How to tell her that looks aren't important

16-year-old high school student intensely focused on her looks. Not strong enough to break free from peer pressure. How do you tell a person like this that looks aren't important? She's hurting herself over this. She's skinny and does what she can to gain weight, but loses hope after many attempts and wants to commit suicide.

You say "looks are not important". If you want her to understand the words then you must wait for her to be ready to do so. People can only understand things when they see a need to. You can tell them something a hundred times but it won't be understood until circumstances corespond to spoken words.

Get her to hang out with someone who's ugly but has a great personality. Show an example. People these days "need to see it to believe it". Until she believes it she won't desire to change.

She tried to hang out with a fat girl for one day, butr couldn't continue the second day because of peer pressure. She ties self-worth to popularity, but she isn't completely superficial. She's just wrapped up in high school culture.

I know I can't tell her to stop caring about her looks. But there are ways I can influence her. That is what I need help with.

Lead by example

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She tried to hang out with a fat girl for one day

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Well at least she reached. It's a lot to give a reach and shows a desire to change. Sometimes people take the long way in solving problems. Does taking a short cut make someone better? Does the amount of time matter more than the solution? Like I've said before people live under different circumstances. For some people it's easier to hang out with a fat girl and others may think it's fun but regardless people with different circumstances could have a sort of handicap in a certain sector of their life. This girl is trying to improve hers. I think that takes something.

How you can help this girl depends on how well you know her. im presuming you must now her fairly well to care this much, and also to know what you do. but id say just try and be there for her, be a shelter from peer pressure, or any other type of pressure. if she is trying to change encourage her, but dont push her or she may decide she doesnt want to. if you dont know as more than an acquaintance, get to know her better, provide her with a friend whos not wrapped up in popularity.

True. I'm trying to get her to be more secure by taking up some sort of leadership position where she can gain confidence to do things her own way. Looks just happen to be where she's directing her insecurity.

Thanks for the advice. Any more would be welcome.