What Is Wrong With Being A Slut - Page 2

*LOL* Sorry, Awakenedwrath about stealing the spot-light and pouring water over your parade. I certainly did not intentionally want to do it on purpose.

Well, going back to your subject... on nothing wrong in being a slut. I think you've brought up some valid examples in regards to your comparisons of gluttony, and greed. They are all one in the same, except they are expressed in different physical form (i.e. Eating expensive food, buying expensive material goods, and not to mention dabbling in drugs all in to the excess).

Frankly, I think that if activities like that are done in such a way as a form of escape from pain or boredom they experience on a daily basis, then maybe it's not so good. I say it's not good, because in a way they are using those activities (eating, shopping, having sex) as a way to resolve their feelings. It may work on short-term, but eventually they will have to deal with those feelings anyway from within. So, from that standpoint, being a slut isn't exactly helpful in getting at the root causes of their pain, boredom, and/or sense of loss.

On another note, if you are happy with yourself and you know where you are coming from, and you are a balanced individual, and you want to experience sex in its myriad forms; that's no one's right to judge and no one's business. I mean, if a person has their shit together, and are happy, who is to judge?

Awakened:

The origins of words are quite complex; for the woman there's an interesting post here where alternatives to woman are considered such as womyn and wom.

http://www.academinist.org/mp/archive/march05/amp025.html

The word woman, is like the word womb, the word woman being seperate from 'man' by the word 'wo' relating to womb, a place of origin, development and growth. In similarity mother nature is called mother due to the association with a caring, nurtring place hence the womb of creation.

Sex is not about conquering the most women or being the stud. These are a consequence of actions that other men admire and look up to. It's the other way around; it is to have sex becuase its a good thing; not to have sex just because the stereotype makes one's ego bigger. Its an unfortunate situation. Sex is not just shoving your penis inside a woman so to feel powerful. 'Sex' is really a whole raft of stages that triggers not only the body but the mind also.

Attollia:

You say that I assume man is the giver and woman is the acceptor. Well this is half true. Because sex is not, altogether, about the sexual organs; this we forget. In fact some would argue the biggest sexual organ is the mind. The proper act of sex is a natural one; it requires both mind and body and for them to be working together. Women experience things from feelings; men from logic. Whilst this is true I must point out that men for some reason barrier of their natural ways to 'logically' reason the situation and think what is best; they don't do what instinct says. In a 'natural' situation, the man see's what he wants and acts on it. And if his advances are rejected he moves onwards. If courtship is accepted the woman 'gives' love and the man 'receives' this love; whilst returning with sexual (I mean romantic; not 'I must prove I'm a man' type sex) advances and she recieves them and gives out love. And so it coninues.

Its unfortunate that there are also few ladies. And this is in part because of their repression. Girls are at a cross-roads between having lots of sex and remaining the sweet innocent. Girls react to feelings first and the logic nomally tags along with the feelings; how many times do you get yourself say things like 'I can't I'm busy tommorrow, maybe next week' knowing that you won't but you say things like this because you think at least it will make them feel better?

Now ask the alternative; how many times can you say, when someone asks you 'would you like to come to the cinema with me tomorrow' this sudden urge to make whatever plans you've made drop and say 'I might be busy, but I'll make myself available'? If this is lots then congratulations. Many girls don't feel this desrire, but compromise, in the back of their heads they ask 'where have the men gone?' You say feminists are against because of domestic rape and abuse.

I say domestic rape and abuse is not manly. Ask the man and deep down he knows this. To be manly means to accept a situation and take charge of it. Rape or domestic abuse, is in fact a man's inability to face a problem elsewhere and to take anger or frustration out on a female. Its often a very sad state of affairs, which could be liberated if only they could have more hope.

You ask if I would label a woman who was not a base of love as abnormal. Well actually I would say she was normal in this day and age. Its also a good thing to mention some girls aren't comfortable with sex either. Many girls have found it hard to relax at the idea of sex. I've found that making the whole think relaxed and comforting in these situations often relieves the anxiety and the cultural blockages associated with 'sex' break down and the whle process becomes an exciting pleasurable one.

The problem is really deep-rooted. There are few men, in truth, but loads of confused children in adults bodies; mixed between what women want, what their careers are, etc. And these men end up living routine lives, working for someone, doing the 9-5 and they become, well, boring. And this lack of excitement is the reason for so many divorces. The women who stay in these relationships often become feminists, simply because they aren't being natural. And feminists harm girls by seeking to destroy more 'men'. If you need to know what a man is, ask your instincts. Its a sad state of affairs.

Now, to answer the original question Awakened asked, is it wrong to be a slut. Yes, its wrong because of the word 'slut'. The word slut is the word used by society to class people who shag all the time. The male 'slut' is a derogatory form in my view. I think someone said eralier that there are followers of society. This is a good point. men who try to earn slut status will be crowned by other men around, simply because, they are brave and corageous and can flaunt their manhood. But this isn't 'it'. Its not about building and fighting and going on and charging. Its about being ambiyious, imaginative, craettive, constructive, driven. There is a 'world' of differnce.

Boys try to earn 'slut' status. Men don't want to earn 'slut' status, its what they are labelled by society. Men have ambition and seek to find. You may ask how to have ideals in a society of ideals and non-ideals. Well firstly its not wise to not know the society in which you live, to not know the laws. Secondly, its better to know it so well you can create things within or outside or marging on the laws to create a better place tomorrow.

I meant stop being so goddamn complicated just for the sake of being complicated. Its fucking annoying.

"The word slut is the word used by society to class people who shag all the time. "

you didnt prove anything at all. You just said something. Thats litterally all you did. Thast what you said. You didnt tell why taht was your proof, you just said it. What is wrong with "shagging" with everyone? If you're telling me that the word slut comes froma society that spawned to mean something bad, then I must tell you that I dont care. Im not worried about lpaying word games and stuff like taht, I wanna know if its actually wrong, and not just the product of 500 years of insecurity.

And my name is not Awakened. Its Awakend. Im not getting mad at you or anything, but Ive noticed that people do that. Thats just not my name...

Is it better to give in to our urges? Or think logically and go against them? What would be the logic behind having casual sex? Simply "it feels good?" What is the logic behind abstinence? Safety? Can we progress more efficiently by accepting and pursuing our desires, or denying ourselves of pleasures in order to, for example, appreciate them more?

Awakend - why do you think that there is nothing wrong with being a slut? Care to back up your line of thought?

p.s. I'm also slightly confused as to what you meant by the word slut and how literal or loosely you use the word. I want to know specifically and in what context ... 1) Girls who sleep around who know what they want out of life, or 2) Girls who sleep around because they are clueless about themselves and want attention ; and any negative attention thrown upon them is good? Because with the way we use the word, "Slut" it seems to be so diluted and it's simply applied to any girl we find distasteful and dislike in general.

quote:

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I wanna know if its actually wrong,

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Are you looking for abolute morality here (ie murder is wrong)?

Wyote, it depends on the consequences and the degree of harm/good they cause. Some social trends are hard to measure in terms of effects. Does an increase in sluts in one area lead to more divorces? If we had a greater understanding of how sluts affect society (ie studies, statistics), then we can understand why being a slut is so bad.

But in the social context, it's because modern Western society approves of loyalty to one parther that slutiness.

I personally felt heyjme's post was rather uplifting. The male slut does gain a very noticable respect. And for what? This respect must be caused from the widespread insecurites of men. I can't see any other reason for this.

"Im not worried about lpaying word games and stuff like taht, I wanna know if its actually wrong, and not just the product of 500 years of insecurity."

This is a moral discussion and so we must address what is right and what is wrong. Wrong actions are usually reserved for things which cause harm to the practicer of the action or the object of the action. Does a woman being a slut cause harm to herself or to the participant of her sluttery? This is the question we must answer to know if being a slut is wrong or right.

I think every girl should be as slutty as they want...with one man. When it comes to my boyfriend, i am totally open to any crazy ideas...but i wouldnt think about doing that with any other guy...Make a commitment to someone...then become a slut. However...

Girls who sleep around have self confidence problems. Why do you think that elementary schools teach kids how to be confident and self respectful anymore? If everyone has self respect who will strip at our clubs and be used for porn videos?? And more importantly, where will that leave me on friday night with my hi-speed internet connection??

Wyote; in my view there seems to be a misuderstanding, and this is my point, between a slut, a person who wants just a long-term relationship and anotther person. A slut is or can be someone insecure, as this is it, has pointed out. The person looking for the long-term relationship is or can be a conformatist. And they have their places-both have their causes. But the thirs type of person (and this is why I said can be) can become liberated from both by just being happy in what they do and having self-purpose, whilst caring for others at the same time. Its ironic but if we just tell the truth all the time, be honest and have drives and ambitions not of hatred but of self improvement, this is the thing that sepeartes tyrannical leaders from likeable leaders, then good actions come as a consequence of this. In my own view, however, most people that I know who fit into this third category I'm trying to describe have to go through a 'school of hard knocks' and deal with them.

Once insecurity is beaten and self-acceptence is there, things become more clear. Once this is done, whether one chooses monogamy or polygomy or whatever, is of virtuous nature.

Awakend, I made a typo, and I apologise for this. It made me smile given that your reply was centred around the point that what I was saying was 'just words'. The problem with just shagging everything is, if it is taken absolutely literally, is a problem; but of course I know this isn't what you 'meant'. That's because I know better. in the same way, but on a deeper level, actions have consequences and to be niave or to not care about the 'society' lived in is a sign of being rebelious to conformitism-aka a sign of insecurity itself. Words don't have meaning on paper in isolation; a word is known by the company it keeps. Its not what your saying I have a problem with but in trying to understand why you say these things.

One of my mates was told by a lady 'you're arrogant' ....he smiled and said I'm not arrogant-I'm focused. This lady didn't know him I must add but made a judgment on him literally in a few seconds without even talking to him. He didn't say 'yes I'm arrogant; so what?' What he said was both truthful and at the same time made this lady see things in a different light, without offending her or getting into an argument. He later told me it was a line that he had heard Russell Crowe use so its effect wasn't quite as impresive- but this is one way of dispelling myths in society whilst at the same time recognising the meaning of a word in society; just like the word slut. The important thing above all is that what he said wasn't a lie; but a way of letting someone see things in their true light. I hope this makes sense.

Its very hard to supply a proof to something that is subjective; and so its necessary to read between the lines rather than just reading the lines when replies are made on a subjective post.

There is no misunderstanding, however I am at fault for assuming that everyone understands what you have just stated to me.

This whole debate seems a bit silly to me as the very definition of a "slut" is a negative. Having casual sex does not neccissarily make a person a "slut" though in many cases it does happen to have a negative affect on the person. It seems that many people are having trouble understanding this.

Heres the deal. What if a girl has a lot of sex with a lot of different guys just because she wants to feel loved. Its the same thing people do when they use dating services or when they eat comfort food. They just want to be loved. When we see a girl that is concidered to be sluty, it is extremely looked down on, but when we see a girl who is eqaully as desperate, just less sexually active because she is either shy or unatractive, we see nothing wrong with it. The same mental frame is being shown, but because sex is taboo we scorn the slut. Its not fair.

Honestly, do you see anything wrong with a person who attempts to give themself to everyone around them in a mental frame just because they want to feel connected? If you say no and think that being a slut is horrible, Wyote, then you should realize that the person who is trying to give themself mentally is doing litterally the exact same thing.

Heyjme1- Thank you. I understood what you were saying that time.

Not only is it worse, but it's also much harder to change IMO.

Decius- But what about the people that give themselves without using sex. Are they protitutes?

well i guess nothing really is wrong with being a slut as long as your not committed with anyone.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4112450.stm

Read the last paragraph and change the word 'government' for the word 'I' .