Soul Mate? - Page 2

you are correct, soul mates do not hold the same perception. nowhere did i even imply that. i was talking about the search for a soul mate, you are talking about actually finding them, two entirely different concepts. youve missed my point entirely.

I always ever since I was little when searching for things I always had the goal of finding it. If you searched in the wrong spot how were you supposed to find it?

i dont think finding a soul mate is exactly like finding a nerf ball.

rarely do you find what you are looking for in the first place that you go. some search all the wrong places their entire lives. still, what i was trying to explain in the first place is that when a person is looking, their methods differ dependong upon their individual thought processes (which result in a given perception). some peoples methods are more effective than others. some people just get lucky, although im not convinced that luck is ever truly at hand.

Why don't people find what their looking for? There's a reason why people search their whole lives. That is because their perceptions cloud their judgment towards what is real and true. People who find it in the first place they looked, understand and have enough knowledge to comprehend such a thing. You're right people don't get lucky and that's the point of the thread.

What about the whole Romea and Juliet scenario. What if you found some one who you could connect with so well on a certain deeper level but everything else was just too opposite and negating.
My current gf is naive, materialistic, christian, insecure, etc. but she pretty much tells me the truth about every thing and is open with me. And she gives and lets me give her soo much attention. If it weren't for that I'd never even cared for her. But we aren't alowed to see each other because her mom won't let her date an "atheist" and she already has these big plans for her future that never included me.
On the other hand I have this girl I was once with who has now grown up much as I have and we connect on many levels too, however the opposite ones my current gf does. She has a wild streak, shes fun, we are usually on the same page, she considers herself a philosopher and she plans to settle down in her early twenites to have kids and just enjoy life. She has a few character quarks like smoking but those can be forgiven and hopefully if she has enough love in her for herself and the rest of us she will stop that. The only problem is last year when we went out she wouldn't open up. And that is the most important thing to me. But she and I have both matured a bit so I'm thinking she might be willing to be more open.

Every day for a while now I've thought of breaking up with my gf, and every day I ask myself if love is enough. But who is to say what love is and if it is enough.
I just don't know what to do.

Can we live with our soul mates?

Ancient, your atheism affects your lifestyle just as your girlfriend's Chrisitianity affects hers. You are open to each other. But would you be able to live with each other?

It easier to love them than love and live with them.

Torn between two girls. The funny thing is this usually happens to girls except being torn between two guys. But interesting enough the girl will almost always stay with the current guy. Why? Well it's because their scared of risk. See they'd rather be in a safe and secure relationship. Would you say that's wrong? Of course not it's their life.

It's such a difficult problem yet there are only two answers. A girl and B girl. Truly is a life-altering scenario. But in my opinion I'd go with the girl who's fun. It's a risk but it'd be worth it. In the end happiness will prevail.

Thanks for the advice guys, every bit helps me think it through.

quote:

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It easier to love them than love and live with them.

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Why does this happen so often? Two inseparable and then they move in together and everything goes haywire. I always find that they don't really love each other but they are only attracted to each other. Attraction is caused by hormones and is often mistaken for love. The hormones allow people to be blind to the truth and cloud the judgment of the two.

Agreed. People confuse attration with love. Love blinds a person's judgement and leads him/her to do stupid things.

Young couples assume marriage is like an endless honeymoon, so they get disappointed when the initial phase of love passes and think it's over.

Take the psychology of it. Young people don't want to be like their parents. So they take the opposite approach... and expect the opposite approach to be the land of happiness. Which isn't surprising that it fails.

There is no soul so by deduction there is no such thing as a soul mate.

The closest thing to having a "soul mate" is marrying a woman you treat like your mother and you don't have sex with her.

The only example I can think of of someone who found his "soul mate" was Sri Aurobindo.

Soul Mates IMO do not exist. For me the best mate would be a person who is willing to accept and respect my differences as I would theirs.

Stop looking. Of the 7 billion or so people on the planet, there are likely many you are compatible with; but some or one will be put in your life. Be yourself, follow your path, let things naturally evolve. If you meet someone you feel attracted to , and is attracted to you, and possesses what you value in a human being.... let things flow... do not "obsess" about whether this is "the one". Even though I don't really believe the concept of "soul-mate", term coined by some human, if there is such thing, I don't think you would "know" your soul mate via your conscious analytical mind anyway. You are trying to use logic in an area where no logic exists! If only falling in love were logical! I would be "in love" with those nice, stable, able to commit accountants and lawyers who make a good living, instead of falling in love with penniless musicians and artists who will predictably think I am "the love of their life", until one day, suddenly; "they need their space....."

After a long marriage to a wonderful guy, and now 5 years with another guy I feel so deeply connected to in every way , I honestly believe that true soul mates are a huge rarity and if you search endlessly you may be terribly disappointed. Sometimes we have to lower our expectations. Chill out and hope you will meet someone who literally takes your breath away when you meet for the first time. and that is a good indication there is something special about them (over and above sexual lust) As soul mates so rare the next best thing is that they become best friend, mate, lover, brother/sister, mother/father, teacher/pupil and maybe with time the kismet of soul connection will be there