Catholic Churches feel grim

Let me start off by saying this. I know that Catholics are Christians.

Now...I was born and raised into the Catohlic religion till I was about 5. Everybody all at once got out of that church and went back to the originators and started to claim themselves as Christians.

Well, I went to chruch a lot and enjoyed it. I stopped going when I was 17 because I felt that I had found my peace.

I was always open to different religions and still am. My ear is always open and I have open arms for everybody. The word "hate" is not in my dictionary.

Now, I fast forward to now. I've been married for 5 years and my spouse's family are mainly Catholic and follow in their traditions heavily. I have never had a problem with it, but I am starting to feel uneasy.

The reason is because I feel that they are getting the, "my religion is the way" types. Just recently the family has been going to retreats and coming out with a different view.

I have been in Catholic churches through out my life to go with friends, but every time I go, it feels so grim. I don't understand.

I don't like to point fingers on any religion because I am not like this. I tell people that I have a very strong faith toward god, but I am not religious.

Do I have a problem?

On a side note. We have a son and I don't know if we can comprimise about going to a non-denominational church.

Moolee, you truly get closer to God when you surpass and go beyond the restrictions of religion, so I would say you don't seem to have done anything that needs to be worried about. Carry on with your beliefs, they are much better than blindly following a particular religion.

well, i guess the issue is the acceptance from my spouse and her family. everything has been fine, but i feel things are changing.

If they cannot understand your non religiousness, then perhaps you should let them know that while you are not a devout follower, you still beleive in the basic principles, such as one God etc. However, you still need to convey your feelings about religion to your spouse perhaps, or maybe if she doesn't accept than atleast try not to offend her religion in anyway

Right on. I told them this already and let them know that I am pretty neutral about religion and why.

Their reply was, "..but God is so awesome, and you can never get enough". I replied by saying that I didn't need a church to feel this way and that I'm in touch with God with every step I make.

As for your son, teach him the principles that are found in both your path and your spouses. As he gets older, give him options. A kid can get pretty confused is his/her parents believe differently. This could lead to issues later in life, so be gentle and stress the core values of compassion, peace, mercy, humility etc Oh, and teach him to be a critical thinker too. It'll help him make better decisions.

The reason a lot of Catholic churches are grim is because Catholicism revolves around suffering and poverty. Catholicism is a serious religion and never takes itself joyfully, and, when you look back on the bloody past, you realize there's not that much to smile about. I find suffering to be a huge component of humanity (just ask Buddhists) so I find the grimness of the Catholic church rather charming. It takes different strokes, I guess.

I went to a candle light the other night and it just seemed like a ritual. Toward the end, they turned down the lights, and we lit our candles. Then the singing began, which was like 2 sentences repeated over and over for about 10 minutes. This made me feel weird, but I just went with it.

Then my wife told me a litle of what they did on retreat. It was things I was sure they would hit on to give peoples brain a bit of a shock.

This included:
a re-enactment of Jesus crucification
the last supper

So, at the end of this retreat, the retreatants got a cross. Well, this is a particular cross, that they get. Everyone that went had one and was wearing it.

In the end everything just seemed so kultish to me. I don't know though, like I said, it may just be me.

Of course religions are ritualisitc! For any institution to last over 2,000 years don't you think a little damn ritual is involved? Just look at any other religion, not just the Judeo-Christian ones. Each and every one has their own rituals. Technically, all religion are cults, so of course any religion that you aren't used to will feel that way to you. Only someone who was completely ignorant of Christianity would find the Stations of the Cross or the Re-enactment of Holy Week "shocking".

Yes, all religions are ritualistic, because most people need a defined sense of meaning in their lives. But like moolee, there are also many people who feel they can go beyond rituals.

If you loved and respected your father then your son will love and respect you.

If you fought against your father, your son will fight against you.

Concerning his feelings about God, in most cases he will feel about God as you, but that again is a choice we all make.

It makes no difference what church he goes to, but I do believe you can win the argument about not forcing him to go to church and choices, because you can't force anyone to believe.

But concerning being concerned and open - No, you're not wrong, you are just a minority - welcome to the club. As my dad said, "some people are followers and some people are leaders." Most people are followers. They will look for someone to tell them the truth and believe it without question rather than discover it for themselves.

wow okcitykid...i really enjoyed your comment about being the minority. also, being the minority, a lot will never understand because i don't follow their ways.

Moolee,
Christianity is not ment to be a religion. Christ died to set us free from religion. He calls us into a relationship with Him. He freed us from following meaningless rituals. If you are going to a catholic church where the atmosphere feels grim, why don't you find a non-catholic, evangelical church where the atmosphere is different. Where you can truly encounter the living God.

I think rituals are cool. Think about it. You stand up, you sit down, you knell down and then you stand up, again and again. Thats excersize, and if you go to mass on Wednesday, you get to do it twice a week, what a work out, Jesus would be proud.