I hurt the person i love most

I was with my ex for about 4 years we broke up about a year ago. Hes one of the nicest ppl i know. i broke up with him because we are different on certain levels. ne way i got a new boyfriend and never told my ex. He made me promise to tell him if i got involved or interested in someone else cause he wouldnt be able to handle being friends if i did. i didnt want to tell him because he has so much going for him and i didnt want to make him depressed. He found out from someone else and called me hysterical mainly he said if he cant trust me who can he trust. ive never seen him so upset. ive caled him once since then and he hung up as soon as her heard it was me. it hasnt been a week yet but i already felt i lost my best friend forever. Please help ive been so upset. thanx

i say he needs to get over it. if you two arent dating anymore, and you are just friends, then he needs to realize that. if he was really a true friend he would accept you have moved on and you see him on a completely different level. just make sure that you werent leading him on this whole time.

Dear Amxoxo,

Hurting one's feelings is one and sometimes inexorable, but breaking one's trust is another.

Face it, you destroyed his trust in you by breaking an important promise you made to him. Simple as that. He had obviously placed a great deal of emotional value in you, one of the greatest gifts a person may ever receive. Being in distress, as he is now, makes perfect sense, given the situation.

My advice. Learn from the consequences of your actions. Maybe this is a good moment for you to think it over what you have done to him and how you could solve this situation in finding a solution that matches or approaches your and your friends wishes. And if you're willing to salvage whatever is left of the 'friendship', it is entirely up to you to either go for it two-hundred percent or not at all. You did the damage, judging from what you wrote, so you need to fix this.

Even true friends still remain people and have, just like you, boundaries you just don't cross.

This is incredible I've never heard of two people commited to not moving on but agreeing to move on with out being commited to each other. I think it's healthy that you don't call or have any other contact with him. You're already in another commited relationship. I wonder how the other guy feels knowing that you made this commitment to the old boyfriend and you're contacting him cause you feel pity for him. call me crazy but it sounds like we have a player on our hands.

When one betrays someone close it's difficult to overcome the pain. Personally I have never really been hurt but it sounds like your friend is very sensitive. I'd say that the best thing to do is give it some time. Give him some time to get back on his feet and recover. You have already proved that you wanted to apologize and such. Time will heal all wounds. Accept the fact that you will have to walk the path without him for a while.

mjclone. r u saying im a player because i remain friends with my ex? hes like a brother to me. i just agreed to tell him when i got a bf because he said held have to make a choice whether he could still be my friend knowing im with another guy and him still having feelings for me, but when the time came i was like how can i tell this person thats in love with me that im with someone else? so i chose not too until i figured out what to do.

I apologize; no my fault. He's the player; i'm under the assumption that you have no idea whats going on in his love life. If he wants to really be friends with you then he would be happy to meet your new boyfriend; greet both of you with open arms. The diffinition of a player has been so misused it's cliche to say it now. Players only play to win and if he can't have you know one will is what i'm getting at and if you leave him then it's death between you and him; you're nothing to him.

I think you're a smart girl for breaking up with him because of the difference in mindset. My wife of 6 yrs left me for the same reason; it help me to realize there is someone else out there that needs to be loved and not have her love just me.

I don't know the guy, but i would say let him be... if he wants to be your friend and boyfriend; maybe later; let him get that hunger for you again (not in a pyscotic way) that makes him become creative have a life of his own and understand why he is choosing you.

I guess i'm putting a lot of me and my beliefs in this thread. I just thought he sounded like a player, reminded me of my original self. But I took the better side of me and cloned it and here i am.

Enjoy your new boyfriend have fun live it up you only live once

mjclone...thanx i understand what u mean. hes honestly a great guy i always said ppl would be lucky to even know somone like him in there entire lifetime. thank your for your input i really appreciate it.

thanks for the thread....it help me reopen my feelings to my ex again. She'll be coming into town to visit our boys for thanksgiving. That bitter gene wants over take the new clone but i'll take oxycotton for it.

im sorry to hear about that. i think that things happen for a reason..... in order to let someone better happen in the future. it just sux that we need to be hurt in the mean time.

Hey NP. I gotten the realization that you attract what you are. That life dosn't happen to you. You happen to life. Hurt is a feeling that can be changed just as easy as you thought it. I'm not trying to knock the condolence I greatly appreciate the affection. I wrote so many things in the space to end this comment but kept erasing it. so i'll end it like th......