Tell a joke and then end it realistically.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the conditions on the other side were more conductive towards the chicken's goals.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Pete.
Oh.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. One to screw it in...and that's it.

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They argue about religion.

Your mother is so stupid when she hears it's chilly outside she turns up the thermostat.

Your mother is so fat that frankly, I'm concerned about her health. You should try to convince her to visit a doctor and see what can be done about the situation.

a guy walks into a bar
ouch! that must have hurt.

what did one door say to the other door?
nothing. theyre both inanimate objects.

a redneck walks into a chinse restrant.he ordered sweet and sour chicken

George Bush... is the president of the united states of america.

What word is always spelt incorrectly?
Incorrectly

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick

What's black and white and red all over?
A newspaper

What do you always see running along the streets in town?
pavements

Ok so a rabbi. a priest and a morman go into a bar.... and they sit down and argue about nonsense.

Has anyone seen the new pirate movie?

It's rated ".. R.."

Two Hydrogens walk into a bar. The first one says, "Oh No, I lost
an electron!" The second one says, "Are you sure?" The first one
says, "Yeah, I'm positive."


Mehhhhhh

This guy dies and goes to heaven.
Haha just kidding. Heaven isn't realistic.

It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to.....
oh who am i kidding.it aint gonna get crowded in heaven.

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane?
A pilot, you racist!

what do u call a bunch of black people in a buss? a rotten banana..
your mama is so fat she's gotta shit in a bath tub.

by the way I have nothing against black or fat people as long as they dont think thier Tupac or 50 cent, or lazy as fuck just sittting on thier ass hoging up the oxygen, no wonder we have less oxygen now than before, 1/3 of U.S is obeast for f*ck sakes!

Does anyone got some white or skinny people jokes, that are actually good!

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A horribly deformed mutant that will probably die of a congenital defect before birth.

Two guys walk into a bar. They sit down and have a drink. Sorry if this has been used before or something similar, just thought of posting it without reading them again.

how did the gynecologist get the nun pregnant?
he had sex with her.