DAAAHHHHH PANIC!!!!!!

okie dokie so this is what happened.......

i was at my friend's house hangin out with some of our friends, one of which happend to be my best friend (who is a guy). we will call this best friend of mine jack. well, jack has a girlfriend, who we will call sally. sally is also one of my best friends.
Sally was out of town this week on vacation so she couldn't be there with us when we were all hanging out. now, something you should know is that i have never had any feelings for jack at all ever and i am pretty sure i still don't. but.....

when we were all hanging out...jack, me, and some other people....we were all piled up on the couch watching a movie. i was sitting next to jack and we were sharing a blanket. (we were all cold and under blankets because we had just gotten back from running in the rain for the hell of it). but anyways....jack had his arm around me which was no big deal he's just a friend and we are all very close. but then he started holding my hand. that was something that has never happened before, at least not with someone who was just a friend. i got the distinct feeling that he likes me more than just a friend.

the problem is his girlfriend is my best friend!!!! i feel guilty and i didn't even do anything!!!!! PANIC!!!! just had to let this out. i can't tell any of my friends or they will spill it all out so i had to tell someone. i just cant stop feeling guilty even though i didnt' do anything wrong

it would seem that you did not question his actions at all. you did not make attempts to stop the situation. you should have taken some initiative and then you wouldnt be in this situation.

agreed. its that mentality that leads to affairs. though i am not comparing this situation to that! you knew it wasnt right and it was awkward. dont make excuses for something in which you have complete control over.

Wow you guys sure are harsh! Maybe you've never lost control of a situation but it happens to most people from time to time. And this is really no big deal nothing that a conversation can't fix.

yes it is harsh, but for good reason. as for the better stated, this mentality can lead to affairs. a seemingly innocent shoulder rub or hand holding can mean a lot more to one party than another. its best to always make your intentions very clear, as well as understand others.

You make too much of it. Fireflys is obviously an intelligent person as she recognizes the problem here. Instead of telling her what she should have done it would have been more prudent to tell her how to proceed. Conversation can see this made right.

well i found it more important to give advice on the future. remedying the current issue is simple. and as you said, she is intelligent, so i felt that she knew how to fix the current situation.

anyway, lets not make this an argument. both future and present are important.

sometimes a little harshness will wake a person up rather than her coming back and reading posts that justify her actions. no one said she was dumb, its just, i see WAY too many people make wrong decisons b/c they know a lot of people will just be overlysupportive and say ' oh its ok ' :: pat on back: which is supportive yes, but most likely the wrongdoer will repeat wrong actions in the future because they know someone will always see their way and rationalize the situation to their liking.
but, i suppose ethereal has a point. what i would do in her situation... make sure that her best friends bf ( i think thats who she said it was ) well, id have a talk with him in stating that what happened made you feel really awkward, and include how important your friendship is with his gf. id state that we are two people who have a hugeeffect on this girl, and would not do something impulsive to weaken the bonds that are already there.

quote:

---

well, id have a talk with him in stating that what happened made you feel really awkward, and include how important your friendship is with his gf. id state that we are two people who have a hugeeffect on this girl, and would not do something impulsive to weaken the bonds that are already there.

---

best advice for this situation, thus far.

there is a tiny thing here that says 'perspective'-not abig deal.
nonetheless wrong is wrong.
agree with what sad.
key lessontho-learn from this & don't repeat

yea you are right i shouldn't have let that happen. when he did it, it just kind of took me by surprise and i didn't know what to think of it because i never saw anything like that coming.

next time i see him i will talk to him about it and see what he has to say. i'm just glad there were alot of other people were there or else i would have confronted him at that very moment and ruined our friendship.

thanks guys

just one more question...should i tell his girlfriend about it? this just made me think....how many other girls does he do stuff with behind her back? maybe none, but i don't know

personally i wouldn't-may just crete a mountain out of molehill and its hard to explain clearly when u do this.Make sure you sufficently think its just a random thing tho with him first. Then move on but don't forget it. hope thers add their views also!

theres no need to bring her in to the incident. if its a common occurance with him, shell figure it out on her own. and yea, it seems like that would be making things a bit bigger than they really were.

now if he had made a direct pass at you, or some more specifically sexual act had occured... then you probaby ought to tell her.

Yes it may make a mountain out of a molehill but on the other hand what if she finds out anyway then it will look as though you had something to hide. These things always have a way of coming back to haunt us.

thats where the issue of trust comes in to play. little things like this happen all the time and you can choose to be paranoid about it or you can trust in the other person.