my skin, make love to it. Drink my sweat and give birth to a cooler climate. I need you. I accept you. I want you. Grasp me with cold hands. Massage me with cool strokes. Love me with temperate touches. And bathe me with your life giving aura. Wind. Blow, gust, heave. Save me from this cruel furnace. And I am yours.
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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."
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43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
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Loneliness. Pt. 1 (Bricks.) We all strive to be like others. We all crave attention. We all build a wall higher to see over the other side. And we all fail at happiness. Everyone wants to be like me. But no one wants to be with me.
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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."
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43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
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The Meaning of Life. You search for happiness, but happiness derives from meaning. So you wonder what is your meaning, what makes you complete. And so far, youve found no meaning. Lacking answers you look to others. But they too in all their search have never found that elusive grail. That which makes us complete; The true meaning of why we are here. To a race in its childhood happiness is all that counts. But true happiness can only be derived from meaning.
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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar." [ Edited by Chained Wings at
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42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that pupa ria is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
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glad you found the key to get out. tchin~
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"I'm the mirror that will make you invisible"
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43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
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Introduction: The Lady. The Home. The Quest. The Lady. The one incarnation of the female spirit that is meant for my soul. The Home. The place we all see as a child which eludes us as adults. The Quest: To find The Lady. To find The Home.
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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."
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43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
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Lament for Innocence. The answer to life flys away on a kite while a yearning in us grasps like a child. Wanting yearning needing. Seeing rainbows happiness idealsim pulled away by a wind we cannot see. Leaving us disillusioned, forever in search of a life we knew so long ago.
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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar." [ Edited by Chained Wings at
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43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
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No matter who we are. No matter what we do. We all seek acceptance.
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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar." [ Edited by Chained Wings at
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37yrs • F •
Erato is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
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very honest .. I agree with you .. every fragment of a thinking person helps... I could write more .. I will in the future for he time being I send you a poem I wrote.. Breathe in, breathe out –Blue is everywhere I cried for books I have not read I doomed my childhood haunted by dreams, egresses-dazzling blue- like sounds viably elated. I made fish nets by pale gold and left them among corals to see if I could have a taste for blue fish doped by doldrums. I raised bird traps only to see if I could catch lay dormant memory birds of bluish flesh secretly warbling blatant. Breathe in Incising flairs.... Breathe out Flavoring blares.... Breathe in Fragments of despair.... Breathe out Locks of angels' hair... mary vareli
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""This suspence is terrible, I hope it will last" Oscar Wilde"
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