A Real 30 Year Old Virgin

I met this guy the other day. He has never been out on a date, never kissed a girl, never had done anything sexual, and he lives with his mom. She's like 50 or 60.

Thoughts?

Having never seen the movie but knowing a twenty-eight year old virgin, I'd have to say if he's still living with his parents, it's kind of scary. My friend has an apartement of his own and had foregone sex as a matter of choice. (No religious references, family histories, just a choice on his own.) But living with your parents until that age- the man must still have the mindset of a child, not in the intelligence sense but rather in the dependancy sense. I don't know.

I'd get pretty lonely...But, probably he's scared about something.

What's wrong with living with your parents?

What isn't wrong with living with your parents..

-Don't need to pay rent
-Someone else besides you may be cooking dinner
-You won't be alone in the house at night
-Continue to receive emotional support from parents

wrong on the rent front, my mum said if i come back home after uni before finding somewhere to go, then i would have to pay rent.

the others are benefits but on the other hand you lose a lot of the independence you would otherwise have. if you live alone or with a partner in your own place, it is up to you what you do and when, without enroaching on other people, anyone with a boyfriend or girlfriend must know how annoying it is to be constantly interupted when you want time to yourselves. but i suppose some people arent so bothered about that.

Haha Attolia you are such an innoccent and kind creature...

It all depends on your relation with your parents and cultural norms. Adults who stick around with their parents are looked down upon because it is a sign that he/she can not live alone and/or marry. I suppose I made my first post in regards to myself.

I don't see that its so strange. Yes certainly some one to lazy to support him self might be considered pathetic but there are other reasons one might live with ones parents. For starters what about those people who look after their parents when they can no longer care for them selves. Personally I think that's lord-able.

For that matter why should there be a stigma associated with not marrying? Marriage is a very serious thing. Something one should only do if one is sure he can commit to one woman forever. After all we still say till death do us part even if the law permits divorce. Surly a man who does not marry because he can't find a woman he wishes and is able to commit to is surly doing the responsible thing.

There are a few men of independent finical means who just never got around to moving out because it never seemed like an issue.

Personally I'm coming up to my 24 birthday and I'm in much the same boat as your 30 year old friend. I'm studying at my local university so getting a lone to move out from my parents seemed nuts.

As the the whole sex think I don't see what the big deal is. I mean there is no mandatory loose your virginity age. There are many good reasons one might retain your virginity. The most obvious is moral conviction that sex is special to the point of it being a spiritual bond between 2 people. I think it makes excellent sense not to 'bind your soul' to some one when you know very well that the relationship is not one of permanent commitment especially if you believe that there may be a hangover effect in to any future relationship. These usually are religious beliefs but many non religious people hold them or similar beliefs.

I'm also a virgin and I don't recall having kissed a girl ether. That's because I never found a girl I wanted to have a relationship with who wanted that too. I do regret that but I don't regret not having 'got off' with random girls just for so called fun. I really don't see what the big deal is.

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I do regret that but I don't regret not having 'got off' with random girls just for so called fun.

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I gotta agree I don't really see the point in fucking a girl, I didn't like, just to get that nut off.
But it is weird. I'm not sure how he doesn't get curious or how he avoids being curious.
People don't like living with their parents because they're control freaks or they beat their kids and are drunk all the time. Most parents either care too much or don't care enough. Those seem like a good enough reason to move out in my opinion.

i dont think most parents are that extreme, but i would agree with the fact that people who stay living at home for no real reason are seen as sad. those who are at a local university or who are disabled are understandably allowed to stay at home. if you are physically or mentally incapable of looking after themselves (drunk uni students) or do not have the finances because they are still studying then you dont really have much choice. but if you are in full health and are earning then you should move on, you have to learn to cope, imagine living with your parents and then having to learn to wash and cook for yourself aged 40-50 when they die or need to move into a home.

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But it is weird. I'm not sure how he doesn't get curious or how he avoids being curious. People don't like living with their parents because they're control freaks or they beat their kids and are drunk all the time. Most parents either care too much or don't care enough. Those seem like a good enough reason to move out in my opinion.

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I think it really depends on the parents. I don't think any parents I know beat their kids. Certainly not kids in and beyond their late teens. Nor any that are habitually drunk. Now I can appreciate the control freak aspect. A lot of parents find it hard to let go and realise their children have grown up but i imagine this problem is far less common when children living at home actually do live their by choice. Parents realise that their children do have an easy alternative to tolerating their meddling. perhaps when you know you can move out any time you don't feel the need so much.

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but if you are in full health and are earning then you should move on, you have to learn to cope, imagine living with your parents and then having to learn to wash and cook for yourself aged 40-50 when they die or need to move into a home.

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Of course some men of older generations find them selves in exactly that situation when their wives die.

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But it is weird. I'm not sure how he doesn't get curious or how he avoids being curious.

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I imagine he does get curious. I sure know I'm curios. I can be curious in a lot of things with out necessarily having to do them directly. One finds ways to indulge ones curiosity. Personally I've probably read far too many sex guides than's healthy. Textbooks on sexual anatomy, psychology and medicine too.

Yes but why does he suppress his curiosity? Instead of moving foreward he stays in the same spot. If you ask me that is what's sad about it.

Maybe as I said there's no where to move forward to. Maybe there is no girl he really loves or cares for. Maybe there is no girl that will sleep with him. Sex isn't the be all and end all you know. It is possible to have a perfectly fulfilling life with out it. Maybe he is busy doing other things and does not have the time and energy to look for suitable girls.