I'm Tired Of Thinking And I Give Up

I'm tired of being smart and I give up. I'm going to stop doing all the things I do that I think make me smart. I'm going to start watching T.V. again. I'm going to get good grades in High School because I'm going to think that is what is important. I'm going to work out because I'm going to think that looks are important. I'm going to judge how succesful my life is by how "accomplished" I am. I'm going to get with girls just to have sex with them. I'm going to start drinking alcohol and Pepsi. I'm going to take depression medication. I'm going to pretend that I in fact am not pathetic. Because I give up.
Fuck it, and fuck you too.

one tihnng i wanted to say was that.. excersice cardio.. and im now realizing expecailly strenth training..makes your brain work better.. for anything!! whether it be your hobby ie: philosphizing (thats where i dedicate a lot of time).. other more practical goals.. i: making a documentar.. schiool work.. socialzing it boosts all of that

so if you do exercise to look sexy/.. looking sexy is a big fat bonus.. caue it make s you exel at philosphing and NOT GET DEpresed about it!! also makes you happy (butn dont drink or smoke or eat anti=deporesents.. eat healthy and get wenough sleep..

and you do learn from tv.. not usually directly but from wanting to counter argue what peopel say. then spending time on your own baking of your argument theory.. going for good grafdes in schoiol.. or focusing on any toher task boiosts your funciotn in other.s for some reason when you focus on task x.. you think and perform better of your hobby y.... sex is good during the ride..

btw.. your goign theough a phase state i go thorugh them often.. less often since i strenght train now (and eat properly before + after).. but everyone goe like that.. whats the ponit.. well mayeb its becaue i have goal to become famous wit hiw fiegk g

i hate you. i mean that. so much anger....
please dont say anything else. please.

He says one thing but means another. You want someone to assure you that everything you did was worthwhile and that what you're doing now is a crime against yourself. But not I or anyone else can convince you otherwise simply because there isn't anything wrong with the simple life. The simple path and the thinking path are still paths it just depends on which one you want to take.

wrong. im just letting this site discuss something. i could care less what you guys think.

awakened, we care about you, and I at the least dont think ur paethic. The thing is what hes suggesting isnt all bad, only the anit-depresents. Ive heard they dont always work.

what prompted this decision awakened?

i can understand that sometimes everyone else seems to have it easier, specially those who think with their muscles or are obsessed with academic success.

woops must have typed my message too fast.. becasue i said NOT DONT eat anti=depesence.. is the worst thing you can do.. my freind killed himslef on it.. it might be hard to get into all that stuff (exercsing etc.. but once your in that phase youl be happier than ever and will laugh at yourself in this phase... and you said "i hate you" etc.. weas it becaseu of showing an ego maybe?? thats another topic why does ego take away from image (thats why i would never express it in public just on anonomouius interent websites (althoguh certain degree of confidence for sure to just to get by socially nothing to do with spiritually really perhaps)

and to be soo stupid to judge me by a fucking comment i left on the internet.. out of a million things i could have and have not said?? that was fucking stupid/ignorant.. go fuck yourself.. you piece of shit

patape- you told me to do all the things i said i was going to. keep in mind, i also said that i think those are the most pathetic things i could do. and even more, you thought you were helping. it just made me really angry. not because of your remark, but because i saw who i was going to be. and who i am going to be. so go fuck yourself.

cynic-al- fine. i'll let you know. a person. a person that has showen me a new way prompted this. and i am tired. i am really tired. i need to rest. so im going to.

but you wouldnt be angry if you strength train.. i cant explain it does something to your brain chemistry.. i know your thinking of the sterotypical dumb built guy who gets girls but is dumb.. and just focsues on what most peopel do.. the thing is is that it makes you advance in all your mental thought INCLUDING POHILSOPHY THEORIES.. hey don't believe me if you dont want to.. but its worth a try.. (and strength training goes with a lot of other stuff in order to get the results i said, which is, cardio.. running NOT ON MAIN CITY STREETS WHERE THERE ARE EXAHUST FUMES.. an since we all probably inhled those metals which maeks us shy depreswsed low intellect low conentaion etc etc etc.. eat cilnatro and garlic!! takes the mercuryright out of your brain into your shit.. sleep enough.. eat well.. ok the main thing i learned is take a little salt/sodium beofer doing intense workout.. and after during.. becasue you sweat out toxins=good but sweat out other stuff so imporatnt to take sugar potassiouim water etc etc.. but very impottatn is salt.. peopel die ofor that reason alone (hyopmtremia) if drink water without salt while sweting =makes it worse,.. and no salt you might feel sumber.. so very imporatn some salt if your gonna sweat (which you have to only way to see imoproivemnts is by doing intense workouts).. protein after or esle will nmegativley effect yor nextr worklout. carbohydrates find your blood type eat according to that as well.. sweet poato RYE bread etc.. brown rice piotaos even = good.. beef if your blood tope o u thrive off that.. eta big meal 3 hours before intense workout.. adn just go throu every day life.. whiel oding this shiat makes hue differnce yo!

i just realized you didintn want me to say this.. thats a god point.. i wiush you would have stated that ealier thaen i waould understand better why ur mad at me. lol.. peaf

So if it helps your philosophy than why didn't any famous philosophers work out? Working out is an addiction like any else. Perhaps you're telling yourself this only to give yourself assurance of what your doing is right.

awaknd, u were dumped wernt ya. damn i hate it wen that happens.u feel like the worlds over for u. but stop wimpering like an idiot man. ur misery makes the damn bitch happy

sobeit- as true as that is, thats not important.

the point is, i am tired of being this way. in general. it really doesnt matter to me what she feels. yes, i was dumped, but thats not what this is. trust me. this isnt even the realization that i am tired of it, because i have been for a few years now. my thing is, it doesnt matter if im right. it doesnt matter if im pathetic, it doesnt matter if im wrong. because the goal is to not care. and thats what i am going to do.

something else.

i am going to start praying. thats right. me. pray. and im going to be serious about it to. i'll think of a good prayer and when i come home from work, i'll let you know what it is.

From dissatisfaction to tragedy to apathy. Numb yourself. Try never to care. Bet that leads to loads of happiness.

something else. im going to hold all of my painful emotions in, but not untill i burst. im going to release them when no ones looking.
i wonder if im allowed to make music any more?
yeah, i think i am. i just have to pretend like it doesnt matter.