Fear of self - Page 2

i feel as if i have two minds.
One loves pain and slyness.
and the other is true, loyal and honest.
The honest one is losing to the sadistic one.

i also get those times where i think of outrageous things happening... except i have learned to look past the fear in it an actually embrace it. thinking about what can be or the control you own can be a great way to learn aboutt who you really are, especially looking at what you do with those thoughts..

i have done things i could never forget or be proud of but it sometimes seems as if while i do these things i still feel guilty but i cant stop. I try then fail. But lately its as if once i finally decided to stop it has been getting easier with every small vitory yet i know that if i fail once i will loose all i have gained, once again.